[NeedZombiez]

Cancelled!



This post has been edited by NeedZombiez on Monday, Oct 22 2012, 13:02

[xGhostx]

Look promising, good luck and welcome to the forum.

[Notna]

Yepz, gotta try this sometime. Always for the countrymen!

[tinu09]

Wow, I will play it for sure!I'm downloading right now, and after I will give the feedback.

Okay, here's my feedback:

Mission 1: Introduction

It's a good mission for a Introduction, aslo it's pretty short because you just need to go to the City Hall with a car.

Rating: 7.5

Mission: 2: Memories

You made a big mistake because the weather was foggy, and when a actor talking you should put ( Actor ) text or Actor: Text if you know how to edit in N++ or Actor= Text, anyway aslo the 9MM it's not a god weapon for a FBI Member, because FBI Members have MP5 and a Body Armour was needed there, but I understand, okay, you're a newbie, but I know you will improve your DYOM skills and maybe you will be the next LCJ..

Rating: 7.1


Mission 3: New Contacts

A pretty short mission too, because you just need to take some pictures of a body, but I like how you did the accident, was too realistic.

Rating: 8.2

Improve your skills!

This post has been edited by tinu09 on Saturday, Aug 4 2012, 12:39

[xGhostx]

QUOTE (tinu09 @ Friday, Aug 3 2012, 11:20)

Wow, I will play it for sure!I'm downloading right now, and after I will give the feedback.

Edit the code, type '''' at the end of your sentence.

Also...

QUOTE

I'm looking for a partener for my new mission pack ''The Bikers''

I'm looking for a partner for my new mission pack ''The Bikers''

[NeedZombiez]

QUOTE (tinu09 @ Friday, Aug 3 2012, 11:20)

Wow, I will play it for sure!I'm downloading right now, and after I will give the feedback. Okay, here's my feedback: Mission 1: Introduction It's a good mission for a Introduction, aslo it's pretty short because you just need to go to the City Hall with a car. Rating: 7.5 Mission: 2: Memories You made a big mistake because the weather was foggy, and when a actor talking you should put ( Actor ) text or Actor: Text if you know how to edit in N++ or Actor= Text, anyway aslo the 9MM it's not a god weapon for a FBI Member, because FBI Members have MP5 and a Body Armour was needed there, but I understand, okay, you're a newbie, but I know you will improve your DYOM skills and maybe you will be the next LCJ.. Rating: 7.1 Mission 3: New Contacts A pretty short mission too, because you just need to take some pictures of a body, but I like how you did the accident, was too realistic. Rating: 8.2 Improve your skills!

Thank you!

As you know I'm really new!

This Pack is under Con for now.
Yes I did some mistakes.
I'm going to recreate all of the missions.
And I'm going to change the storyline a bit.

Thank you really

The pack was on Pause for 2-3 weeks.
I will be getting it back on now!

Ps.
The mission where you had to take pics was the best mission I've done.

[NeedZombiez]

The first mission of the new V2.
Tell me what you think..

[tinu09]

No problem man, I will play the V2 version right now, and give you another feedback.

EDIT:Ugh, ok here's my feedback:
The V2 version it's better than V1, aslo I like that scene when the wife of the main character dies, you should need to put a objective to get the car and after to go to the HQ, but it's okay, I enjoyed the mission, it's really good for a newbie, aslo I noticed this time you put some color texts, and why did you put '' when someone talks ''?

Rating:8.4

This post has been edited by tinu09 on Monday, Aug 13 2012, 09:58

[NeedZombiez]

QUOTE (tinu09 @ Monday, Aug 13 2012, 11:49)

No problem man, I will play the V2 version right now, and give you another feedback. EDIT:Ugh, ok here's my feedback: The V2 version it's better than V1, aslo I like that scene when the wife of the main character dies, you should need to put a objective to get the car and after to go to the HQ, but it's okay, I enjoyed the mission, it's really good for a newbie, aslo I noticed this time you put some color texts, and why did you put '' when someone talks ''? Rating:8.4

Hehe..
I did add the car objective first, but when i marked the checkpoint and you had to get out of the car it say'd ''GET BACK IN THE CAR''

Someone told me I should add '' when a character speaks. It makes it more clear.

[Notna]

You should put the text like this: (Person) Hey!

[NeedZombiez]

QUOTE (Notna @ Monday, Aug 13 2012, 17:09)

You should put the text like this: (Person) Hey!

Omg... So much work... And school starting tomorrow... I might have to put this on hold

[Csabi98]

I played the intro, and it was good, even though it was too short. Even for an intro mission, you could've added more dialogue. One more thing I don't understand is why you put " " in your dialogues. That is used in stories, written stories. In game you don't have to do that(Unless you want to work more). I see Justin was already in a talking animation before you went there. First you gotta "Hide Actor" on the first Justin(which would not have the talking anim), next you must create a new Justin with a talking animation(either create a new actor, or duplicate the previous one by pressing CTRL+P and editing his animation to talk). One more thing that usually the ones who are not english do, is overusing "..." You should never overuse "...", just end your missions with one ".", not three.
The good part though is the coloring of text, correct cutscenes and you got a good story. The mission is made correct so no comment, only the text.
I see you also overuse "..." in your forum posts sometimes. To fix this, you could use commas instead.
"I will never forget his face... I will hunt him down..."
"I will never forget his face, I will hunt him down."
I don't know about you, but the second one seems nicer for me.