[The_Anti-tragedy]

QUOTE (AlexGTAGamer @ Thursday, Apr 19 2012, 01:34)

5. [Insert character here]

We follow Roman in the Middle East Safehouse. He stares at the couch.
Roman: The wiki's right, there is an R on the couch!
Niko: Hey Roman.
Roman: What cousin?
Niko: If you see any cops coming here, don't be surprised.
Roman: O....kay...
Niko leaves the place and takes off in his Infernus Bernie gave him. Roman looks out the window and sees some FIB agents outside barracading Albany Ave. and Pyrite St. Roman gasps and hears someone knocking on the door. He hides behind one of the walls.
Unknown: Anyone there? Hello?... Okay, I'm gonna have to barge in.
The knocker is...
1. Michelle
2. Dwayne
3. An FIB agent
4. Niko saying he forgot his laptop.
5. [Insert character here].

60TH PAGE!!!!

This post has been edited by The_Anti-tragedy on Thursday, Apr 19 2012, 02:31

[AceRay]

3.

The FIB is wearing a tie. What colour is this tie?

1. A blue tie.
2. A green tie.
3. A red tie.

[The_Anti-tragedy]

QUOTE (AceRay @ Thursday, Apr 19 2012, 09:36)

3. A red tie.

The FIB agent finds Roman.
Roman: You'll never take me alive!!
Agent: Shh! It's me. *The FIB agent takes off a mask revealing Johnny Gat.*
Roman: What the, who are you??
Gat: I'm Johnny Gat. Came to get you out of here. Turns out that Domesto-Gat-M4-Vibrator-Bot from 6 pages ago really turned out smooth. I took control and grabbed my head and attached it to this body.
Roman: I see... How are we going to escape? The place is crawling with cops?
Two seconds later, Gat and Roman have a parachute and jump out of the building via hole in the wall. They parachute onto the beginning of the East Borough Bridge. They take a car before the street gets blocked by cops. They run over various people. Far into the road, a roadblock awaits them.
The roadblock is actually not just cars, the roadblock is...
1. Actually is just cars.
2. Cars and Enforcers.
3. Police Bikes, cars, Enforcers, and two choppers by the sides.
4. The road is completely blocked by cops. Just cops with pistols.
5. Police cars, Enforcers, bikes, choppers, Stingers, Buffalo cruisers, and three Buzzards above the road going across.

[billy james]

4. The road is completely blocked by cops. Just cops with pistols.

They ram threw the cop without busting a headlight

(Gat) You think it would be more difficult that this.

(Roman) It's liberty city what do you expect
They keep on driving until an APC come up behind them

(Gat) We're f*cked
Romans phone rings
(Roman) Hello?

(Niko) Roman it's me Niko, I'm behind you in an APC, I'm here to protect you.

(Roman) thanks Niko.
What happens next????
1) A random sniper shoots Gat
2) Niko destroys several cop cars that get in the way
3) Yusuf shows up in a golden buzzard
4) The Lost MC attempt to make a roadblock

[The_Anti-tragedy]

QUOTE (billy james @ Friday, Apr 20 2012, 11:21)

2) Niko destroys several cop cars that get in the way

Gat: Thanks, Niko!
Roman: Yeah, thanks cousin!
Several more police cars come with Enforcers and bikes including Stingers and Buffalos. Niko keeps mangling the cars and bikes. The Enforcers ram Niko off the road. He blows up the Enforcers but sets the tank on fire.
Niko: Sh*t! Gotta get out of here!
Niko gets out of the tank while Roman and Gat wait for him to get in. Niko gets in the car and they drive off to Maisonette 09. They explain everything to Luis and Tony.
1. Luis rats them out and kicks them out of the club.
2. Tony accepts to harbor them.
3. Bernie comes in and realizes it's the wrong club. He notices Niko, Roman, and Gat. He then rats them out.

[bugoy]

2. Tony accepts to harbor them.

NIKO: Thanks! So, where do we hide?
TONY: "We"? I meant only you! This other asshole dies! *pulls out pistol and shoots Gat in the neck*
NIKO: Oh-kay...

1) Niko, scared that Tony might kill him as well, runs out of the club, trips and gets pounced on by the cops.
2) Niko grabs the pistol from Tony and shoots him.
3) Niko drags Gat's corpse inside and calls Zero to make him a new android.

[The_Anti-tragedy]

QUOTE (bugoy @ Saturday, Apr 21 2012, 17:32)

2) Niko grabs the pistol from Tony and shoots him.

Luis: Hey! Why'd you kill Tone?
Niko: I was scared! What was he going to do?
Luis: DEhHfireGJqHtiwTJO%$5jkhg#J4ruwhgf?WEGhwighwUREgbhvsdVIrhwb
Niko: EHjgiv#$$#fhierrjfikgvbFIGreigfWFHireGreghteisedj
Roman: EEVVEERRYYBBOODDYY SSHHUUTT TTHHEE FF**CCKK UUPP!!!!
Everyone falls silent. Niko and Luis agree to help each other and both get inside Tony's Schafter along with Roman. They spot the cops behind them. Luis whispers.
Luis: Niko, Roman, get down!
Niko and Roman hide inside the car. Niko hides by crouching by Luis. Roman hides in the trunk. The car pulls up by Luis' car and goes to the driver's seat.
Officer: Eh, everything good here, gay assistant? Hhqahahahahahahaha!!!
Luis: Yes, everything's fine, mook.
The officer goes away and drives off in the cop car.
Luis: Nice, crouching Niko and hidden Roman.
The two cousins get back up in their seats. Luis drives them to the docks down the road. He drops Niko and Roman off at the dock and make their way to the Smuggler.
1. The boat immediately gets blown up, blowing Niko and Roman away.
2. The security guard spots them and calls the cops.
3. An LCPD chopper comes saying they've been found.
4. Tony respawned and called the cops on them.

[AlexGTAGamer]

QUOTE (The_Anti-tragedy @ Saturday, Apr 21 2012, 23:51)

3. An LCPD chopper comes saying they've been found.

Helicopter pilot: "You down there, freeze!"
Niko: "Oh crap."
Roman: "We're screwed now!"
Helicopter pilot: "There is that Rusty Brown's Ring Donuts employee who didn't serve us!"
Niko: "What?" The Bellics look over there shoulders and see a RBRD employee suddenly run away.
Helicopter gunner: "Take this you-" *Gun fire*
Niko: "Get down!" Niko grabs Roman and they both jump into the water whilst the helicopter chases after the employee.
Roman: *Glub* "Niko!" *Glub*
Niko: "What?" They both look ahead and see a speedboat speed towards them. At the last moment the boat slows down and stops. The driver of the boat is none other than...

1. Bernie.
2. Brucie.
3. ULPC guy.
4. Some random woman.
5. [Insert character here].

[bugoy]

3. ULPC guy.

NIKO: You! Why did you get me kidnapped by those three idiots?
ULPC: I did not! I was taking you to safety. Why didn't you cooperate with them?
NIKO: We were spotted by your former agents, who then proceeded to attack us!
ULPC: My former agents? So some of those bastards actually did revolt against me!
ROMAN: Cuuuuzzzz!!!! It's teh po-po!!!

Predators appear at their back.

1) Niko and Roman jump out of the boat to evade the cops.
2) ULPC grabs a rocket launcher attached to the boat and fires at the cops' boats. Unfortunately, one of them gets too close to his boat and they sink.
3) Stan Smith and his two sidekicks appear in a chopper and pull out a rope ladder. ULPC and the two Bellics climb up and into the chopper.

[The_Anti-tragedy]

QUOTE (bugoy @ Monday, Apr 23 2012, 07:56)

3) Stan Smith and his two sidekicks appear in a chopper and pull out a rope ladder. ULPC and the two Bellics climb up and into the chopper.

Niko, ULPC guy, and Roman are climbing the rope up to the chopper.
Niko: I got it! American Dad, that's where he's from!
Roman: What the f*ck is that?
Niko: It's a TV sh- OH SH*T!!!!
Roman: Cuzzzzzz, IT'S TEH PO-PO!!
Niko: That your catchphrase or something?
Niko and Roman continue climbing up the rope to the chopper while Police Mavericks follow them.
Stan: Damn it! Where do we go?
Niko: Take us to Northwood at Luis' safehouse!
Stan: All right!
Stan flies the chopper to Luis' safehouse in Algonquin. They pick up Luis while he gets two parachutes.
Niko: Okay, Smith. Get us as high as you can! *To Luis* Okay Luis, now put that parachute on and grab me and Roman.
Luis: Okay.
Niko: Now ULPC, put this other parachute on and grab Smith and the other two agents.
ULPC guy does so and so does Luis. Luis, Niko, and Roman jump and open their parachute. Niko realizes they have a five-star wanted level. Luis quickly goes down.
Niko: Why are we going down quicker than we're supposed to?
Luis: How much does your cousin weigh?
Roman: 500 lbs.
Luis & Niko:
They fail to get out of their wanted circle, although ULPC and his former agents made it out.
1. They attempt it again.
2. ULPC and the others come in a chopper and picks them up.
3. They get arrested but get bailed out by [insert character here]
4. They bribe the cops with Hickory Sticks.

[bugoy]

2. ULPC and the others come in a chopper and picks them up.

SILVER: Ya know what, you shouldn't have jumped.
NIKO: You're telling us this now?!

Meanwhile, the chopper gets chased by Annihilators.

ROMAN: Cuz, it's the~
NIKO: Shut up and take them out! Where are the damn guns?
MYRTLE: Here, take these two rocket launchers. Me and Dan, we'll be using M4's.
LUIS: What about me?
SMITH: You pilot the chopper. ULPC and I will jump outta here!
LUIS: OK...I guess?

The chopper crashes into the side of the GetaLife building. Just before it explodes, ULPC and Stan Smith parachute down and ________ . Niko, Roman, Luis, Dan Silver and Jeff Myrtle, however, ____________.

1) Get arrested, escape
2) Escape, get arrested
3) Get arrested, die and respawn in Alderney
4) Escape, die and respawn in Alderney
5) Die and respawn in Alderney, get arrested
6) Die and respawn in Alderney, escape

[The_Anti-tragedy]

QUOTE (bugoy @ Monday, Apr 23 2012, 18:23)

2) Escape, get arrested

The five are all in a Police car.
Niko: Geez Roman, you just had to blow up the mayor's secretary!
Roman: F*ck you cousin!
Myrtle: Shut up, you two!
They get to the Alderney State Correctional Facility. They each go in five seperate cells.
ULPC and Stan escape to the Rotterdam Tower. They get chased on the way there by the LCPD and FIB. The two grab parachutes from a bag they found there and jump off. They escape their wanted level.
ULPC: I'm gonna call to see how the boys are doing. Hello Niko.
Niko: *This is Niko Bellic. If you're listening to this, I'm probably in jail or dead. LEave a message*
ULPC: Crap. He's in jail.
They land on the ground and get in a car. They drive off to the prison on Alderney. Meanwhile...
1. Niko, Roman, Luis, Silver, and Myrtle all get bailed out by [insert character here]
2. Roman gets raped by his cellmate and yells "Cuuuzzzzzz!!! IT'S TEH RAPE-RAPE!!"
3. Luis and Roman knock out the guards by farting on them.
4. Gerry finds a way to break out the others and distracts the guards.

[AlexGTAGamer]

QUOTE (The_Anti-tragedy @ Monday, Apr 23 2012, 20:25)

4. Gerry finds a way to break out the others and distracts the guards.

Gerry: "Psst. Niko."
Niko: "Gerry? How did you get out of your cell? And what are you doing in an ASCF officer's uniform?"
Gerry: "No time to explain, I'm getting you lot out of here." Gerry pulls out a set of keys and picks through them to find the one for the cell door.
Niko: "I'd like to leave today Gerry."
Gerry: "Hang on." Gerry tries all of the keys, but none of them work.
Niko: "Well that was a waste of time."
Luis: "Aye, aren't these cell doors opened via a switch in the Warden's office?"
Gerry: *Blank face*
Niko: *Begins to laugh*
Prison guard: "Hey, you! Stop talking to the inmates and get back to patrol!"
Gerry walks away down the corridor.
Silver: "I can't stay in prison, they'll tear me apart!"
Myrtle: "I didn't sign up for this!"
Luis: "You both became agents, yet you both didn't expect to get arrested or taken hostage? Wow, are you two stupid."
Silver: "Hey don't call me stupid! I'll have you know I can kill you in 6 different ways using only my shoe."
Roman: "Niko, calm 'em down."
Suddenly the doors in the cell block all open.
Niko: "Yes, we're free!" The five all run out of the cell and make their way to a security door whilst a prison riot breaks out. Gerry opens all of the doors to let the inmates escape, though Silver, Myrtle and a few other convicts are shot and killed by the prison guards.

When they manage to get outside a van pulls up and the backdoors of the van fly open. ULPC guy jumps out of the back and gets Niko, Roman, Luis and Gerry all into the back of the van. He gives them all a change of clothes from their prison overalls and drops them all off in different locations.

We follow...
1. Niko who has been dropped off in Middle Park.
2. Luis who has been dropped off in South Bohan.
3. Gerry who has been dropped off in Hove Beach.
4. Roman who has been dropped off in Firefly Projects.
5. ULPC guy who is now randomly driving around the city.

[billy james]

1. Niko who has been dropped off in Middle Park.

(Niko) Ohh Ohh I need to poo
Niko races to the toilets and gets there just in time, but when he's in there, he overheres a conversation between two mobsters washing their hands

(Mobster 1) So whats this guy name we need to kill?

(Mobster 2) Some serb named Bellic, uhh Roman I think he's 1st name is.
Niko (still on the Toilet) starts to really listen in.
(Mobster 2) C-mon lets go take of this guy
What does Niko do
1) Pounces out of the toilet and throws his feces at them
2) Pounces out of the toilet and kills them red army style
3) Wait for them to leave so he can follow them
4) Continuse sh*tting him self

[bugoy]

1) Pounces out of the toilet and throws his feces at them

MOBSTER 1: Eeww! What the~?!
MOBSTER 2: Run, you idiot! (They don't know Roman is Niko's cousin.)
NIKO: And don't come back! *returns to cubicle to sh*t*

Meanwhile, ULPC is driving around the city when he hears a news flash on the radio describing a jail break in which some prisoners were shot dead. Remembering Niko was imprisoned a few days back, he decides to drive to Alderney to check on him. A big Benson truck rams ULPC's car from behind, sending it spinning and crashing through some garbage cans, a light post, and another parked car. The truck drives past, its driver grinning. Who is the driver?

1) Yusuf.
2) Lazlow.
3) Brian Jeremy.
4) Carl Johnson.
5) An M.O.B. member.
6) The Celebinator.

[The_Anti-tragedy]

QUOTE (bugoy @ Monday, Apr 30 2012, 15:09)

4) Carl Johnson.

ULPC: Who the f*ck was that guy?!
Niko is driving on a motorcycle throughout Alderney. He sees ULPC guy on the sidewalk and decides to pick him up. He gets on and they drive off.
ULPC: Niko, am I glad to see you. Can you get us to that Benson over there?
Niko: Sure! Want some of my moisturizer?
ULPC guy: No thanks, Niko.
Niko drives the motorcycle and gets too the end of the truck. ULPC guy jumps off and hangs on to the connector on the truck. He climbs up on the roof of it and takes the driver's seat. Niko goes to check on Roman to see if he's been killed.
ULPC: Who are you?
CJ: I'm Carl Johnson, who are you?
ULPC guy gets out a pistol while CJ gets out a dildo. He whacks ULPC guy with it repeatedly until ULPC guy grabs it. He shoves the dildo up CJ's throat and gets out of the truck. He torches the truck and takes off.

Meanwhile, in Middle Park East, Niko is on his motorcycle coming to save Roman. He goes inside the safehouse and sees the mobsters with Roman. They're shaking hands.
Niko: I'LL SAVE YOU CUZZZ!!!!!!
He lands on one of the mobsters and falls onto the table.
Mobster #1: What are you doing?
Niko: I came here to save Roman.
Mobster #2: Why would you do that?
Niko: I heard you in the bathroom talking to each other about killing my cousin, Roman. Then I threw my smashed-banana-like feces at you.
Mobster #2: O...kay?
Mobster #1: What?? Oh hell no! Roman's a good friend of ours, we asked him if he could kill a guy for us named Roman Brevic Timur Bellic Himalayas III.
Niko: WHAT?? *Niko says with a pokerface*
Mobster #1: But since you fell on me and ruined my shirt...
The mobster pulls out a gun...
1. He asks him to polish his gun along with his dry cleaning.
2. He tries to kill Niko but Niko sees a collection of dildos and tries to choke the mobster.
3. Roman interrupts and grabs the gun. He shoots the roast beef, cooking it and setting it on fire.
4. Bernie smashes a huge hole in the wall because he heard that Niko took his moisturizer.

[bugoy]

3. Roman interrupts and grabs the gun. He shoots the roast beef, cooking it and setting it on fire.

Niko, Roman and the mobsters sit by the fire and eat.

Just outside, they hear a car approaching them. The car stops and three people get out. Who are they?

1) CJ, Tommy and Claude.
2) Smith, Silver and Myrtle (the latter two pretended to be dead just so they can escape)
3) Niko's mother Milica Bellic and two unknowns.
4) Dan Houser, Sam Houser and Lazlow Jones.

[The_Anti-tragedy]

QUOTE (bugoy @ Wednesday, May 2 2012, 16:27)

1) CJ, Tommy and Claude.

CJ, Tommy, and Claude bust into the door with Claude holding a shotgun, Tommy with an AK-47, and CJ with a dildo.
CJ: Freeze, fool!
Niko: W- why do you have to say it like that, just why?
Roman: What's going on?
Tommy: Do you know Dan Silver, Stan Smith and Jeff Myrtle?
Niko and Roman both nod their heads.
CJ: Well they're former agents for a representive at ULPC and we got some history. We tracked them down using their DNA we got by hitting each of them with dildos.
Niko: But these guys are just regular mobsters.
Claude takes off two masks on each of the mobsters' heads. They each reveal ULPC guy and Stan Smith.
Niko: Wait. I dropped ULPC guy off in Alderney and he hijacked your truck. How did he beat me here on a motorcycle when he was in a truck? And since you're the mobsters I heard when I was on the can, why would you want to kill Roman?
Rocco: Freeze, fool!
Rocco and Vince Pelosi bust in from the door each with guns.
Roman: What the hell is going on here!?
Rocco: I was on your motorcycle as ULPC guy to distract you. We're here to kill your fat cousin. We're the mobsters.
Niko: Then why are ULPC guy and Smith here?
Smith: Me and ULPc guy needed a place to discuss how we're going to kill Roman Brevic Timur Bellic Himalayas III.
Niko: So let me get this straight: I heard Rocco and Vince talk about killing Roman in the bathroom. Rocco and Vince just arrived here. Meanwhile, ULPC guy and Smith come here to hire my cousin to kill Roman Brevic Timur Bellic Himalayas III, and CJ, Tommy, and Claude arrive because they each hate ULPC. But that still doesn't explain how CJ got ULPc guy's DNa instead of Rocco's when he was in the truck.
Rocco: They had a sale on DNA-covered suits today at Perseus.
Vince: I had to buy a size-50.
Everyone: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
Niko: So now what?
1. All of them go mountain climbing on Mount Chiliad.
2. They all eat at Burger Shot but Roman lets out a huge fart, suffocating everyone again.
3. Claude grabs CJ's dildo and chokes Smith with it.
4. Claude, Tommy, and CJ shoot at ULPC guy and Smith, killing them.
5. Vince's suit rips and falls down. His body is exposed.

This post has been edited by The_Anti-tragedy on Thursday, May 3 2012, 22:30

[AlexGTAGamer]

QUOTE (The_Anti-tragedy @ Thursday, May 3 2012, 23:27)

4. Claude, Tommy, and CJ shoot at ULPC guy and Smith, killing them.

Niko: "Guys! What the hell!?"
Tommy: "What? We said we had bad history with them."
CJ: "Yeah. Did you expect us to give them a massage and let them go on their way?"
Claude: *Nods head in agreement*
Rocco: "Right Vince let's kill that Roman guy."
Roman: "No!"
Niko pulls out a gun and shoots Rocco and Vince at the same time as Tommy, Claude and CJ.
Niko: "Wow. Look at all those bullet holes."
CJ: "They look like Swiss cheese now."
Roman: "I think I'm going to be sick."
Claude: *Blank face*
Tommy: "Well, they're all dead now, so there is nothing left for us to do here."
Niko: "Hang on a minute. Before you lot go home, how about we all...

1. Go bowling?"
2. Get drunk?"
3. Go party at a club?"
4. Grab a bite to eat?"
5. Shoot each other Reservoir Dogs style?"

[The_Anti-tragedy]

QUOTE (AlexGTAGamer @ Thursday, May 3 2012, 23:40)

5. Shoot each other Reservoir Dogs style?"

CJ, Tommy & Roman: Yeah!!
Claude:
CJ: Wait... someone ate the last lemon tartlet...
The five all get out pistols and aim at each other in a pentagon.
Tommy: Wait, guys. We don't eed this. We're supposed to be f*cking professionals!
CJ: Shut up, fool!
Claude & Niko:
CJ: Sorry.
The five all shoot each other all at the same time. They all miss except Niko who shot CJ. They wait five in-game hours for CJ to drive all the way from Los Santos to LC from the hospital.
Tommy: Hey, how was the trip.
CJ: Shut up, fool!
Claude & Niko:
Roman: TAKE THIS MUTHAF*CKAHS!! HAHAHA!
Roman takes Tommy's AK and shoots all over the place. He covers all of the furniture and walls with bullets but misses the other four completely. They all grab shotguns. They each shoot Roman in the face.
Niko: Wait, this bullet. It's a needle!
Tommy: Of course. I set up swine flu needles for ammo.
Niko gets hit in the leg by one of the needles. He turns red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, and purple in 3 seconds. He falls down and dies.
1. The three protags left decide to have a huge party with everyone from the third era.
2. Ken Rosenberg appears beside Tommy and kills him because he warns him about his kids.
3. They go for Drumsticks.
4. Packie calls Niko on his cell phone and they think it's the girl from the Ring.