[billy james]

QUOTE (universetwisters @ Monday, Jul 16 2012, 21:02)

QUOTE (InfernoV @ Monday, Jul 16 2012, 16:23) QUOTE (universetwisters @ Sunday, Jul 15 2012, 12:23) QUOTE (Coat. @ Sunday, Jul 15 2012, 06:49) On every news and media station screened the horrific death of Obama. Meanwhile, In Sesame Street, Liberty City, word was getting around  about the death of the president and the dangerous and armed killer. Elmo's girlfriend gasped and bursted into tears and Big Bird stood there in complete shock. A few weeks back, Bert was having an erotic affair with Elmo (no strings attached) and when he found out, he jumped off his sixty story balcony. Everyone thought the cold killer known as Elmo was truly dead. When in fact, he sat in a far away barn house polishing his rifle. His ping pong eyes stared back at him in the rifles reflection. He cupped his hand to lit a cigar and took a deep inhale before asking himself, "Why did I move here?..." He walked down the street to his local hobby shop to buy some model trains to drown his sorrows with, much like all the autistics and vietnam veterans before him. When he entered the hobby shop, he found... Then everyone died happily ever after! Meanwhile, in Heaven...

God is deciding what to do with an angle who stole a....

[MyDog]

...a bag of peanuts belonging to

[universetwisters]

QUOTE (MyDog @ Thursday, Aug 9 2012, 07:21)

...a bag of peanuts belonging to

...Mr. Rodgers, who is well-known in Heaven for smuggling...

[MyDog]

...nectar and ambrosia directly from Olympus. And since God loves to smoke that stuff...

[billy james]

...He can't see the problem of how that could've gone wrong so he....

[universetwisters]

..summoned the devil and challenged him to a fiddling contest, where...

[billy james]

...The devil won by forfeit because god had to...

[universetwisters]

...answer his phone to check on the status of his pizza delivery, which hasn't arrived in an hour...

[billy james]

...And a half so it's free with a new...

[universetwisters]

...side of cheese-filled bread. God promptly told off the driver and placed the cheese-filled bread into his mouth, where...

[billy james]

...He starts to choke on it and spits it out, causing...

[universetwisters]

...an Earthly war on all the pizza joints on Earth...

[billy james]

...And Mars where pizza costs a lot more money because...

[lzw3]

...there's no tomatoes there. But anyway, back on earth...

[cammi]

a military ship was spotted outside Los Santos.....

[universetwisters]

...Called the S.S. Edmund Fitzgerald...

[lee_atsugai]

And launching an all-on-attack to hundreds of people at Santa Maria Beach, when...

[universetwisters]

...Gordon Lightfoot comes out of nowhere, who thought he sunk the ship back in 1975 to capitalize on a song about it, angrily points at the Edmund Fitzgerald and says...

[lee_atsugai]

..."What the f*ck!? I thought I sunk that thing already!? They've built it again! Sh*t!" Yelled Gordon, suddenly...

[universetwisters]

...The Platypus was nearing the Edmund Fitzgerald. However, the capitan was in the cabins, being whipped by a transvestite hooker, so the ship was unmanned, and headed right towards the Fitzgerald...