[The_Anti-tragedy]

QUOTE (AlexGTAGamer @ Wednesday, Aug 8 2012, 19:34)

2. Some LCPD officers knock on the door saying that the neighbours are complaining about the noise, but they then join the party as well.

Officer: Oh sh*t, the 69th page is over already? Well at least we can celebrate the 70th page!
Niko: IT'S DA 70TH PAGE! JAH!
Roman: JAJAJAJAJAJA!
Officer: I shouldn't have had all those donuts... *blahgglhah!*
The officer's movements plus the donuts he had earlier create a stomach bomb so he pukes a lot, all over CJ.
CJ: Damn, I just had this washed, fool!
Terry: Ha! I can drink more then you can, Clay!
Clay: I don't think so!
Clay finishes 3/4 of a full bottle of champagne. Terry finishes all of it.
Terry: Oh yeah! I [insert racial slur here]! Hahahaha!
Johnny: Terry, you can't say that!
Two police officers drop Terry into a bush below. Terry then gets ran over by a car in the street.
Armando: Eh, you know what's wrong about this party? There's no girls!
Roman: I'll call Mallorie!
Niko: And I'll call Kate, Elizabeta, Carmen, Alex, and Kiki!
Johnny: And I'll call Ashley!
Officer: As an officer of authority, I declare the challenge of the coke-snorting!
Johnny goes outside and busts a drug deal to get the people at the party 20 tons of cocaine. He needed a truck to carry it all. By this time, all the girls have arrived, along with some hookers. Johnny and Luis do some girls in the toilet taking turns. Yusuf does a hooker, Armando and Henrique have a fist-fight over Carmen, Claude is being given a lap-dance by a hooker (Claude: ), and Niko is making out with Kate and Roman is making out with Mallorie. Ashley and Johnny do some coke, and break the radio. It falls on Roman, who then gets electrocuted by getting sperm all over his hand. Roman dies while everyone screams in terror. Niko, Johnny, Luis, Clay, Angus, Yusuf, Armando, Henrique, three police officers, Claude, CJ, Kate, Carmen, Alex, Kiki, Mallorie, Ashley, and Elziabeta all keep dancing and playing games until the sun don't shine. Everyone then goes home. Niko, Mallorie, Angus, Luis, Armando, and Henrique stay at the petnhouse to watch the Lion King. Johnny takes Clay and Ashley home, but because he's high on cocaine, when they're in Alderney...
1. They go on Plumbers Skyway and fall off the highway.
2. Ashley dodges a huge truck, and Clay pats her on the shoulder, but she gets pushed off the skyway. We now follow her.
3. Clay gets yelled a racial slur by a truck driver, he then gets off his chopper to fight. A Mexican stand-off ensues.
4. A mysterious helicopter with [insert character here] inside starts following them.

This post has been edited by The_Anti-tragedy on Wednesday, Aug 8 2012, 20:20

[Driftking120]

4. A mysterious helicopter with [insert character here] inside starts following them.
A mysterious helicopter with Eddie Low and Charles inside starts following them.
*Meanwhile at the algongiun hospital*
Little Jacob: Niko, me breda, johnny on the phone, say he got some rudeboys following him in a chopper.
Niko: Wha? *LJ hands niko the phone* Hello? Johnny are you their? Hello? *Gunfire is heard over the phone* Damn it! Gotta go Jacob!
*Niko steals a lime green manana, and begins to hunt down Johnny before receiving a mysterious phone call*
"Meet you on algonguin's westside, don't be late*hung up tone*"
what happens next?
1. Niko meets with Charles and eddie on the westside who want 1 million dollars in under 48 hours, Niko then kicks Charles in his balls saying he is a nutjob (see what I did there?)
2. Niko's car crashes into a manure truck
3. Dakota, who is hiding in the trunk of the car, kicks the trunk open, but ends up falling out of the car
4. a flying rat hits niko's car's grill which causes the airbags to deploy
5. {Insert something wacky here}

This post has been edited by Driftking120 on Wednesday, Aug 8 2012, 20:58

[The_Anti-tragedy]

QUOTE (Driftking120 @ Wednesday, Aug 8 2012, 20:49)

2. Niko's car crashes into a manure truck

Niko: Oh sh*t! It's not funny on the other side!
Niko steals a car and heads for Westside Algonquin.
Meanwhile in Niko's penthouse, Mallorie, Armando, Henrique, Angus, and Luis are enjoying the Lion King.
Mallorie: I never knew that Scar dies!
Henrique: Hey Mallorie, want to cheat on Roman with me?
Luis: Uh H, what's your last name?
Henrique: Bardas.
Mallorie: Hey my surname's Bardas too.
Henrique: ...
Mallorie:
Henrique: ... *blahghalhuuh!*
Henrique pukes all over the floor, melting the TV somehow.
Angus: Aww, the movie's ruined!
... ... The five all have a five-some. Meanwhile for Niko, he reaches the rendevous point. Niko kicks Charles in the balls.
Niko: F*ck you you nutjob!
Dakota pops out of the trunk but falls out once she ambushes the meeting. Eddie headshots her.
Niko: I've come for Johnny, Clay, and Ashley.
A car comes with a goon and the three friends. A flying rat lands on the grill and the car's airbag deploys. The car drives over into the water. Another goon takes Johnny, Clay, and Ashley somewhere. Eddie Low...
1. Leads Niko to them.
2. Pulls out a gun.
3. Gets Charles to kick him in the balls.
4. Kicks Niko in the balls.

[Driftking120]

3. Gets Charles to kick him in the balls.
"OW! aw that's it, your getting it now!" *Niko kicks eddie in the balls and then wrestles with him trying to steal his AK47, suddenly the gun goes off shooting Charles balls clean off*
"OUCH! my balls, my beautiful 6 year old balls!" Yells Charles in pain
*Charles, now very upset with niko, jumps on him while he is still wrestling with eddie, this causes the guns trigger to be caught on Charles clothes, somehow managing to shoot johnny and clay all in the balls and with Ashley's ear being shot*
*Charles faints from losing a lot of nut blood and niko smashing the AK47 across eddie's forehead, in the process, the gun going off and headshoting the remaining thug*
*Niko then locks Charles and eddies bodies in the trunk of his purple ingot*
what happens next?
1. niko takes johnny and clay and Ashley to the hospital to have nut surgery
2. Johnny complains about how he won't be able to get laid for a couple of weeks
3. Ashley yells "WUT?" because she was shot in the ear

[The_Anti-tragedy]

QUOTE (Driftking120 @ Wednesday, Aug 8 2012, 23:41)

2. Johnny complains about how he won't be able to get laid for a couple of weeks

Johnny: Ahh! I have Blue Balls from lack of sex! And because I got shot!
Ashley: WWHHHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUT?
Niko crams Johnny inside his car. He then gets Clay and Ashley inside. They drive to the hospital in North Holland. Ashley gets plastic surgery for her ear, Johnny and Clay's nuts get replaced by a donor who is having a sex change. Johnny, Clay, and Ashley get on some motorcycles parked on the street. Unknowingly, they've seemed to have stolen bikes from the Angels of Death. Johnny shoots their back tires with his automatic pistol.
Johnny: Die, motherf*cker diiiiie!
Ashley: I heard that!
He sets one of the bikes on fire, so the driver dies of fire. Ashley and Clay bludgeon some bikers with a couple of baseball bats, knocking them off. They then ride to their Lost clubhouse in peace. Niko goes back to his penthouse in North Holland. There, he finds Mallorie, Henrique, Armando, and Luis are having a watergun fight.
Niko: So what did I miss?
Mallorie: Well, Henrique tried hitting on me, I had to hose vomit off the walls, and lastly, Angus fell out the window.
Mallorie shoots Luis with a watergun. They then switch to paintball guns. Roman, Brucie, Packie, Gerry, Francis, Derrick, Dwayne, Jacob, Badman, Kate, Vlad, Dimitri, Bulgarin, and Johnny all join the game.
1. Niko eliminates Armando and Luis but gets hit by Vlad.
2. Bulgarin and Dimitri team up and try to shoot the others.
3. Roman gets hit three times but his fatness reflects the paintballs to hit back.
4. Mallorie and Kate hit Johnny and Henrique but Mallorie gets hit by Dwayne.
5. Brucie hits Luis but gets hit by Niko who also hits Francis.

[billy james]

5. Brucie hits Luis but gets hit by Niko who also hits Francis.

(Niko) I'm unstoppable hahahaha
Everyone then decide to team up and give Niko "The John Marsten Treatment", Niko is shot so much that the force pushes him off the roof and falls to the ground and dies, he respawns at the North Holland hospital.

(Niko) I will get my REVENGE!!!!
He then gets a paintball version of a Minigun filled with paint and heads back to the apartment and....
1) Starts Shooting everyone there.
2) No one's there
3) They team up again and shoot him
4) (Incert crazy/strange thing here)


BTW Congrats to Alex for the 200 in the CS

This post has been edited by billy james on Thursday, Aug 9 2012, 05:16

[MarijuanaMonkey]

QUOTE (billy james @ Thursday, Aug 9 2012, 05:11)

4) (Incert crazy/strange thing here)

By the time, Niko enters the livingroom, a paintball is thrown by Packie to Johnny new-surgery floppy balls, Johnny's explode and his all spream spreads all over the room. Kate, Ashley, Mallorie, Carmen, Alex, Michelle, Kiki and Joni starts to lick Johnny's "yummy yummy" sperm.

Johnny: Uuuv, f*ck! MY BALLS! MY WONDERFUL BALLS! NOW WHAT I AM GONNA DO WITHOUT MY BALLS?
Luis: Poor guy. If this happened to me, I would definitely suicied.
Johnny: Uhh, I am gonna kill myself.
Luis: Wise guy.
Niko: Johnny! Calm down! Maybe you should get along to living without balls. Cuz always something happens to your balls.

Johnny cries over and walks away from the penthouse.

Niko: Hey, let's go to Cluckin' Bell.
Everyone (except Niko): Yay!

After the scene we see is:

1. Johnny gets armed and goes to the hospital for making surgeries pay compensation for his balls.
2. Kate, Ashley, Mallorie, Carmen, Alex, Michelle, Kiki and Joni give birth at the Cluckin' Bell because of Johnny's sperm.
3. Bruceminators are during a hit on Cluckin' Bell branch Niko and friends eat at.
4. Roman pukes 100 Bleeders he ate and all restaurant is covered with puke.
5. Johnny concedes to live without balls, so he goes to a sex change surgery.

This post has been edited by MarijuanaMonkey on Thursday, Aug 9 2012, 14:56

[The_Anti-tragedy]

QUOTE (MarijuanaMonkey @ Thursday, Aug 9 2012, 14:19)

4. Roman pukes 100 Bleeders he ate and all restaurant is covered with puke.

Everyone else pukes because of the smell of puke, and the restrooms are covered in puke when all the girls try to go to the toilet to puke. Niko doesn't really feel like puking since he hasn't eaten his meal yet.
Niko: I'm just going to get some water.
Niko grabs a water bottle from someone's table and tries to open it up.
Niko: Damn these super hard-to-open water bottles!
Brucie: NB, let me try!
Brucie who is cracked up on steroids tries to open the water bottle.
Roman: Even the mighty Brucie can't open up the bottle? *blaghagh!*
Dimitri and Bulgarin run out of the restaurant due to so much vomit on their heads. A splooge of puke lands on the water bottle cap, and opens it. Everyone cleans up the puke in the restaurant, some puking in the process. Everyone then has their own party there. Armando does Carmen, Henrique does Kiki, Brucie does Alex, Luis does Joni, Jacob does Elizabeta, Dwayne does Michelle, Packie, Gerry, Francis, Derrick, Vlad, and Badman all do Ashley. Niko does Kate and Roman does Mallorie.
Joni: I've never seen you take steroids before so why do you have a small wanger?
Luis: SHUT UP! ahuhuh! *Luis cries out of the stall, exposing his penis to everyone*
Most of the girls puke, the guys, well they...
1. Try to shoot at it
2. Vlad somehow gets attracted to it
3. Commit suicide
4. Stare. Just, stare.

[MarijuanaMonkey]

QUOTE (The_Anti-tragedy @ Thursday, Aug 9 2012, 15:29)

4. Stare. Just, stare.

Girls looks at Luis' penis in "WTF" style in silence for a long while. And after Ashley:

Ashley: Hey, girls. Francis has a real elephant penis.
Mallorie: Really?
Ashley: Yeah! The biggest bulge I've ever seen.

So all the girls (except Ashley) leave their partners and jump on Francis.

Francis: Oh sh*t! I guess it's what they called "paradise".

All the guys (except Francis) stand up in sorrow and Niko suggests:

Niko: Hey! Get tons of Mexico, go to a strip club and snort it all.
All Guys (except Niko): Yay!

While Niko and dudes walking down Bohan, they recognize a drug dealer looking man.

Roman: This guy seems like a dust seller, Niko.
Niko: Shut up, Roman.

Niko and buddies approach the man and ask him if he got coke.

Niko: You got some Mexico, amigo?
Drug Dealer: Suuure. I've Mexico, Bolivia, Colombia whatever you call.
Niko: 'kay. Give us some.

Drug Dealer zips off his coat filled with coke packs.

Drug Dealer: Dose it, smooth it.
Niko: Cost?
Drug Dealer: Half million.
Packie: Dude. You sell it too costy. Me and brothers sell it cheaper on Purgatory.
Drug Dealer: It's Bohan down there.

So guys produce their weapons and aim it to drug dealer. Drug dealer still stands on his high price, so he's introduced a form of Tony Montana execution.

Drug Dealer: Hey, how'd you like dat? Huh? You f*ckin' maricón! Hey! You think you can take me? You need a f*ckin' army if you're gonna take me! You hear?! C'mon! I'll take you all to f*ckin' Hell! Come on! Come on! Come to me! Okay! Who you think you f*ckin' with? I'm Tony Montana! You f*ck with me, you f*ckin' with the best! [while being shot repeatedly] Come on! I'm still standin', huh! f*ck! Come on! Go ahead! I take your f*ckin' bullet! Come on! I take your f*ckin' bullets! You think you kill me with bullets? I take your f*ckin' bullets! Go ahead!
Derrick: Uhh, man. C'mon.
Jacob: Bumbaclot.

Jacob shoots drug dealer in the back with a shotgun.

Niko: Good lad, Jacob. Now let's take his coat and join our Mexico.

Niko wears the coat until they go to The Triangle Club. After they enter, they sit on a table, Niko puts off his coat and they join tons of Mexico out there. A mysterious transvestite approaches Niko and buddies' table and it's JOHNNY. Dum! Dum! Dum! (adrenaline theme).

Johnny: Wanna have a lusty night, bad boy?
Niko: Johnny, what the f*ck?
Packie: sh*t! Is it Johnny?
Luis: Johnny, what happened to you, bro?
Johnny: Whacchou' looking at? My balls exploded, so I need to get along a life without balls. The Lost kicked me out of the gang. They said they wanted a leader with balls. So I needed money, I've problems.
Roman: No money, mo problems ehh?
Jacob: Poor my breda.
Niko: Err... You want coke?
Johnny: Sure thing, Nicky.

Johnny snorts half of the coke on the table, passes out and falls out on the chair.

Niko: R.I.P Johnny Boy. Hey let's:

1. Go bowling.
2. Go iceskating.
3. Buy porn and jerk off.
4. Pay strippers to get laid with us (Niko and friends)
5. Go bungeejumping.
6. Go to Internet Cafe and play Counter Strike on LAN.
7. Start Loot and Wank.

This post has been edited by MarijuanaMonkey on Thursday, Aug 9 2012, 16:34

[The_Anti-tragedy]

QUOTE (MarijuanaMonkey @ Thursday, Aug 9 2012, 16:29)

4. Pay strippers to get laid with us (Niko and friends)

Niko, Roman, Brucie, Packie, Dwayne, Jacob, Badman, Gerry, Derrick, Vlad, Luis, Armando, and Henrique all get laid. They have a good time and all split up outside the strip club. Brucie and Roman go bowling, Dwayne goes home, Packie, Gerry, and Derrick go have a gang war, Jacob and Badman go to the Hombre Cafe, Luis, Armando, and Henrique go to a drug war, and Vlad go f*cks himself.
Niko: Ah, just a wonderful day in Liberty City.
Niko says as he cruises in Hove Beach in a Sabre. Niko hears a scream and then a gunshot. He pulls over at the Russian clothing store. Someone is robbing the store.
1. Niko springs into action.
2. Niko walks away.
3. Niko helps along.

[AlexGTAGamer]

QUOTE (The_Anti-tragedy @ Thursday, Aug 9 2012, 17:59)

1. Niko springs into action.

Shop owner: "Please, don't hurt me!"
Russian thug: "Shut up and give me the money in the register you old bag!"
Niko then kicks open the door.
Niko: "Stop fowl villain!"
Thug: "Don't try anything bud, or the old lady gets it!"
Shop owner: "Help!"
Niko acts fast and picks up a fire extinguisher by the door. He aims the nozzle at the crook and sprays him with foam.
Thug: *Blahglarg*
The crook stumbles backwards knocking over two clothing racks, and eventually trips over a footstool and crashes through some shelves.
Shop owner: "Thank you for saving me young man."
Niko: "Anytime citizen."
Niko accidentally sprays the lady with foam causing her to smash through the shop window.
Niko: "Oops. Sorry about that."
Niko steals the money in the cash register, throws the fire extinguisher outside which hits a passing postman, jumps back into his car, and speeds out of there.
Niko: "That could have gone much better. Stupid stupid stupid!" *Hits his head on the steering wheel causing the horn to go off*
When he finishes hitting his head, Niko realizes that he has driven off of the road and has mounted the pavement heading straight towards a shop on the Firefly Island boardwalk.
Niko: "SSSHHHIII-" *Smashes through a storefront*
Shop owner: "You stupid malaka!"
Niko jumps out of the car and runs onto the beach.

What happens next?
1. The Russian clothes shop owner who Niko sprayed with foam hits him with a walking stick.
2. The postman who Niko threw the fire extinguisher at chucks letters at him giving him paper cuts.
3. The crook who Niko prevented from robbing the store begins to shoot at him.
4. The owner of the store that Niko crashed his car into chases after him with an umbrella.
5. Niko meets someone on the beach.

EDIT:
And thanks billy james.

This post has been edited by AlexGTAGamer on Thursday, Aug 9 2012, 22:12

[The_Anti-tragedy]

QUOTE (AlexGTAGamer @ Thursday, Aug 9 2012, 22:09)

3. The crook who Niko prevented from robbing the store begins to shoot at him.

Niko: Oh sh*t! Ooh! Ah! OOH!
Niko almost dies but goes to a hotdog stand on the boardwalk to have a hot dog replenishing his health. Niko throws the stand at the crook. He falls off the stairs, and dies. Niko gets hit in the head by the owner of the store he crashed into. He also gets kicked in the balls by the postman.
Postman: That actually felt really satisfying. No wonder my wife does it so much!
Niko then gets sexually harassed by the shop owner making him retreat. He bumps into a slightly unattractive lady.
Lady: SO WHAT IF I'M DIFFERENT.
Niko runs away being chased by the old lady. The two shop owners and the postman keep following him. Niko steals a Rancher and runs over the lady and the clothing store owner. Niko gets chased by the shop owner and the postman in two Sentinals. Niko gets chased around South Broker but ends up at the Bus Depot under the Broker Bridge. Niko gets inside a bus. The two chasers jump out as Niko crushes their cars on fire. Niko runs the last two people but gets a two-star wanted level. Niko inside the bus...
1. Gets shot by the police a lot.
2. Tries to shake the cops.
3. F*cks the cops and does the swingset glitch.
4. Calls his friends for a ride around the city.

This post has been edited by The_Anti-tragedy on Thursday, Aug 9 2012, 22:45

[billy james]

2. Tries to shake the cops.

(Niko) I'm not going the jail in this country
Niko heads for a jump in front of him and hits it wrongly and does a barrel roll

(Niko) Do a barrel roll
He ends losing them and goes home to bed, when gets there he sees Mila
(Niko) I havn't you in ages, where did you go

(Mila) back home and now I'm back for good, so what did miss

(Niko)...
1) "A organisation named ETTVSO tried taking over Liberty City"
2) "Me and Roman went back in time to change the future"
3) "There was a racist war between black and white people"
4) (Something else that happen in the chain story that I can't remember)

Edit if you don't know who Mila is, read the whole Chain Story

This post has been edited by billy james on Thursday, Aug 9 2012, 23:11

[The_Anti-tragedy]

QUOTE (billy james @ Thursday, Aug 9 2012, 23:08)

1) "A organisation named ETTVSO tried taking over Liberty City" 2) "Me and Roman went back in time to change the future" 3) "There was a racist war between black and white people" 4) (Something else that happen in the chain story that I can't remember)

Basically all of the above.

Niko: ETTVSO tried taking over Liberty City, we had two paintball fights, Roman and I had to save the future, there were ripples in time, destroying the universe, we thrown various parties, lots of people including me had to lose the cops various times, my friends and I had to shake all of the major gangs in the city trying to kill us, we had a war with black people vs. white people, that's all I remember.
Mila: Oh my god. I missed a LOT.
Niko: Sh*t, why are the cops after us?
Mila: Oh yeah, I'm an illegal immigrant.
Niko: Let's get in this car!
Niko and Mila steal a car and try to lose the LCPD, FIB, and the NOOSE. They try losing the cops but only end up getting a bigger wanted level on account of Mila destroying Annihilators and Police choppers. They get on a bike when their car is too damaged to accelerate. They get chased by Police Bikes, Police Buffalos, Cavelcades, Banshees, Stingers, and even Police Hydras. Niko and Mila's bike almost gets destroyed when the Hydra blows up several cars next to them. Niko calls someone for backup.
1. He calls Brucie.
2. He calls Roman.
3. He calls Jacob.
4. He calls Dwayne.
5. He calls the LCPD.

[billy james]

4. He calls Dwayne.

(Niko) Dwayne, I need you and your crew to help me and a friend of mine out with some cops, can you come?

(Dwayne) Sure Niko I'll have me and my boys there in a bit

(Niko) Thank
Hangs up
(Mila) He coming

(Niko) I said thanks didn't I

(Mila) sorry, pass me that shotgun you got there
Niko passes the shotgun and Mila starts shooting at the cops, then after 3 Minute Dwayne and his boys so up and they start shooting at the po-po.
What happens Next????
1) They kill every cop there and carry on with there lives
2) They become outnumbered and Niko calls (Insert name here)
3) Dwayne get arrested for 47 Years
4) Johnny just happens to ride by and helps out


WOOOO HOOOOO 800 Posts for me, I'll be at 1000 in no time

[The_Anti-tragedy]

QUOTE (billy james @ Friday, Aug 10 2012, 09:15)

2) They become outnumbered and Niko calls (Insert name here) WOOOO HOOOOO 800 Posts for me, I'll be at 1000 in no time

1000 in no time, is that so?

Niko: Sh*t!
Dwayne: What!
Niko: I accidentally raised my wanted level! I was just trying the numbers I know!
Mila: Well now you need to lower your wanted level with a cheat.
Niko: I can't do that, it can't be intentional for me, it's one of the rules of this Chain Story!
Dwayne and his boys shoot down the cops whilst Niko calls Mayor Ochoa to help him after he went with Niko, Dan Silver, and Luis to destroy the bases of the ETTVSO. Ochoa's agents go to help Niko. Dwayne, Mila, and Dwayne's buddies shoot the police bikes and then the Police Stingers' engines. Ochoa's agents come to the rescue, killing many of the cops and the cop choppers using Streetsweepers with explosive shells. Niko gets them to the Algonquin bridge where they go on the pedestrian walkway, but get pursued by Police Bikes. Ochoa's agents shoot down all of the ten police bikes.
Niko: How are we going to lose this six-star wanted level?
Agent: Give us a sec. Get us to the West end of the island. Where this.
Mila: Parachutes?
Niko, the agents, Dwayne and his buddies, and Mila put on their parachutes. Niko gets them to the West Helipad in Algonquin after being mobbed by cops like a pariah. The seven all get in the Gold Buzzard and they blow up all of the police Mavericks and Annihilators. Niko takes them to the top of the sky, then they all parachute after the agents tell their plan. They all land outside the wanted circle. Niko tries to kiss Mila.
Mila: Uh, no thanks Niko. I'm with Dwayne now.
Niko: What? You bitch! And you sh*t!
Dwayne: Hey don't diss me man.
Dwayne and Mila go on a date leaving Niko furious.
1. Niko crashes their date.
2. Niko goes to bed plotting his revenge.
3. Niko crashes their date with a clown costume.
4. Niko tries to make Mila jealous.

[AlexGTAGamer]

QUOTE (The_Anti-tragedy @ Friday, Aug 10 2012, 16:30)

1. Niko crashes their date.

Dwayne takes Mila to the Split Sides comedy club. There Niko sneaks backstage and finds Ricky Gervais.
Niko: "Hey, Mr. Gervais, I'll pay you $5000 in cash if you tell some jokes to break up a couple sitting in the front row."
Gervais: *Sigh* "The things I do for money."
Niko sits on a stool by the bar and Ricky comes out onto the stage in-front of a sold out crowd.
Announcer: "Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome to the stage, Mr. Ricky Gervais!"
Crowd: *Cheers and applause*
Niko: "Go Ricky!"
Ricky: "Thank you, thank you, you're all too kind. Hey I've got a joke for you lot. Okay, so there was this black guy and an Eastern European woman-"
Mila: "Hey Dwayne, that sounds like us."
Dwayne: "Nah, it can't be."
But just before Ricky could tell his offensive joke, Frankie Boyle barges onto the stage.
Frankie: "Oi Ricky! I'm supposed to be on now!"
Gervais: "Get out of here you Scottish git."
Frankie: "Oh that's it, you're going to get it now you no talent, British prick!"
Gervais: "BRING IT ON!"
Ricky breaks a stool over Frankie's back and kicks him into the bar.
Niko: "Ricky, what are you doing!?"
Gervais: "The deal is off. Take this you kilt wearing bast-" *Gets bottle smashed in his face*
Dwayne: "We gotta get outta here!"
Mila: "But I'm enjoying this!"
Security soon breaks up the fight and orders everyone to leave the comedy club.
Mila: "I think that was really fun, you sure know how to impress a woman Dwayne."

Niko becomes infuriated and...
1. Shoots Ricky Gervais and Frankie Boyle.
2. Shoots Dwayne.
3. Pushes Dwayne into the road who is then hit by a bus.
4. Throws hot sauce on Dwayne from a nearby hotdog stand.
5. Goes home and makes a new plan.

This post has been edited by AlexGTAGamer on Friday, Aug 10 2012, 16:52

[The_Anti-tragedy]

QUOTE (AlexGTAGamer @ Friday, Aug 10 2012, 16:49)

3. Pushes Dwayne into the road who is then hit by a bus.

Mila: Dwayne! Niko!
Niko: AHHH!!
Niko throws Mila onto the street too, she gets hit by a bus and respawns a long way from Liberty City.
Niko: Damn it! I let my anger issues get the better of me!
Niko calls Zero to send him a machine that lets you travel through time. A few days later, Niko recieves his device in a mailbox. He goes back in time four days to when Dwayne, Mila, and him were at the Split Sides comedy club. Niko bumps into his former self trying to reach Ricky Gervais backstage.
Present Niko: Hey it's me, Niko. Zero gave me a time-travelling device and I need you to distract Frankie Boyle from coming on stage.
Past Niko: Okay!
Present Niko bribes Ricky Gervais $5000 while his past self distracts Frankie Boyle.
Announcer: Ladies and gentleman, please welcome to the stage Mr. Ricky Gervais!
Everyone applauds.
Ricky: Thank you, thank you, you're all too kind. Hey I've got a joke for you lot. Okay, so there was this black guy and an Eastern European woman-
Mila: Hey Dwayne, that sounds like us.
Dwayne: Nah, it can't be.
Ricky: Then a transvestite with AIDS says "I thought my girlfriend and I were wrong for each other, but this is just ridiculous!" A black guy, and an Eastern European woman, can you believe that. Soon, the woman would find the boyfriend's secret X-rated films in his drawer eh, am I right or am I right?
Mila: You have porn?! You sick sh*t!
Dwayne: Mila wait!
Present Niko: Yes! I broke them up, oh yeah!
Niko kills Past Niko so he can take his place, then he kills Frankie Boyle for foiling his plan last time.
Niko: Don't worry Dwayne, it's going to be OK.
Dwayne cries on Niko's shoulder. Niko starts feeling bad for breaking them up. Niko goes outside.
Niko: Wait, why has the Chain Story gone to this topic? I feel like an episode of the fourth season of a now discontinued sitcom that went downhill since Season 3.
1. Niko commits suicide.
2. Niko steals a firetruck spraying everybody.
3. Niko has fun by stealing the Lost MC's bikes.
4. Niko tries to find Waldo.

[Driftking120]

2. Niko steals a firetruck spraying everybody.
As niko going down the road spraying everybody in sight he spots a group of Lost MC's talking on a corner, niko aims the water cannon at the Lost MC's and fires away.
Niko: Hey, how'd you like dat? Huh? You f*ckin' maricón!
Suddenly one of the Lost MC's get up and wields a minigun.
Niko: OH MOTHERF*CKER!
Niko steers the fire truck hard left to avoid the shower of bullets, but in the process crashes straight into a Burgershot.
What happens next?
1. Niko has a standoff with the Lost MC wielding only a baseball bat(He left his other weapons backstage at the comedy club)
2. The cashier goes into a panic attack wielding a sawn-off shotgun shooting everybody in sight
3. The fire truck catches on fire and explodes, causing the building to collapse(How many buildings have we destroyed in this chain story?)
4. A group of conveniently placed hookers distracts the Lost MC

[The_Anti-tragedy]

QUOTE (Driftking120 @ Saturday, Aug 11 2012, 00:44)

2. The cashier goes into a panic attack wielding a sawn-off shotgun shooting everybody in sight

The cashier shoots the Lost MC chasing Niko. Niko dodges the deadly shotgun's shells and runs behind a table. Niko throws some fries at the menu, somehow breaking it. The cashier gets killed by Niko's grenades. Niko runs outside where he finds the LCPD standing right in front of him.
Niko: There is a good explanation for this...
Niko runs to a parked Lokus and drives out of the area. He hits several cars, including some bikes. He then commits the pothole glitch and the car bounces all over the place, hitting a billboard in the process. He jumps out and lands on a nearby Akuma motorcycle. He runs away from the fuzz shooting at them. He finds himself on the Broker-Dukes Expressway, running off the hill into Algonquin-Dukes Expressway. He crashes into several cars. Niko gets up.
Niko steals a passing Buffalo and...
1. Drives onto the pedestrian walkway of the Algonquin Bridge.
2. Goes the opposite way and gains a four-star wanted level at the airport.
3. Ditches the car for a Police Stinger and drives super fast.
4. Drives into South Broker where he does a jump before the circled road. He then heads for a gas station.