[GTA_stu]

This will be a discussion about when the male human gets happy and his doo-dah goes pointy, if you came for Korean elections then you're in the wrong place. Now I know it's strange to talk about, but it's something all men have to go through, and something we experience every day. Unless of course you're impotent in which case my condolences to you, and you may want to speak with Pele.

So like, what's up with them? They're f*cking weird and annoying. I had a massive one just now for no reason whatsoever, and it just would not disappear or calm itself down. I needed to pee so bad, and it was practically pinned to my stomach. I couldn't physically get it anywhere near being at a 90* angle to my body without snapping the thing off. So I had to improvise and lean forward into a ski jumper pose and go for burst fire, which was incredibly uncomfortable, slightly painful and took a very long time. And I still manged to get it all over the wall and on the floor. It must have taken me 10 minutes to completely finish.



They just arrive at the most annoying times, I had one at a wedding not long ago whilst we were eating dinner. Then everyone finished and we were supposed to be going into the next room for drinks and crap. My sister was thankfully seated next to me and on the pretext of acting gentlemanly I grabbed her purse and carried it for her. I did look a bit weird with it thrust right into my crotch, but it would have looked weirder without it there, especially with all the kids running around. It's always there in the morning, always, without fail. On numerous occasions I had a freezing cold flannel put on my chest/face by my parents because they thought I was being a lazy little sh*t and didn't want to go to school. When in actual fact I kept begging for another 5 minutes in bed because I didn't want them to be faced with their son's glans pointing at them in a threatening manner.

They're obviously useful for procreation or stabbing a crouched man in the eye, but I wish they were more controllable. It's like having tourettes except instead of constant small ticks, you just have one massive prolonged outburst of "FUUUUUUUUCK" coming from your manhood.

So rant away about how they annoy you, or tell of any embarrassing experiences you've had with them.

[Mockage]

When you're taking a leak with one...

[OverTheBelow]

Pisses me off when I can't lie on my front in bed without getting a boner.

Also, when it won't go away promptly. Sometime's I'll be bursting for a piss just standing there in front of the toilet for a few minutes, waiting for it to go down so I don't douse the bathroom ceiling. Though my patience often has a limit, and I have had many failed attempts at trying to aim into the toilet while in this handicapped state.

[Moonshield]

Rando boners are embarrassing, but happens because your body's just pumping blood through the muscle and often not because you're excited. It usually happens when you're sleeping, hence waking up with a tent pitched.

[ccrogers15]

-removed-

This post has been edited by ccrogers15 on Sunday, Oct 28 2012, 09:29

[TheGreatGig23]

I remember when I worked as a sort-of-courier, I had to drop off this package at a shop but on the drive there, Johnny Boy decided it would be a good time to attack the zip of my jeans. As time was a critical factor of this job, I couldn't just sit and wait for things to die down. This was a busy street with plenty of eye witnesses to witness my "eye". I jumped out of the van and quickly made my way to the back to collect the package. I walked in to the shop, got a signature and hopped back in the van, all the while safe in the knowledge that my rager was tucked away under my belt. Never in my life have I looked so damn conspicuous.

[Original Light]

QUOTE (Moonshield @ Saturday, Aug 18 2012, 12:42)

Rando boners are embarrassing, but happens because your body's just pumping blood through the muscle and often not because you're excited. It usually happens when you're sleeping, hence waking up with a tent pitched.

You decided to unlock it I see.

Well, I hate morning wood. Also when you have to get up, and you have one, while you're trying to get rid of it before that happens.

[finn4life]

QUOTE (Moonshield @ Sunday, Aug 19 2012, 06:42)

Rando boners are embarrassing, but happens because your body's just pumping blood through the muscle and often not because you're excited. It usually happens when you're sleeping, hence waking up with a tent pitched.

If i remember right i actually asked my PD teacher back at school why that was (Yes it was a girl), she said it was because before you wake up your body is testing that everything is working, and there you go, morning wood.

I can't say i have a big problem with erections (No my penis is not small, figure of speech), when i need to pee it can be annoying, and kinda hurts, even worse if you have to take a dump, just gotta kinda force it down and for me it relaxes itself once the urine starts to flow.

As for spontaneous boners, well i wear briefs rather than boxers, they keep the boner under-wraps, the fold that is always in your fly hides it adequately, it's still a bit uncomfortable though, i always seem to go through scenarios when i am...Pro-Bono (New meaning as of now) where friends - guys and girls - just decide to sack whack me at that point and discover a rager, it's never happened, but man it would be awkward if it did, thankfully most people are past the teenage urge to inflict pain on each other for no reason.

[Icarus]

QUOTE (Moonshield @ Saturday, Aug 18 2012, 13:42)

It usually happens when you're sleeping, hence waking up with a tent pitched.

That always makes the morning piss that much more fun.

I remember I was TAing back in February and randomly during the lab, I ended up pitching a tent and of course, students were asking if I would come to their desk and help them. I had to be somewhat of a dick and tell them to come to me, since I didn't feel like moving.

[GTA_stu]

Should of asked them to sit on your lap Icarus.

[Icarus]

There were definitely some hotties in that lab.

I got lucky (in a sense) to be TAing the first year physics lab for life science students (and the ones who call themselves "pre-med"), so it tends to have some good looking women. TAing the fist year physics lab for physics major... eh... not so much.

The downside is I get stuck with "pre-med" kids who whine about marks frequently.

[shiva s]

I use to get it often when I'm in class. Sometimes, I use to be called my teacher to the middle of the class for explaining a mathematical problem and I would hesitate to even stand up. I just hate it.

[_____]

I don't have any awkward stories involving boners to share. The thing I noticed lately is that I tend to get them when I see a girl I like, and I mean sentimentally, not physically (sounds kind of like bullsh*t). Though this only happens when I'm at a certain distance alone. I'm pretty sure I could control it otherwise.

[El Zilcho]

QUOTE (_____ @ Sunday, Aug 19 2012, 00:25)

I don't have any awkward stories involving boners to share. The thing I noticed lately is that I tend to get them when I see a girl I like, and I mean sentimentally, not physically. Though this only happens when I'm at a certain distance alone. I'm pretty sure I could control it otherwise.

Funny, girls I like sentimentally tend to be less sexually attractive to me.

[WF the Hobgoblin]

Apart from the morning ones, I don't really get random boners anymore.

[_____]

Yeah, the same is true for me. But for whatever reason I seem to get a boner when I see the girl I somewhat like right now.

I have been thinking of her "that way" I guess, but there are other girls more attractive than her and I don't get instant boners when I see them.

[LazyboyEight]

I read somewhere that a way to get rid of a boner is to cut your cock off take a deep breath and hold it there. Apparently it has something to do with the blood that goes to your penis going up to your head. What a nice thought.

[Exxon]

QUOTE (LazyboyEight @ Saturday, Aug 18 2012, 23:56)

I read somewhere that a way to get rid of a boner is to cut your cock off take a deep breath and hold it there. Apparently it has something to do with the blood that goes to your penis going up to your head. What a nice thought.

I'll keep that one in mind, could come in handy from now on ^^

[OverTheBelow]

QUOTE (Exxon @ Sunday, Aug 19 2012, 01:04)

QUOTE (LazyboyEight @ Saturday, Aug 18 2012, 23:56) I read somewhere that a way to get rid of a boner is to cut your cock off take a deep breath and hold it there. Apparently it has something to do with the blood that goes to your penis going up to your head. What a nice thought. I'll keep that one in mind, could come in handy from now on ^^

It's a myth. Best way to get rid of a boner is to distract yourself from it.

[Chunkyman]

I have to be careful when having one inside a girl, might split her in half.