[shiva s]

The 9th mission has been released. This is the first mission of Chapter 2. Play the first chapter before you play this. The chapter 2 is full and fully about the life of Garry Bottom in los santos. So, don't miss it. Play and don't forget to give feedbacks. Negative feedbacks are much appericiated than positive feedbacks.

[shiva s]

The 10th mission has been released. Sorry for the delayed release but I'd been busy lately. As always, negative feedbacks are much appericiated than positive feedbacks. Check the main post for the link or get it here
There's a strange bug in this mission. I'm sorry but I have no idea how it occured.

[Nitesh aka AAAAAAA]

Played the whole of chapter.

You already got me interested from the first cutscenes in the first mission.

I was really impressed with the story. At first I was wondering the relation between what was being shown in the cutscenes and the Wade but got the connection when I played the mission where that guy in the store started calling him Garry Bottom. By the way, I already figured out from that point that Garry and Wade are going to look alike. And then Wade getting the hold of Garry's daughter was a good twist.

In the first mission, I don't think it made sense to keep three stars. Two would have been enough imo. I mean, helicopters chasing someone who has only conned some people?

The gameplay was really great too. You used so many different varieties of mission.

The second mission of stealing that car was really good. I found the packer by accident when that guard saw me and I started running to save my life and used it to kill him and get to the car.

In the mission where the landlord tells us to beat down that gang, the enemies had too much of HP. It got boring after a while. And on top of that the friend actors had really low health and died easily thereby failings the mission. So they were of no help as I had to make sure the enemies didn't reach them.

Also that mission where I had to jump on the truck was creative, though I never managed to do that. I just followed it.

The mission I found really difficult was the one where I am supposed to leave the girl in the truck and bring it back to the hideout. I took a lot of tries to complete that one. I think the time limit was a bit short.

You really made good use cutscenes. A lot of effort was put in that.

(EDIT)I also liked that part in the last mission where Garry got a stroke and the rain saved him. It was a creative idea you used. I also liked the whole of that mission. It was really good.

Keep up the great work. Going to continue with more missions later.

This post has been edited by Nitesh aka AAAAAAA on Monday, Mar 12 2012, 14:30

[shiva s]

Thanks a lot for your feedbacks, Nitesh. I'm sorry for the 3 stars and the high actor health. I put a lot of efforts in making these missions especially the 8th one. Don't worry, more puzzles are on their way. Glad you liked my missions. Thanks once again. I know, you can't step on the truck's roof for the first try. Even, I failed a lot of time. Waiting for more feedbacks from you. Thanks a lot, man.

[shiva s]

Sorry for the double post.
But, here's a video review by Aznkei:

[shiva s]

The 11th mission has been released. Sorry again for the delayed release. Play and don't forget to give feedbacks. Negative feedbacks are much appericiated than positive feedbacks. Here's the linkhttp://dyom.gtagames.nl/?act=show&id=18000

[shiva s]

The 12th mission has been released. Play and give feedbacks. Negative feedbacks are much appericiated than positive feedbacks. I'd like to hear some critics too.
I've decided to finish Chapter 2 today. I'm not sure if I can do it but I'll try my best.

[shiva s]

The 13th mission has been released. Play and give me feedbacks. As always, negative feedbacks are much appericiated than positive feedbacks.

[Mati]

QUOTE

Special thanks to those who're gonna pay my missionpack.

Just letting you know that I'll play trough the first chapter today. Don't expect more money on your bank account though.

[yo-g]

Nice, a mission pack really nice compliments to the plot
even though certain missions could be designed better

But all in all a good story worthy of a feedback

[WillBe]

This is great storyline. And I have a suggestion - maybe someone will create the Garry's daughter model, because it's little stupid playing with "invincible" girl.

PS. Sorry for my bad english, 'cause I'm Polish.

[shiva s]

@Mati That's really a good news for me, man. Waiting eagerly for your feedbacks. I'd appericiate each and every single critics you have for me.
@Yo-g Thanks for your feedbacks, man. Don't worry, I'll improve my designing soon.
@Willbe Thanks a lot, man. Yeah, it may seem a little stupid but I had no other way than that. Thanks once again. Like to hear more from you. Btw, your english is clear and understandable. Your english is good. Don't worry.

This post has been edited by shiva s on Monday, Apr 2 2012, 12:52

[Mati]

You still don't get that I pointed out a typo? Normally I'm not a grammar nazi but it sounded pretty funny with the ''pay'' instead of ''play''.

Anyway, I've finished the first chapter. Here's what I think of it.

+ Great story with interesting characters.
+ Nice gameplay ideas.
+ Mission lengths.
+ Many cutscenes.
+ A whole bunch of well created scenes (like guys falling off buildings etc.)
+ Two stories being told at once.
+ Good action even without gunfire.

- A few writing mistakes.
- The humor is sometimes a bit childish.
- At times, the characters seem somewhat stupid.
- Dialogue could be a bit better.

So overall, I liked it a lot. The positive points speak for themselves so I don't really need to explain them (you're free to ask if you don't understand though) but I'll explain you the negative points.

1. Writing mistakes. Kinda speaks for itself. There aren't that many grammar mistakes though. It's just that sometimes it feels like you've chosen the wrong words.

2. Childish Humor. Don't get me wrong, the few jokes that you put in it aren't bad. Just not really mature. For example, The Barrack Obama question. One of the people didn't know the answer. I mean, come on. In my opinion, this simply wasn't funny. And yes, I tried to laugh. Just try to make it a bit more mature.

3. Dumb characters. Now I don't have anything against some characters that act like idiots here and then, but not if they're the protagonist! What did he even think when he got rid of the girl? He knew about the cop. Such a stupid mistake could only happen in some kind of cartoon. Again, try to be a bit more mature. I wouldn't have anything against it if the antagonists or some neutral character would be a bit dumb though, that could be funny to see them fail.

4. Dialogue. It's OK, it's not bad but still, it could be a bit better.


Remember that points 2 and 3 are just my personal opinion. If the others like it then don't change it.

Well done, so far I'd give it a 7.5/10

[shiva s]

I'm really excited, man. I never expected that I will get feedbacks from you.
Now, I will answer all your question.
Thanks for all your positive points. I'm glag you liked it.
The negative points you gave me were really helpful. Thanks. Here's my answers.
1. Yes, I will improve in my writings soon. I'm still learning better english so I may commit some spelling mistakes here and there.
2. I realise now it is childish. But, I thought, it'd add a good dosage o humour. But, since you said it sounds childish, I'll try to be mature in adding humours. Thanks for pointing out.
3.Yea, I know the Wade and Darren are dumb because they are local crooks and I wanted them to be assholes. But, it is not in the case of Garry Bottom. You'll find out how serious he is, if you play chapter 2.
4. Yeah, I've some problems in making long dialogues but I will improve soon.
Thanks for your honest rating.
I really wanna hear more critics from you though the feedbacks you gave above are not critics. It was really helpful to me. Thanks once again, man. I'm waiting for your feedbacks of chapter 2.

[Mati]

No problem, I'm going to check out the 2nd chapter soon.

You're right about the 3rd point, I didn't look at them this way.

[shiva s]

Thanks, man. Waiting for your feedbacks then. Just don't forget to add some negative points.

[shiva s]

The 14th mission has been released. Play and give feedbacks. Negative feedbacks are much appericiated than positive feedbacks. Make sure you don't get too close while chasing the suspect in this mission.
Here's the link
http://dyom.gtagames.nl/?act=show&id=18276

[Arejai]

I'll give a review/feedback after you completed the chapter 2.
Here's an example: http://www.gtaforums.com/index.php?showtop...st&p=1061168301

[shiva s]

QUOTE (Arejai @ Friday, Apr 6 2012, 10:19)

I'll give a review/feedback after you completed the chapter 2. Here's an example: http://www.gtaforums.com/index.php?showtop...st&p=1061168301

Hey, thanks a lot, man. Can't wait for your awesome reviews and feedbacks.

[shiva s]

The 15th mission has been released. Here it is
http://dyom.gtagames.nl/?act=show&id=18317
Only one more mission to go and Chapter 2 is over. Already started working on the 16 th mission. Negative feedbacks are much appericiated than positive feedbacks.
Just wanted to ask, anyone interested in making a trailer for this?