[DeeperRed]

Hi guys, I am sorry if this is not standard Writer discussion protocol but I would really love some help with script writing.

Basically I have had this movie developing in my head for years and I have finally decided to produce a first draft of a script. Not for anyone but myself, but with the hope of someday finding funding and actually getting it made. However, I have hit a hurdle instantly and Internet research is not proving helpful so I thought some of you talented peeps could let me know.

This is a film I want to direct, so the story has been thought up and stored in my head in a film fashion. Thus I am finding it hard to relay it in writing, its not my lack of expression with vocab its I am having trouble explaining scenes in a fluid fashion. Given a camera I could easily shoot it, but I not going to get anywhere near that stage without a good script.

I have written scripts before, but usually I don't have the film thought through in so much detail so its easier to get the detail when writing. Here I honestly can play the whole movie visually through my head, camera angles, pacing and all and I want to do my best to get this vision across on paper.

For example I am already having trouble writing the opening scene. I'll write it like I see it in my head, and hopefully one of you can explain exactly how to put this in script format whilst retaining the importance of the revel.

The scene opens up to a gun pointed directly at the camera, front on. Then it cuts to a teddy's bear black glass eye reflecting the image of the gun pointed towards it. Then it slowly tracks up the gun to reveal it being held by Rabbit teddy bear, which in turn is being supported by a young boy who is roleplaying as the rabbit. Now I am confident in my ability to write actions, expressions and diolouge in script format, I just can't get reveals written right and its going to pose a problem later on. I guess its a case of setting the action, whilst making clear what information is held back from the viewer in a comprehensible, flowing manner.

If anyone could help it would be much appreciated, nothing more disconcerting then trying to put my dream movie down in words and stumbling at the first hurdle.

This post has been edited by DeeperRed on Monday, Aug 6 2012, 19:47

[Ziggy455]

Why don't you give me a basic layout of the first scene, the dialogue you want and I'll knock up a brief little thing for you. If you like it, we'll take it from there.

[DeeperRed]

QUOTE (Ziggy455 @ Monday, Aug 6 2012, 20:44)

Why don't you give me a basic layout of the first scene, the dialogue you want and I'll knock up a brief little thing for you. If you like it, we'll take it from there.

Thanks man that would be extremely helpful. I'll PM you the shizzle when I am finished. Much appreciated.

[Ziggy455]

QUOTE (DeeperRed @ Monday, Aug 6 2012, 20:53)

QUOTE (Ziggy455 @ Monday, Aug 6 2012, 20:44) Why don't you give me a basic layout of the first scene, the dialogue you want and I'll knock up a brief little thing for you. If you like it, we'll take it from there. Thanks man that would be extremely helpful. I'll PM you the shizzle when I am finished. Much appreciated.

Not a problem.

[Ronmar The Only]

Remember that a spec script isn't a shooting script, and definitely isn't what will be on screen necessarily.

Additionally, the general rule of thumb is that you give an establishing shot, then focus into the details that you're wanting. If I'm reading into what you're saying, you want to seemingly to the reverse, and that can be easily done, but don't forget to fully paint some picture. You can just do it piece by piece.

FADE IN:

INT. BOY'S BEDROOM - DAY (PRESENT)

A row of teddy bears line the sky blue colored wall. A black and white TEDDY BEAR sits in a kid's chair in front of the rest. Something sparkles in its right glass eye.

INSERT - TEDDY BEAR'S RIGHT EYE, which shows:

A black 9mm pistol aims directly at the Teddy Bear.

BACK TO THE BOY'S BEDROOM

A gray, plush RABBIT with shades of black holds the pistol supported by a YOUNG BOY, 5, with blond curls.


Something like this may work. Also, while you say you've written scripts for quite a bit, I would suggest a few books (that you may already have).

First up would be The Screenwriter's Bible by David Trotter. The second would be the series of Save the Cat! books by Blake Synder. Finally, I would suggest you buy or find spec scripts and shooting scripts of films that share genre and types to yours.

This post has been edited by Ronmar The Only on Tuesday, Aug 7 2012, 03:24