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You want someone to edit it? I'll just give my two cents for now, don't feel like it, sorry bro.
More of a history lesson than an actual story. Very exposition-al. A few grammar mistakes but you don't seem to speak English so I'll let it slip. Although, I have to say the first paragraph is roughly accurate to the real history of the Aztecs, so I don't know whether you actually looked up Aztec history or not. But still, this isn't a story, its a history book. Focus on characters, plot etc!
Do you know what would make a good story, according to Aztec legend? The Aztecs were slaves under the Toltecs after they had been defeated but they were still a nuisance. So the Lord of Culhuacan city sent them away to fight a powerful enemy, sure they'd be defeated in battle. But the Aztecs returned, causing the Lord to accuse them of running away and being cowards. The Aztec warriors opened sacks and poured mountains of human ears all over the Lords feet, showing they had beaten the enemy4. That's how the Aztecs proved their worth and were given land. IMO, building a story around that event would be good, maybe from the viewpoint of one warrior as he contemplates the future. I don't know, just w*nking on now.
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