[ThaBoY]

Ok, thanks Lee. Can you send me a PM when it's done?

[Dusty_The_Jackal]

Could I get these two missions reviewed please?

http://dyom.gtagames.nl/?act=show&id=19905

http://dyom.gtagames.nl/?act=show&id=19940

I wanted to try something new with the second one. You'll see what I mean.

EDIT: New mission! http://dyom.gtagames.nl/?act=show&id=19933

They are part of my Resilience mission series.

"Resilience is a mission series revolving around a country that is forcefully taken over by a large, infamous criminal organization known as Ascension. Not much is known of Ascension's intentions, except that the leader, Jared Bane, and his right-hand Officials plan to reshape the country into their image.

Many groups of rebels saw it coming: the President assassinated by Ascension, the latter taking the President's place. The Resistance are scattered across the country in numerous locations, and plan to overthrow Ascension and bring peace back to the world. "

This post has been edited by Dusty_The_Jackal on Tuesday, Jul 17 2012, 20:40

[Secronom President]

Could someone review my four missions (bottom of the main post) of my mission pack The Chronicles of John Secronom: Gang War I?

Personally, I would appreciate a critical and complex review which would help me improve my missions from a reviewer such as AznKei or of his reviews quality. ^^

[Secronom President]

Hi there,

Today, I'm going to review two missions from Another Day of my Life mission pack designed by jaban.

You can find these two missions there: [URL=http://dyom.gtagames.nl/?act=show&id=19752]A Manager's Responsibility], [ULR=http://dyom.gtagames.nl/?act=show&id=19790]A War's Choice].

Anyway, on to the review:

-Writing: Could be better: While the dialogues and instructions are somehow understandable, there is a total of 121 errors (not capitalising names, not capitalising location names, not capitalising the word "I", not capitalising the first letter of the sentences, not putting spaces after commas, not putting spaces after the parentheses which identify the speakers, not putting dots at the end of the majority of the sentences) and dots spamming which ruin the missions. There was a minor text coloring: red, yellow, blue.
-Presentation: Decent: The seventeen cutscenes all had somehow good angles, but there were some in-play designing that ruined it: spawning the car out of nowhere after an objective instead of having it spawned right at the beginning of the missions and spawning the two objects out of nowhere too after walking through the checkpoints instead of having them spawned already in the second mission or spawning out of nowhere the actors fighting each others (including their vehicles) after we reach the top of the billboard when we passed there not even twenty seconds ago also in the second mission. Also, there is this lack of story...

A Manager's Responsibility
-Lenght: Short: The mission can be easily done in three minutes. The mission is pretty straight forward: go to a location, kill the bodyguads, kill the bad guy which is a snitch for the cops, return home.
-Difficulty: Very easy: The mission can be easily done by taking cover behind the black jack table and, with your Desert Eagle, headshotting the cops since they only have 9mm's. To kill Tim (equipped with a Shotgun), get close to him and shoot him until he gets to the ground, then keep shooting him until he dies. Although the wanted level system is enabled, it will only go up to two stars and it can be easily escaped.
-Variety: Good: The mission has Joey, Rick, Tim and the Los Santos cops as actors. The Cadrona is the only vehicle. The Desert Eagle, the 9mm and the Shotgun are the only three weapons. The two objects are the black jack table which you use to tak cover and the blue door on the roof.

A War's Choice
-Lenght: Decent: The mission can be easily done in four minutes. The mission is pretty straight forward: take a weapon, shoot the guys you decide are the bad guys and go home.
-Difficulty: Very easy: Not sniping anyone nor sniping the Ballas or the Orange Grove Families will make the mission any harder. Although the wanted level system is enabled, you will gain only one star for killing the bad guys and the star can be lost pretty quick.
-Variety: Good: The mission contains Ray, Will, the three Ballas (skins) and the two other Orange Grove Families (skins. Note that Will uses one of these three skins.) The vehicles are a Cadrona, Vincent and Tahoma. The weapons are a Desert Eagle, Sniper Rifle, SMG and AK-47. The objects you can find in this mission are a wooden box and the Four Dragons Casino garage door.

Overall, the missions seem pretty much quick designed. The missions were way too short and way to easy to play, but the variety compensated a little bit for this. There were some designing backwards like spawning a thing out of nowhere instead of having it already spawned which should be avoided. About the writing: if a player is more occupied to count the spelling mistakes instead of focussing more on playing the mission, then there is a big problem! Improving the English quality of the future missions should be a top priority. Anyway, the author did a somehow poor job and should try to improve his work.

[ToniForelli]

Hello everyone my name is ToniForelli, it's been a bit while since i reviewed! Now i will review Secronom President's mission called In The Beginning from his mission pack The Chronicles of John Secronom

"Writing: Excellent
No mistakes found. Everything is alright/good/perfect!
"Presentation: Excellent
Cutscene angles are excellent! The dialogue are excellent! The enemies are excellent! What more could i say.

"Length: Good
This mission takes a little bit while, but you will reach the destination. Once you reach it, it takes a while to get the guns. I think the author wanted to make this mission longer.

"Difficulty: Medium
Getting the guns is kinda hard actually. You have to get from the dead bodies so the best way to do it is to use helicopter blades and kill one of the enemies. The hardest part of all is that they got good accuracy and medium amount of health. Since you got low ammo, this could be hard for those who are not accurate in GTA: SA.

"Variety: Good
Various actors such as Toreno, John, Varrios Los Aztecas members, CIA or are they FBI? Different weapons for every actor what is there more to say.

Overall 9/10
This mission was very good. You also got to be patient for the weapon part and very fast at collecting the guns from dead people. The author was prepeared for everything to create this good mission. Although i have a tip for him: "if you're making FBI, CIA or some sort of secret organization, evil agent, make your helicopter either dark blue or black or dark grey."

Now lets head to Retaliation i hope it's something related to the nukes i think.

"Writing: Excellent
No mistakes found. Everything is alright/good/perfect just like last time!
"Presentation: Excellent
The dialogue is impressive, cutscene angle is impressive! No bugs as usual.

"Length: Very good
Killing enemies again and again with that big health and driving from place to place, cutscene time made it long. Quality and quantity are balanced at this point.

"Difficulty: Hard
After 3 times i did it! Hard as hell when you don't know that some of them have headshot option enabled(most missions don't have it). The best way to do it is to run to the left side and hide in the boxes for a while. Then shoot them without getting shot. Other parts are not hard. Just avoid "blasts and bullets" and you should be fine and have 100% armor.

"Variety: Good
Guns, friends/enemies guns, armor, health, cars, Varrios Los Aztecas members, Russian Mafia, Vladimir. Various things in this mission.

Overall 10/10
This mission would be hard for newbies. The worst part is that all those Sentinels are not popproof. Mostly your tires will be shot and that's annoying since there are no cars except Russian Sentinels however this mission is entertaining and very fun. Storyline, hardness, your gang makes everything spicy. I thought in Retaliation there will be nukes since i played MGS: PW alot.

Next mission is Rampage Party

"Writing: Excellent
Like all my ratings to you is excellent!
"Presentation: Very Good
Good cutscene angles, but lack of dialogue.

"Length: Very Good
Holy Jesus Christ! Very long mission you made. Molotov Cocktails kill them very slowly so it took lots of time.

"Difficulty: Medium
People with good accuracy and medium health will not hesitate to shoot you! When with molotov cocktails burn all of Aztecas and get guns from them so you can finish the snipers.

"Variety: Good
Lots of actors with different looks. Molotovs, pistols, Ak47's and more.

Overall 9/10
This mission is awesome. I really like these kind of missions, epic. The problem is that Russians don't assist you. Beating the massive army of Aztecas with one guy takes a lot of guts. I could make a meme out of this "sees the large group of Aztecas, makes one mercenary to kill them". I would advise you to lower the sniper healths.
Time for some entertaining missions like Supplies now

"Writing: Excellent
No mistakes found. Everything is alright/good/perfect!
"Presentation: Excellent
Cutscene angles, surprises and dialogue make everything excellent.

"Length: Good
Long as usual. The place where it takes time is to get past the roadblock.

"Difficulty: Very Hard
The roadblock is the hard part. Don't go through the roadblock. Find another way and also some cars are about to explode when someone drives it. Hard as hell and almost blew up my Securicar.

"Variety: Good
The same as above Aztecas, Grove St., John, Vladimir, Russian Mafia and so on.

Overall 10/10
This mission would be too hard for newbies. I suggest you to not play if you suck at GTA SA. This mission was very exciting for me. Keep doing similar missions in the future.

Next is Two Or Boom

"Writing: Very Good
Found one mistake, but a cutscene mistake. It should be like this "Gal and Sunny" not "Gal... Sunny..."
"Presentation: Excellent
Lots of action, surprises and stressing moments

"Length:Good
Lots of headshotable enemies so it didn't took long.

"Difficulty: Hard
The first and second parts are easy until you have to protect the barrells. You got to rage quit on that one well the rest is easy.

"Variety: Good
Same as above and i'm not going to repeat it unless there are some new cars guns and stuff, well there were 3 guns the player gets, few objects so not much i could say.

Overall 8/10
This mission has its annoying moments and fun moments. The annoying moment is protecting the barrells, the fun moment is killing a large group of Aztecas. I liked the last mission better, but this one has atleast one annoying moment.

I'm going to review Headshots At The Airport right now

"Writing: Excellent
No mistakes found. Everything is alright/good/perfect!
"Presentation: Good
Lack of cutscenes, but atleast there is a very good dialogue. More cutscenes in the future.

"Length: Good
Lenght is the same, nothing changed.

"Difficulty: Easy
All you got to do is snipe them. Simple as that and a reminder "do not let the Russian with the SPAS12 die".

"Variety: Good
Sniper, cars, gangs, you, parachutes, helicopter that's it.

Overall 7/10
Not very intresting when you don't fight in a gang war. When assassinating few people try to make sure you are the only one in the area no one esle, no asisstance. I liked the fight though.
Okay time to review the last mission called Peace and Blood

"Writing: Excellent
No mistakes found. Everything is alright/good/perfect!
"Presentation: Good
Good dialogue, good cutscene angles and i know every good mission is at the mall.

"Length: Very Good
It's really hard to do a headshot with a combat shotgun actually. Took me some time, but managed to beat them

"Difficulty: Easy
All you got to do is snipe them. Simple as that and a reminder "do not let the Russian with the SPAS12 die".

"Variety: Good
Lots of actors, cars and stuff. I hope i will see San Fierro Rifa or Triads in your 2nd chapter.

Overall 10/10
Give you this rating because i like the shootouts in the mall. This mission is exciting. Lots and lots of action! I never knew about this mission pack. It was very fun to play it. If you are going to keep doing more missions. Add some surprises, hidden weapons etc.

Mission Pack Rating:9/10
You have good dyom skills. I hope i will review your 2nd chapter.

This post has been edited by ToniForelli on Tuesday, Jul 17 2012, 11:01

[Secronom President]

Thanks for the review and rate. You can post it in the topic too, if you want.

You can review chapter two if you want, but I need to complete chapter one first.

[ToniForelli]

QUOTE (Secronom President @ Tuesday, Jul 17 2012, 21:51)

Thanks for the review and rate. You can post it in the topic too, if you want. You can review chapter two if you want, but I need to complete chapter one first.

I will review it when you will complete it.

[AznKei]

IMPORTANT NOTICE!!!

Since there's alot of DYOM reviewers and that a good amount of them are inactive, I will start to do a major cleanup for this topic so the inactive ones would get their DYOM review membership deleted.

I might try to limit the amount of active DYOM reviewers to 5, excluding me, because that would be enough to meet the demands for the review requests.

So for the active DYOM reviewers, please let me know that you're still doing reviews. Otherwise, I might delete your names by accident.

[lee_atsugai]

QUOTE (AznKei @ Thursday, Jul 19 2012, 03:58)

IMPORTANT NOTICE!!! Since there's alot of DYOM reviewers and that a good amount of them are inactive, I will start to do a major cleanup for this topic so the inactive ones would get their DYOM review membership deleted. I might try to limit the amount of active DYOM reviewers to 5, excluding me, because that would be enough to meet the demands for the review requests. So for the active DYOM reviewers, please let me know that you're still doing reviews. Otherwise, I might delete your names by accident.

I'm still active, AznKei.

[ToniForelli]

I am often active here so don't delete me or i'll send my mafia to kill you

[Secronom President]

I'm not active as I used to be, but I am still.

[xMatix]

If somebody will found some time, I would really appreciate if somebody will review some of my missions from my new storyline: http://dyom.gtagames.nl/?act=show&id=20169

[Secronom President]

Could someone review missions from North Verdant Bluffs to El Corona from my mission pack The Chronicles of John Secronom: Gang War I? Thanks.

xMatix: I'll play and review them.

Dusty_The_Jackal: I'll take your request when I'm done with xMatix's ones.

[lee_atsugai]

QUOTE (Secronom President @ Friday, Jul 27 2012, 15:35)

Could someone review missions from North Verdant Bluffs to El Corona from my mission pack The Chronicles of John Secronom: Gang War I? Thanks.

I'll do them, once I'm finished with sayooj's and ThaBoy's

[ToniForelli]

QUOTE (lee_atsugai @ Friday, Jul 27 2012, 15:43)

QUOTE (Secronom President @ Friday, Jul 27 2012, 15:35) Could someone review missions from North Verdant Bluffs to El Corona from my mission pack The Chronicles of John Secronom: Gang War I? Thanks. I'll do them, once I'm finished with sayooj's and ThaBoy's

Wasn't this reviewed by me?

[lee_atsugai]

QUOTE (ToniForelli @ Monday, Jul 30 2012, 21:43)

Wasn't this reviewed by me?

I guess nope. You haven't review those missions (You just reviewed the 1st 'till 4th mission)
Btw, reviews are coming today

[lee_atsugai]

Hello everyone. Today, I'm going to review 4 missions from a storyline called John Franklyn by sayooj. The topic leading to the storyline:
http://www.gtaforums.com/index.php?showtopic=506788

Here's the review:

Writings: Good - A couple of grammar and spelling mistakes I saw in the storyline. Lack on using capital letters, but good at using the punctuation
Presentation: Decent - The cutscenes have generally good angles, but not perfectly timed and focused

Intro

Length: Short - It can be done in 1 minute. John, as the main character of this storyline arrives at San Fierro, looking for houses to rent.
Difficulty: Very Easy - You'll just need to walk from a house to another house.
Variety: Could be Better - This mission only consist of 3 different actors and 1 vehicle

Just a Little Walk in the Alleys

Length: Good - It can be done in 5 minutes. John meets his new friend, Sean when John was walking around the block. Then, he takes John to walk around Ocean Flats
Difficulty: Very Easy - The mission only include on walking around Ocean Flats, no action involved
Variety: Could be Better - I only saw 2 actors in this mission, John and Sean

Job

Length: Short - It can be done in 3 minutes. John and Sean will have to find a job for their incoming cash
Difficulty: Very Easy - The mission only included riding a bike to Burger Shot, and back to home
Variety: Could be Better - I saw 1 type of vehicles and 3 types of actors

You Guys Ask for It

Length: Very Good - It can be done in 7 minutes. John and Sean must take Sean's money that is robbed by the gangsters
Difficulty: Easy - Same as previous mission, but there was a fight involved
Variety: Decent - 5 different actors and 1 type of vehicles I saw in this mission

Overall, the missions are considerate to be good for a beginner, but some of the players can think that this storyline is poorly designed. No, I'm not saying that your storyline is bad, but there are somethings that you need to improve. The first one is the writing. You need to learn how to capitalize letters, so the mission will not be boring when the players played it. Second one is the variety. I know that these are just an introduction missions, but maybe adding some objects or cars can make the mission more lively. The author should try to improve his work in the future

lee_atsugai

[Platinum Card]

@AznKei: Hey could you do a review of No Fear Inferno:Chapter I

[AznKei]

QUOTE (Platinum Card @ Friday, Aug 3 2012, 00:01)

@AznKei: Hey could you do a review of No Fear Inferno:Chapter I

Well, I would like to review but I don't see the mission pack download for some reason...^^

[lee_atsugai]

Hello everyone. Today, I'm going to review a mission pack called The Godfather by ThaBoy. He requested whole Chapter 2 to be reviewed. The topic leading to the missions:
http://www.gtaforums.com/index.php?showtopic=506945

Here's the review:

Writings: Excellent - I barely see writings mistakes in the missions. Nice using on text coloring
Presentation: Excellent - The cutscenes generally have great angles with perfectly timed cutscenes.

Mickey Saleri

Length: Short - It can be done in 2 minutes. Aldo, as the new Enforcer of the Corleone Family, meet up with Tessio, a high ranking members of the Corleone Family. Aldo must take down a Tattaglia family member in Burger Shot
Difficulty: Easy - The player just have to beat down a Tattaglia family member, nothing much
Variety: Could be Better - As the mission consist of 4 different actors and 1 different car

Intensive Care

Length: Very Good - It can be done in 8 minutes. Some cops are holding up in the hospital where the Don is held, and Clemenza don't trust them. Aldo and Frankie will be ambushed by some Tattaglia family members
Difficulty: Medium - Firstly Aldo need to kill a Tattaglia family member armed with 9mm, while Aldo is unarmed. The player must find their own ammo by killing the enemies. The enemies have low health with medium accuracies, while some of them have their headshots turned on
Variety: Good - As the mission consist of 10 different actors, 1 weapon (9mm) and 2 vehicles

Donnie Marelli

Length: Decent - It can be done in 4 minutes. This time, Tessio give Aldo a job to defeat Donnie Marelli, a high ranking Tattaglia member near a Corleone Safehouse
Difficulty: Hard - You will be given a bat, while there are a lot of enemies armed with 9mm, and have medium accuracies, plus a time limit makes the mission harder
Variety: Good - As the mission consist of several different actors and several different cars.

Fireworks

Length: Good - It can be done in 7 minutes. Aldo receives a hot ticket to a party at Rosa's from Clemenza. Expect bad things will happens at the party
Difficulty: Very Hard - Firstly we drive to the Rosa's. After the Sergeant ruin the party, you must rally a stealth in the back alley. The enemies have very high accuracies and have powerful weapons like Shotguns. It really hard to learn their route points. The rest of the mission is easy
Variety: Very Good - High variety of actors and objects, 3 different cars and huge variety of weapons are seen in this mission

Tony Bianchi

Length: Short - It can be done in 2 minutes. As Aldo returned to the compound, Tessio give him a job, something big this time
Difficulty: Medium - The mission generally is stealth. The player just need to find Tony in this house. Watch out because if you pick a wrong room, you're a dead man in seconds
Variety: Decent - As the mission consist of 5 different actors, little variety of weapons and cars

Associate

Length: Short - It can be done in 1 minute. In this mission, Aldo is trusted to be an Associate in the Corleone family
Difficulty: Very Easy - The missions only includes cutscenes
Variety: Could be Better - The mission consist of 3 different actors

Overall, the missions are good. I enjoyed most of them, even though some of them have little or no action involved. A very good copy from the original "The Godfather" game. Some of the missions have high difficulty, it can be enjoyable for some players but can stressed some average player (Like in the mission "Fireworks"). The author have done a good job in designing in this mission and should keep up the good work

lee_atsugai