Useful Idiot. Group: The Connection
Joined: Oct 26, 2011
QUOTE (Gareth Croke @ Thursday, Aug 9 2012, 20:37)
I once used Veet hair removal cream on my sack and crack to get rid of the hair... should have read the packet.
I have an interesting story involving that stuff, two women, a cold shower and excessive amounts of alcohol and weed.
Personally, the worst mistake I made was to perform acrobatics on my bed. It was all fun and games until I ended up falling head first into a gap about 2x2ft. My body came crashing down on top of my neck and I ended up with two slipped disks. Needless to say, it f*cking hurt. I remember feeling ultra cool when I went to school. I had to wear a neck brace for a while. A lot of the girls thought I had almost died or something and seemed genuinely grateful that I was alright. I later learnt that they only cared because it saved them the hassle of finding someone to replace The Star in the play. c*nts.
Shoot Looters, Hang Pirates! Group: Members
Joined: Dec 25, 2006
Back in the 70s, we got a pair of MG-42s and a couple of boxes of ammo. The ammunition had been repacked in to U.S. cans. We filled the belts and put in 4 ball and one armour pierce cartridge as the pattern. On the range we started shooting, and the parapets started burning. We found out, the hardway, that in der Heer black tips ment incendiary, not 'plain' armour pierce like in the U.S. armory. After the fire was put out a good laugh was had by all.
Li'l G Loc Group: $outh $ide Hoodz
Joined: Jan 23, 2012
QUOTE (Gareth Croke @ Thursday, Aug 9 2012, 19:37)
I once used Veet hair removal cream on my sack and crack to get rid of the hair... should have read the packet.
Lol what happened?
I once swallowed a poisonous berry by accident, and after coughing it out I spent the next 10 minutes dry heaving because of the horrible taste in my mouth.
QUOTE (Gareth Croke @ Thursday, Aug 9 2012, 19:37)
I once used Veet hair removal cream on my sack and crack to get rid of the hair... should have read the packet.
Lol what happened?
I once swallowed a poisonous berry by accident, and after coughing it out I spent the next 10 minutes dry heaving because of the horrible taste in my mouth.
Yeah, I also would like to know what happened.
BTW, You were lucky to get it out. I once put a half eaten apple in my mouth so I could run down the stairs faster (instead of holding the apple in my hand). It was a huge mistake, my parents tried to cut out the front part of the apple with a fork (it got stuck in my neck) and I had to go to hospital for surgery to take the apple out. I was there for 2 weeks.
Well i got hit in the ball-sack whilst visiting a friend a few years ago, it was a solid hit, we thought some heat cream would alleviate the problem. It didn't.
Pretty much what Croke said, it burned like hell.
The other one was when i broke my arm like 5 years ago, stole a bunch of grease from a school that was being built nearby, greased up this slide at the play-ground that is probably 8 metres long, and 4 metres high off the ground, i had never skateboarded before, but now was my chance, i was stupid enough to think of this myself, after a few goes i crashed at the bottom, bent my wrist where it wasn't meant to bed. Saw the doc a few days later and my radius was snapped in half about 2 inches above my wrist.
Cunning Stunter Group: Members
Joined: Mar 25, 2005
I once climbed a tree with nails in it (so you could climb up with more grip) ended up slipping and hitting my leg onto the rusty nail.
So my leg got stuck to the nail, which was inside the tree. Now as you know nails have heads on them, so I had to pull my leg off the head in one time.
Boy, it ended up looking like a meat volcano. But it didn't hurt until the jodium, THAT f*ckING JODIUM.
The Phoenix rises from the ashes. Group: Members
Joined: Sep 15, 2010
There was a football game taking place (this was back in my Primary school years) and the ball rolled down to the centre of the pitch whilst the teams were talking over a dispute. I saw the ball roll to the centre and I decided to run over to it and boot it back up the pitch, bad decision. Instead of kicking the ball I missed my footing and stomped my foot on top of the ball which rolled away leading my foot to smack the ground flat on its side - in short I twisted my ankle, badly.
My foot was badly injured, and so was my pride for cocking up such a simple move.
And that's not the first time I've twisted my ankle by missing my footing when it comes to kicking a ball, and it's because of that that I don't play footie anymore.
Orthonormal Group: The Connection
Joined: Sep 1, 2002
Reminds me of when I was at camp once and two guys thought it would be a really bright idea to rub A-535 (muscle relaxant) on their balls. I never saw someone run for the sink so fast. They were bawling their eyes out when that one was over.
I put some "heat muscle cream" or something like that on my arms after going to the gym because I was in pain. Once I had put it on my arms and shoulders, I went to bed. As soon as I got in bed, I rubbed my face and eyes with my hand and I forgot there was still a bit of the cream that remained on my hands. My face and eyes were burning and I would have been better off not bothering with the cream at all.
Just keep swimming... Group: Members
Joined: Jun 14, 2011
Some kids bet my friend $200 bucks that he wouldn't take a sh*t on this rich kids truck. He said he'd give me 25 bucks to take a picture so the next night, we wen't to his house, he took a sh*t right on the hood I took a picture and I got paid. Haha the next day the kids statues was like "I'M GONNA KILL WHOEVER DID THIS."
about 5 years ago I ran up the stairs, tumbled, fell up the stairs, but in doing this I put all my weight on my left big toe, broke it and pushed the nail into it.
Stupid moment number 2 - on my first pneumophorax I probably went what they call 'full retard', cos I felt some pain at 8am, and waited for it to go away, thinking it was jsut soemthing temporary and insignificant, I waited for 2 hours, including sitting through a 1 hour speech about something or other in school while in extreme pain in the corner.
This one was not me, I was merely a witness but still funny. It was when we first got a microwave, so years go, and a friend of the family was over and was trying to cook something, he put an egg in the microwave (completely unaware of the consequences) I had jsut come downstairs to get a drink I asked "what you cooking" and he just said "eggs" and I looked as he pressed the button for the microwave and shouted "noooooo!" and then bang the egg exploded.
This post has been edited by NateShaw92 on Friday, Aug 10 2012, 00:25
What a pisser. Group: Andolini Mafia Family
Joined: Feb 22, 2011
QUOTE (Gareth Croke @ Thursday, Aug 9 2012, 19:37)
I once used Veet hair removal cream on my sack and crack to get rid of the hair... should have read the packet.
I remember the first time I tried hair removal of that particularly delicate region. I used an electric shaver after I heard some friends at college (non US version) talking about it, and I thought "Oh yh that's for me". So I stood there with legs spread and started with the electric shaver, it was a bit painful and the pubes were just falling on my bedroom carpet. I wasn't too bothered, I'd never done this before and I was kinda mesmorised by my pubic hair just falling away. It hurt but I kept going, it was only about 10 minutes into the procedure that I realised my sack was bleeding.
It wasn't heavy but it was kinda off putting, the shaving really hurt as well. It was just nicking my bollocks constantly making tiny little cuts. I believe the Chinese call it "death by a thousand cuts", and I was experiencing it first hand. I managed to complete the uneven topography of my wrinkly balls and moved on to the lower stomach area, basically all the remaining pubes which weren't on my sack, and breezed through it. But I'd made such a mess of my carpet, there was just a big pile of curly little black hairs.
I had to get rid of the evidence so I ran downstairs and grabbed the hoover and promptly sucked all the pubes into the vacuum cleaner. Then I realised that my white boxer shorts had a pretty big red patch on the underside, my balls had been seeping blood and it looked like I'd had my first period. At least I knew it hadn't made me pregnant. I cleaned my balls using some warm water and stuffed the underpants into a smokey bacon crisp packet and shoved them into the bottom of my bin. Nobody would know of my shame, then I put some clean boxers on and got dressed before anyone came home.
Now I just use a manual, much less messy and traumatic.
