[SlickSpencer8]

You probably thinking, oh great another person talking about their sh*t life. If you are then ignore this topic and move to a different one.

Anyways, I'm 19 and I don't have job. But, I just feel like a puppy lost in the middle of the road and that cars are crashing to me from each direction and their coming fast. I have been trying to get jobs here and their and I want some cash to spend on my own will. And I want to join the military (Coast Guard) and the ASVAB score is a 50 and when I took it the first time, I got a 12. I want to join the military so have money so I can buy a car, house, ETC.. But with that I just have so much distractions that i feel like I can't leave like my computer, video games, TV. and I just can't sit down and actually study and I don't have enough money to get a tutor and I don't have actual friends that can help me or would understand. With that being said, I am very poor at math and spelling.

And I just don't know what to do as a career. I mean, I hate school as it is and I don't want to go back once I finish high school here soon (I am a senior) and I know my family can only support me for so much longer before I am out in the real world. And with that, I just don't have any encouragement. Like the only encouragement I really have is music and it's lyrics, but rather then that, it's still not enough. And all I really do for my life is basically sit around and play games and be lazy, I feel that I'm some no life person (Which I am) And the only friends I have is on Xbox then in my real life, I feel like I can explain more to them and they can understand what I am saying rather then the actual friends in my real life.

And I just want a girlfriend that can understand my life and hug when I am doubtful, but all these girls nowadays are just looking at men for their 6 packs and strong arms and getting jobs at McDonald's so they have some cash they can spend on them. I mean it's all about money and not about love. And I only had three girlfriends (Go ahead and laugh, I can care less) I'm just stuck and going around in circles. Please any suggestions or help would be nice.

Thanks,
Spencer

[Eagles]

We can't escape from some things in our life. If we want to be someone, we have to put our head in the right place, think and learn, with or without help, about how our life will be and how it will work.

As I don't know much about your life, I suggest that you find something alternative to do. If you don't like to study but you like music, try to learn some instrument.
The internet is an amazing place. Even if some people say it can ruin your life, it can still make you a better person. Stop playing Xbox for a while and search for some interesting and different things that you never thought you could be looking for. Did you ever thought about being an artist? Take a look at deviantArt, for example. You can't say that you don't like something if you never experienced it.

I'm still 17 and I'm still searching for a meaning to life. I had the same problems you have - my friends on Xbox sometimes were more reliable than some friends in real life -, and until the last month I was confused about what I should do in college. I was pointing to the Advertising area, but then I looked back to my childhood and remembered that I always liked to make some images in Photoshop and how I started to learn about other programs.
Now I'm making a technical course on the 3D area and I'm liking it a lot. I know that it will be hard to earn some real money with this, but nothing is impossible, and I'll run my life with happiness and strength of will to finally leave my parents house.

Don't know if it helped, but I just thought that sharing my own feelings would help. Good luck.

[El_Diablo]

QUOTE (SlickSpencer8 @ Friday, Apr 6 2012, 17:55)

I'm 19 and I don't have job

there's your problem.

[zoo3891]

You're right, your life is sh*t. You know who's fault that is? Yours.

From what you type I can see that you're a loser. You scored low on your entry test, and you want to get in to the military with as little work as possible. Not only are you a loser, but you're also really lazy.

The problem is your laziness, and if you want to better yourself you have to get of your ass and study. I'm going to say this though, and you might tell yourself "I'll do it," but you're not going to, you're just going to go on and play video games, and maybe watch some television. For your life to improve past being like the losers who live off their family and do what you do all day you have to prove me wrong. You have to break out from just being the average person, and become the outstanding person.

Go look up guides to bettering yourself, and maybe read some self-help books. They don't usually do anything except inspire people, but that's healthy, you need to be inspired to break those habits. After you feel inspired don't say "I'll do all this work tomorrow," by then you aren't going to be inspired, and you're going to be the same guy you were yesterday. You have to study all day, and maybe you'll like it, and maybe you won't, but if you want to pass that test and do something with your life you have to push through it.

(That probably sucked compared to other motivational essays, but I tried)

[VoiceoftheVoiceless]

QUOTE (zoo3891 @ Friday, Apr 6 2012, 20:27)

You're right, your life is sh*t. You know who's fault that is? Yours. From what you type I can see that you're a loser. You scored low on your entry test, and you want to get in to the military with as little work as possible. Not only are you a loser, but you're also really lazy. The problem is your laziness, and if you want to better yourself you have to get of your ass and study. I'm going to say this though, and you might tell yourself "I'll do it," but you're not going to, you're just going to go on and play video games, and maybe watch some television. For your life to improve past being like the losers who live off their family and do what you do all day you have to prove me wrong. You have to break out from just being the average person, and become the outstanding person. Go look up guides to bettering yourself, and maybe read some self-help books. They don't usually do anything except inspire people, but that's healthy, you need to be inspired to break those habits. After you feel inspired don't say "I'll do all this work tomorrow," by then you aren't going to be inspired, and you're going to be the same guy you were yesterday. You have to study all day, and maybe you'll like it, and maybe you won't, but if you want to pass that test and do something with your life you have to push through it. (That probably sucked compared to other motivational essays, but I tried)

Your'e supposed to encourage him, not put him the f*ck down! man some people are cold.

[SlickSpencer8]

QUOTE (zoo3891 @ Saturday, Apr 7 2012, 01:27)

You're right, your life is sh*t. You know who's fault that is? Yours.

Thanks for pointing that out. I kinda realized that it's my own fault, and I wasn't blaming anyone.

@Eagles Thanks, I did some art, and photoshop stuff in my classes and I enjoyed that, but it just doesn't seek my interest. I mean I'm more of a outgoing person and like to get hands on and repair things.

[TEoS]

If you got a 12 on the ASVAB you probably shouldn't be in any type of position where people's lives will be in your hands.

Anyway, you seem to know what your problem is. Your self-fueled pity party isn't going to help you at all.

[Jeeebuuus]

Alright, first thing. Turn off the computer/tv and get your ass out the door and jog two miles. Go home and drink some water(at least 12 oz.). Second, get a part time job, at least, while your in school. If not in school work full time. Hold off on college/military at least for two years untill you have more work ethic and are in better shape all around. Third, chicks dig confidence, as South Park has taught me. Read books that gives you advice on being the best you can be. And finally, if you are ever feeling down just think that it could ALWAYS be worse. You could lose your legs in a freak car accident and have to be in a chair for the rest of your life. Picture that real hard about how difficult your day to day life could be. Then realise you don't have it so bad. Thats Dr. Jeeebuuus' recommendation. Good day.

[Slamman]

No one can blame you for having a goal at least, but IT'S HELL out there, despite the jobs report just in today and the year's upward swing. I saw a bar chart on the news showing the jobs losses and gains and it's truly STAGGERING just how bad the past 4 years have been, trust me, there are many people who are at their wits end in this mess, the rest don't get it.

[agent17]

At least you didn't waste money on extended education. Think of all of the people with worthless degrees and tens-of-thousands of dollars in accumulated debt. Compared to them you are light years ahead.

[rhyn]

Life is about finding happiness in what you have and doing what you feel passionate about. If you want to join the military purely to aquire currency then you are barking up the wrong tree my friend. You can obviously live your life whatever way you want but you don't have to give it up in exchange for things, things don't make people happy. It's the journey that's the good part, not the destination. You don't get on a rollercoaster to get to the end of the track.

[SlickSpencer8]

I want to thank most of you guys for the engorgement and you stories and your thoughts and truths. It does help and hopefully I can take this in. Really.

[SlickSpencer8]

QUOTE (TEoS @ Saturday, Apr 7 2012, 01:53)

If you got a 12 on the ASVAB you probably shouldn't be in any type of position where people's lives will be in your hands. Anyway, you seem to know what your problem is. Your self-fueled pity party isn't going to help you at all.

I mean a test that just shows your math, science, and writing skills does not necessarily show that I'm not right for a physical terms. It's about showing dedication, responsibility, and that you can do that job correctly.

[Stinky12]

Gamble your life just to get a pay check so you can buy a car? That's the most idiotic decision ever made. If you want to serve your country, then it's something else.
At 19 why don't you start off small, like go work at McDonald's or other franchise fast food restaurants. It may sound crappy, but who know maybe one day you will get to
own one of your own McDonald's franchise and become rich. According to the web, the average profit for McDonald's (after all other expenses and employee pay checks) is $2.2 million. Corporate made $24 billion as of 2010.
You have to start from the first step and work your way up the corporate ladder.

[TinTinn]

QUOTE (El_Diablo @ Saturday, Apr 7 2012, 01:25)

QUOTE (SlickSpencer8 @ Friday, Apr 6 2012, 17:55) I'm 19 and I don't have job there's your problem.

Firstly, you need to leave if you have nothing sympathetic to say.


Back on topic, you are caught up with everything. You need to stop that, you need to rest all these thoughts. You have way too much happening in your physical world and your mental world. Drop every thought, turn off every electronic device, it sounds dramatic, I know, after that, get a pen and paper and start writing future plans. You may not think it helps, but let out your thoughts on that piece of paper, all your thoughts and emotions on the world and all your hopes and dreams; just pour all of it onto that paper through your mind and the pen.

After finished writing everything you can down, pin in somewhere in your room, or keep it in a folder if you don't want anyone to see it. Reflect on what you've written as it's the closest and most meaningful thing you can hear; you can only hear what you want to hear. Start at the very top of the list, whatever that bothering thought it may be, or even a future plan, start working on it. For example, it might say, 'Find a decent job', start looking around for jobs locally, just to get some money in your wallet. Everyday, write down your process on what you've been planning and what you've been reflecting on what you have written. This may take a month to complete, 5 months, 6 months, a whole year, it is irrelevant on how long it takes you to finish it, but keep working at it until every single little thought on that list has been conquered. Last thing, have faith in yourself and listen to the people around you, they care you the most in the world.

[Ryan]

Life can be hard at times. It's just, well, life. My interpretation of what you posted though is that you basically seem to think things are just going to come to you. Obviously not so. You need to work for the things you want. You want to join the USCG? It's great that you can meet the physical requirements, but that's only half of it. You obviously need to work on the other things though. Doing so will only increase your chances at doing better. I'm sure it doesn't sound too fun, but putting in the extra effort now to get into the USCG is likely going to pay off much better in the long run than taking the easy road and going and working at McDonalds for the rest of your life.

And if you think you have it bad, consider my position right now. I'm doing doing 5 years of university at a rate of about $15,000 a year. By the time I graduate in 3 years, I'll be over $60,000 in debt, and I have no idea what to do after I graduate.

[El_Diablo]

QUOTE (TinTinn @ Friday, Apr 6 2012, 20:48)

you need to leave if you have nothing sympathetic to say.

no I don't.
this is a public forum and I haven't broken any rules.

I read the guys post and gave my reply.
I don't care if it comes off as sympathetic or not because it's honest, sincere, and (most importantly) true.

I gave him the best advice here.
you guys can write paragraphs about self-help techniques all you want, but ultimately it all boils down to getting out there and making something of your life.
no one ever got anywhere in this world by sitting home alone.

and that all starts with... drum roll please...

getting a job.

[VoiceoftheVoiceless]

Wow, you guys are trolls.

[Icarus]

QUOTE (VoiceoftheVoiceless @ Friday, Apr 6 2012, 22:37)

Wow, you guys are trolls.

How? The OP asked for advice and he got it.

To be cliché: "the truth hurts."

[canttakemyid]

Currently in college; while drunk and high a little but not too impaired, a few of my friends started talking about some profound things. I have a friend who said something pretty profound (a quote he repeated). One thing he said about life tonight is very relevant to what you have posted.

He told me something along the lines of, "free won't is as powerful as free will at times." It was puzzling at first until he explained that sometimes free will/what you want to do (in your case video games and disengagement) is actually a limiting factor in life despite the immediate pleasure it brings. He expanded by saying the ability to restrain from what at first seems to be a pleasure leads to new plateaus and satisfaction in life as free will leads to insatiable desires. Restraint can be very satisfying.

*Explore your life without the distractions. Even if this means asking someone to revoke your video games and what ever else you can honestly recognize as a distraction and focus on your goals. If you are frustrated with life, use music (which you love) to channel your frustration into inspiration in life. When things get hard, trust me; music will help you pull through.

As For the USCG: It takes hard work. Hard work isn't easy; that's why it is 'hard' (but man is it satisfying). When you feel that you can't go on in training, just keep training until it hurts. When it hurts, just remember that pain is temporary; pride is forever.