[Turbo Lag]

If you play GTA multiplayer, you'll come to realise there's only a few types of player(s) out there. You can always recognise the hostiles, the peacefuls, and the 'noobs.' Here I'm going to list the types I've met and seen online. Feel free to post your own descriptions and elaborate on what anyone has previously said.


This list is not specifically referring to any member, online user or anybody in particular, this is just a list made for fun.




The Sultan RS Noob

The first stereotype, the typical Sultan RS driver. Always runs for a Sultan RS when they get the chance. Generally can't drive for their lives, can't shoot to defend themselves either. As protective as they'd like to be, they generally get gunned down for being 'noobs'. They also try to run anyone over if they get the chance, but refrain from shooting due to being too protective of their cars. They usually also like other 'exotics' like the Infurnus, Turismo, and Banshee in bright colours. They usually grow out of this stage quite quickly and move on to Infurnus's (Infurn-i?)..

The Infurnus Driver

Essentially a slightly more experience Sultan RS driver. They carry around an RPG, and an SMG, that's about it. Usually rubbish at shooting, I know this because they're the type that shoot first. However they're also very, very protective of the car and will do just about anything to save them. I've had one such example run for 30 minutes before I eventually caught him. They generally end up flipping the Infurnus after a while, and sending you messages to come and flip them over. No I'm not going to, you randomly shot me before remember?

The RPG Noob

This is the player who will always blow your ass up when you least expect it. These type of people will blow up any player or thing they see, even if that does mean suicide. If you're good enough and dodging the rockets (which almost everyone is) you can easily obliterate these noobs in a few bullets. They will never ever pull out a gun at you, only a rocket to your face. All they carry around in their armoury is RPGs so they're usually quite easy to pick off before they fire a shot from their noob-toob at you. A very hostile kind, keep away if anything. You can easily tell if someone is an RPG noob if you always see them carrying around an RPG, and will resort to explosions to move you away. If you're in a chopper, a noob will always fire an RPG first, and will resort to guns last. Quite fun to pick off...I admit.

The Glitcher

Everybody knows these ones, the ones who have to exploit glitches to be good at anything. Whether it be DM, FM, or whatever they will always camp in glitches to kill your ass. These guys are usually OK with guns, but it dosen't matter because you can't shoot them anyway. They generally camp somewhere waiting for the poor guy to go near him to RPG the guy. Trying to kill him won't work, as he will know everyone glitch under the sun to get away from you. Sometimes they're actually very skilled players, gone inside with a sniper, and will kill you. Just stay away from these guys, everybody knows they're basically cheating so it's better to just ignore them.

Mr. Hostile

They spawn near you, you think 'ah look he spawned near me, let's go see what he's like', you head over towards him, you honk a few times, he'll run towards your car as if to get in, and just spray bullets at you. These guys are the real asses. You give them a chance and they take your head off. They're usually quite good with powerful, easy to use weapons like the M4 but rubbish if they're left with a pistol. Next time, just don't give randoms a chance. Much easier for you to approach them later on once more when you're ready.

Epic Fail

Everybody knows them, the complete noob. Basically everything noobish combined into one, big, horrifying, failing player. They will shoot you whenever possible, they will try to kill you and always fail miserably. They might, if they get lucky, lay one bullet on you but generally get owned pretty hard, quickly. I like this type, though, fun to play with I think.

The Pilot

My most hated type. They go around in Annihilators completely obliterating everyone's asses. They're usually very, very skilled in piloting but will kill everyone. Quite literally. For kicks, I've been training myself up in an Annihilator, I've built up some rather...bad skill but can usually take down the average noob in a chopper or a noob on foot. I'd still get completely creamed though by someone with genuine skill. I have to admit, it is rather fun owning the idiots who shoot you for no reason. But terrorising everyone for no reason; no respect to you at all.

The Pilot - Noob Version

The Annihilator pilot who cannot shoot and has to blade everyone they see. They usually fail quite hard and will end up taking their own tails off anyway, nothing to worry about here, move on.

The Skilled One

These players are all rounded, they have skill in each area and can own your ass pretty badly if needed. They're generally much more mature and aren't very hostile as long as you're in the good books. However anyone who gets in their way dies.

Snipers

Very, very skilled. They will always get you on first sight, they can always shoot very well and can easily take down anything they want to. Generally shoots on first sight however and is to fear. Almost a chopper pilots worst nightmare.

The Team Member

They never shoot on first sight, and are usually quite friendly. They have fairly well built skills and are quite good with pulling you out of tight situations. You can always trust them, they'll never take your head off and will always defend you. This type, I think, is the least common as I haven't run into too many of these guys. However I can assure you that I've still got them added on my friend's list just incase we need some help.

Horn if your Honk...wait?

These tools always drive around in a Banshee or something and will keep driving around you while you're on foot horning you telling you to get in. They're always complete idiots, and will usually (accidently) run you over if you try to get in anyway. Get out a few minutes later, only to find them shooting the crap out of your next vehicle. They will backstab you.

I love to kick

xXnoobXx wants to kick Turbo Lag *ding*
xXnoobXx wants to kick Turbo Lag *ding*
xXnoobXx wants to kick Turbo Lag *ding*
xXnoobXx wants to kick Turbo Lag *ding*
xXnoobXx wants to kick Turbo Lag *ding*
xXnoobXx wants to kick Turbo Lag *ding*
xXnoobXx wants to kick Turbo Lag *ding*
xXnoobXx wants to kick Turbo Lag *ding*
xXnoobXx wants to kick Turbo Lag *ding*

SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!




Keep going, you guys...

[TV1213]

I have one:

The whiny noob:

Always complaining about needing help, couldn't defend an empty base. can't shoot to save there lives.
Their Catchphrase:
"Where are you guys? I'm dying! Help!

[LukeyJB]

I'm a friendly snipist.

[theGANNER]

This started off good but will get pretty bad in the next few days I guess.

You forgot:

a) The guys that come here after a game and write about how they are the crème de la crème.

b) The guys that threaten others to upload videos of the total fail match on youtube. But they cant affort a capture card or camera...

[ScoobydooWRX]

That is a pretty good list, the one's that really get on my nerves are the honkers, why can't they take a hint, if I haven't got in after 5 minutes of non stop honking that means piss off lol. On another point, I wouldn't say I was the best in the game but above average I think, I tend to have a got at everthing including the chopper, but I wait for a fight to come to me, I don't fire first unless their is a bully in the game, then its a great feeling taking them down . I sniped an elite pilot once when he came down to pick up a mate, that was like kicking a hornets nest lol, he wasn't happy, chased me for about 20 mins

[OdDsOcK]

Turbo Lag, going off of your Infernus drivers, there are the lone cowboys. They don't have a mic, they don't show a response to anything you do, and all they do is drive around. You get within their view and they kill you, often while still driving along.

[SICKRAGE]

The backwards racer:
The backwards race griefers. You can find at least one in every race, not caring about beating their own personal time or even compleating a single lap. His only interest is to wreck everyone, especially the leader.

The obviously using turbo denier guy:
This is the guy that is obviously using a turbo controller but will never admit to it. You can spot this guy when one bullet to the foot instantly kills you. Their favorite excuse- "It was lag" lol

The Auto-Bots:
This type of player relies solely on the game to hold their gun up and show them where to aim it. Oddly- they walk around with a cocky attitude like their Gods gift to gaming. However- never having any true skill and will most likely never graduate to disallow.This breed of noob Imo is A.K.A -The lazy gamer-

This post has been edited by SICKRAGE on Friday, Jan 8 2010, 21:37

[Dragonex100]

The overly agressive spawn killing noob
Someone who for the entire match just shoots people with no ryme or reason, and doesn't do anything else, just kills people right as he spawns.
The Dick Modder
A person who mods there game to its max extend, smg rockets and all, and just unfairly kills the sh*t out of everybody in his flying golden hummer or whatever the f*ck he has and doesnt share anything
The chill modder
A guy who mods his game and doesnt attack anyone who doesnt attack them. He helps peole spawn modded cars and plays for fun, and not to show his alpha dick-liness.
The Gangsta
A guy who has quite a few friendlies on his side and teams up on everyone, usually just targeting one person mainly however. They usually attack in drive bys, and if they have to get there lazy arses out a car, they use rpgs.
The REEEEAAALLY annoying little kid
Usually aging around 6-12, these kids are so annoying, they just scream in the mic, or talk sh*t, whatever, soley to annoy the sh*t out of everyone. Oh, and there noobs.

[SICKRAGE]

The friendly suicide car bomber guy.:
This is the guy who randomly gets in your car but during the ride, he unsuspectingly has granades and kills you both.
OK I think I'm gulity of that one

[Greasepalms]

QUOTE (SICKRAGE @ Jan 8 2010, 21:43)

The friendly suicide car bomber guy.: This is the guy who randomly gets in your car but during the ride, he unsuspectingly has granades and kills you both. OK I think I'm gulity of that one

That's pretty much the only thing I do on FM now

[SICKRAGE]

The anti-killing in FM guy:
This is a player who obviously never read the FM discription. He is only in Library City to sight see and thinks the only reason your given a weapon is to polish it and shoot the sky. Afraid of conflict, their favorite motto: "Can't we all just get along"
My favorite reply: "You wan't me to call you a Whaa-bulance?"
WIMP

This post has been edited by SICKRAGE on Friday, Jan 8 2010, 22:08

[LukeyJB]

QUOTE (SICKRAGE @ Jan 8 2010, 21:43)

The friendly suicide car bomber guy.: This is the guy who randomly gets in your car but during the ride, he unsuspectingly has granades and kills you both. OK I think I'm gulity of that one

I am also guilty of that. I do it to friends, they get so angry. I get in their chopper and before the grenades about to explode I drop it so we get knocked out of the sky and crash. Sometimes they don't know it's me and they're like "wtf"

[retro213]

THE friendly AMBUSHER
• The Guy that honks their horn to get you in their car and then brings you to the guy that you are conflicting in and kills you MAFIA STYLE (Im guilty of that)
•Same thing but the guy makes you go on the passenger seat and blocks the passenger exit (so you have to get out after the driver does) and kills you before you get out of the car (Im a victim and a victimizer of that crime lol)

[LukeyJB]

The Helicopter Camper.

These assholes hang ontop of the Airport Hanger near the 3 choppers, wait for someone to go to a chopper and snipe you or RPG you.

The "I can't kill anyone with a gun so I'll just mow you down"

That is self explainatory.

The people who lure you into Petrol Stations and blow you the f*ck up

That is really our own fault, but it's still annoying.

[SICKRAGE]

lol yeah the "I can't kill with a gun so I'll just mow you down guy" -Ima give this one a go.

The Chopper Blader
Probably the noobiest of them all. The chopper blader is way to garbage to kill using a gun and way to noobie to actually pilot a chopper. Seeing a chopper blader kill with it's guns is like seeing a panhandler giving out change. This noob is lacking skill on a epic scale. Finding satisfaction in smashing himself into the ground, the only thing that breaks his fall is you. Chopper bladers, along side Auto-Bots, seem to talk a huge game but when challenged are the biggest bit*hes.

This post has been edited by SICKRAGE on Saturday, Jan 9 2010, 00:21

[mylungsareburnin]

I am definitely a skilled one/team member hybrid. If you bitchkill me even once, I will chase you all over the map killing you until you leave the room.

[SICKRAGE]

Hey retro I'm kinda having fun with this topic today so im gonna give your's a go too lol

The extremely impatient car horn honker guy
At first glance it's kindda flattering that some random person wants you to roll with them. At first they seem like a really happy person. Happier then a hungry homo at the back door of a hot-dog factory. If you get in their car, 90% of the time they just show off how horrible their driving is. But it's when you ignore them or decide not to get it in, is when their true colors show. They seem to instantaneously fall into a downward spiral. First by trying to run you over. Then they start TRYING to shoot you. Then I noticed, it turns into spam kicking. And finally all griefs combined. Extremely impatient car horn blowers almost always fall victim to their own circumstances. Soon as you start running them over, shooting them or spam kicking, they get furious and often quit. Don't be this guy. lol

This post has been edited by SICKRAGE on Saturday, Jan 9 2010, 00:57

[Turbo Lag]

Lol, fantastic lists everyone. I won't bother updating the OP with your observations however, better to leave them in your original posts so it'll encourage more discussion.


The M3/Sentinel Driver of the Airport

You're in a FM at set to the Airport, there is always one idiot in the Sentinel attempting to ram and run you over. Always a noob, always misses, usually quite laggy too. One of the noobiest noobs you'll find.

To add to LukeyJB's one...

QUOTE

The Helicopter Camper. These assholes hang ontop of the Airport Hanger near the 3 choppers, wait for someone to go to a chopper and snipe you or RPG you.

The Warehouse Helicopter Camper

They get themselves a heli, fly under the map, and land inside the warehouse next to the choppers and RPG anyone that goes near them, just like the Heli Campers. These types are the worst, and I always end up going under myself to blade their asses back to where they belong.

Tail the Choppers

Noob in an Annihilator, try to get one of the three at the airport, he will dive bomb you hard and somehow manage to take your tail off. Once again, no substance or skill behind the guy. Usually easy to take down with a pistol or so.

Grenade!!!

Obsessed with nades. That's all they do, cook, chuck, explode.

Music Man

Plays crappy wannabe gangsta rap through the mic, always a wannabe gangsta, and in the end all that comes out is a distorted sound which is dreadful. If I ever, ever come across these dicks, I kill them over, and over, and over, and over, and so on.

I'll Tag Along...

This dick will follow you around, doing whatever you do, always getting in your car. Eventually they get themselves killed by other noobs, and will blame it on you and backstab you. They're skills usually very low and they can't really do anything at all.

Gangsta Wannabe

This guy will act all gangsta, but behind the username lies a true noob. They always have mics, and will claim to 'pwn y0 fat a55' if you kill them.

Chicken

He's shoot you randomly, and run for it. Usually good with nades and in car weapons, outside though, dosen't stand a chance.

The Lone Ranger (Probably best describes me)

This guy usually has half decent skills, not the best in anything though, but just enough to kill you if needed. He will fight alone, against everyone if needed. He will stick to his car (In my case, the normal Sultan), and will team up with fellow lone rangers if necessary. His best ability is transporting and driving usually, and will somehow escape from the noobs. Almost a hybrid of the team member and skilled, but not enough of both to comply with either.

The whining noob

This idiot is generally very hostile, and will shoot you on first sight. Generally the noobies type you'll find. They'll shoot you, then kind of make up with you sometime later, will turn into the "tagging along" type, then backstab you. Personally, I take them in car on opposite the drivers side, park ontop of a bridge, so they can't get out, and just leave them there. They deserve it.

EDIT:

The Fireman

Drives around in a bloody firetruck spraying water at people. Hopeless at just about everything so just beware of his cannon.

The Small One

Some like, 10 year old or something who's pretending to be older on his mic by doing a fake deep voice. These guys make me lol.

**** YOU!!111

The ones who swear over the mic constantly over and over again. These guys make me lol.

Driven to Destruction

You're driving a stupid Sultan RS, and you never health it, it goes on fire then you run for a health. Because you're an asshole, I take your health just before you arrive. Why do you do this? I never, ever drive a precious car past it just starting to smoke a tiny bit. It's an indication that it's about die, just like the asshole who's driving it is. If you want to save it, use a health!

I Rolled My Car

You're in a Sultan RS, sometimes I feel nice and go and roll it over for them if they haven't threatened me before. After bashing my own car to destruction, I finally flip the thing over. Then you drive a few blocks following me, then ditch your stupid car for a Turismo or some bull**** like that. **** you.

mylungsareburnin, I too am just like that. I'll never ever shoot first, always stand up to the asses, and I will give you hate for the rest of the game until you or I leave.

This post has been edited by Turbo Lag on Saturday, Jan 9 2010, 01:22

[legendary724]

The Dirty Ditcher

These people are the ones that appear friendly but are scheming deep down. If they find you annoying and you are in their chopper they will fly very far out at sea, sometimes they tell you to get out for a glitch other times they just wait till you inevitably bail or leave the game. If you bail into the sea you will have to leave or swim and hopefully drown before you make it back. Me and my mates are guilty of doing this to annoying players...


The Dirty Ditcher 2

These people dont leave you so far away, these are the less predictable ditchers. You will get in their car when they dont want you in and they will drive somewhere (the broken bridge on Bohan) and put your door right beside a big drop and wait, you will have to get out of the car eventually and you will be met with a large fall paired with a bit of a swim back to land, very annoying and I am also guilty of doing this to annoying children.

[retro213]

Heli-Stalker
• The Guy that just camps on the buildings near the helicopters at the airport (diff) than the one lukey said he just stays there with a launcher and boom, kills when your trying to get a chopper and then he has a sniper so he kills you when your just spawning up.