[Mokrie Dela]

This topic isn't a place to advertise your works - all you can do is to put a link in your sig, and maybe if you're daring, drop hints in your posts.

This is a discussion on writing etc, or at least thats what i thought it is. This corner of the forum is quiet enough that it's unlikely that your posts will not be seen.

There's a few users who wont bother looking at fan fics as they don't like them, so be aware of that.

[cammi]

I forgot to add the link anyway but I updated it. Have you ever made a concept thread. Who has ?

[shiva s]

Alright, guys. So, I'm planning to start a novel. Not sure if it's gonna be a long one or short one but I have the story ready. The story is about an ordinary cab driver who gets into trouble with serious people. I don't wanna spoil you by telling the whole story. But each chapter will focus on both the main character and his enemies. For eg, the first haf of the chapter will narrate about the main character and the second half will narrate about the progress of his enemies. I'm gonna use coloured text to write the second half. I wanna know, if it is allowed here. Thanks.

[cammi]

It should be, it sounds like a spectacular idea.

[Mokrie Dela]

QUOTE (cammi @ Monday, Aug 6 2012, 12:22)

I forgot to add the link anyway but I updated it. Have you ever made a concept thread. Who has ?

Yeah, I've been involved in a couple. We never finished it but Thames City with my fellow Yardie 02fishera, but my HDD went down and i lost the entire story

I have vowed to finish it though..

@Shiva - by novel, do you mean a story which you plan on uploading in its entirety here? Or a book you want to seek to get published? If the latter, don't upload any more than a single chapter, as you will likely destroy any chance of getting it published. They won't touch a story that's already been "published" and posting it here or another forum classifies as self publishing. E-books are a good way to go about self publising - Ziggy told me he made a pdf of "city of lies" and i have toyed with the idea for any further - and original - works of mine.

I'd be careful with coloured text. Too gimmicky, and it WILL destract the reader from the story. Stick with the default text would be my advice. I like the dualistic idea, half the book following the protagonist and half following the enemies. Will the view point change, while the story carries on? That's an interesting idea. It sounds challenging and possibly difficult too, but it might be something fresh and i will certainly give that a read. As i've said, be patient with it - if you're uploading the entire work here, choose your method well; either upload bit by bit (With Justice In Flames, i've actually written twice the amount of chapters i've uploaded - they're awaiting the editing process still), either as you write it (good for feedback and improvement, but it might kill the creativeness of the story) or with a delay so you have a chance to edit and rewrite as required.
Or you can upload it once it's finished and proof read in it's entirety. Most people won't read the whole thing in one sitting, so chapter by chapter would be wise in this instance too.

You've peaked my curiousity with the idea of changing viewpoint, and if you pull it off, my hat will be off.


EDIT: after rereading your post ithink i mis understood. i thought you'd said the first half of the book will be under Travis Bickle the cab driver's viewpoint, and halfway though you'll change to that of his enemies, coming to a climax where the reader might route for BOTH, where you meant the first half of the chapter will be his and the second half theirs. I'm not sure if that will work as well, always having it that way round may make it feel too confined - i've written (and feel free to check out COL and JIF to see the examples) following two different parties that are enemies (Johnny and Niko), and i hope the reader won't see one as the good guy and one as the bad guy, but rather as the same. Spliting each chapter into half and having half as Niko and half as Johnny, with City of Lies at least, would have removed a lot of the tension i'd tried to build up. What if they have a fight or an encounter? You'd write it as one guy's POV then change and rewrite it as the other's - you may find people skipping as they've just read it.

Having the story start with the viewpoint of one guy and, throughout the story, change until it's written from the other guys POV may work better but i think you'd benifit from sticking to the norm of changing view point when need. Have a look at THIS chapter for example. Johnny and Niko both appear in this scene and writing it effectively twice wouldnt work.

Now i'm not saying you can't do it. The story will have to run through but the view point can change - but with the change of viewpoint so should there be a change of narration voice. Write it in the character of that person for example.

The problem will lie, as i've shown in the linked example, in having the two characters interact - whos viewpoint do you follow. if the first half is of "bob" and the second of "fred", how can you convey BOTH man's feelings during the event?

If you can, have a look at "Splinter Cell: Conviction" and "Splinter Cell: Endgame" - (the books) they both tell the same story, but Conviction's from Fisher's point of view, Endgame's from that of the men chasing him.

As i said it's an interesting concept, and one that might be fresh and exciting, but i suspect will require a lot of work. I could be wrong but hey.

/essay

[shiva s]

Thanks both of you. And, thanks once again, Mokrie. Yes, there's gonna be a lot of work. Don't worry I'll start only when I have eveyrthing planned. I will be patient always. Thanks once again.

[Ronmar The Only]

So, I've had this idea of a short story in my head for what could be several years. Or maybe it is simply that I enjoy the concepts of time and telling stories while playing with our notion of time that has been in my head for so long.

Anyways, I was curious if people may look over this rough draft of the beginning of the short story and state how they feel things are going.

QUOTE

The door to the cafe opens, and Ben Adams instinctively raises his head searching. His heart beat quickens before the milliseconds pass and he recognizes that the person entering the door is not Lorrie Shelton. Just as easily, his head drops and pays back attention to his notes on his History of American Cinema class. Their class. It isn’t really necessary for him to spend this much time pouring over the various hand scratched notes from the semester. He knows it all for the most part and enjoys bantering back and forth with the white-haired professor not just over topics pertaining strictly to the class but also to topics within the general realm of the class such as current and not-so-current televisions shows. Sometimes those conversations even venture into the realm of how tcurrent political turmoil and social unrest affects film and like-minded mediums, as well as how those mediums in-turn affect the world. The reason Ben looks over his notes so meticulously and diligently is because last night over a bottle of wine and watching The Godfather he decided that today would be the day he asks Lorrie Shelton out on a date. It wasn’t as if it was a spur of the moment thing that popped into his head over the course of downing the bottle of Pinot Noir, more the realization that there was no longer anything that should prevent him from asking her out. Ben first met Lorrie without necessarily realizing it. Both came into the university as freshmen the same year and even took a class together that fall semester, Intro into Psychology. It was at a party that mutual friends introduced them, and they had one of those, “Hey, don’t I know you from somewhere,” conversations until they discovered that they sat just rows apart in the auditorium for Dr. Sanchez’s class. Of course, both were in relationships at the time, those that stretch between high school and college though flounder once distance and experiences come between them. Just because they were in relationships did not mean that they did not get to know each other a little better. The majority of their interactions were kept to platonic study sessions over their shared class, but every now and then the two would get together for volleyball in the quad with friends. Ben did not take any classes with Lorrie the following semester -- both were unsure if they should schedule a class together and their was an unsaid agreement that if they ever had a class together again, it would be by chance. The door to the cafe opens again, and Ben catches sight of Lorrie Shelton once more and smiles. She has her cellphone up to her head talking away as she scans the room for Ben with her light blue eyes. He stands and waves meeting her gaze. They both smile then she mouths to him “Just a bit longer.” He can wait for at least a few moments more.

I have a few ideas of changes that might need to be made to the structure of the narrative, though I'll keep those to myself for the moment. Hopefully rust doesn't show too much in this snippet.

[SCAR Cheatulies]

QUOTE (Mokrie Dela @ Monday, Aug 6 2012, 12:04)

This topic isn't a place to advertise your works - all you can do is to put a link in your sig, and maybe if you're daring, drop hints in your posts. This is a discussion on writing etc, or at least thats what i thought it is. This corner of the forum is quiet enough that it's unlikely that your posts will not be seen. There's a few users who wont bother looking at fan fics as they don't like them, so be aware of that.

I just wanted to say, this was in a topic that Ziggy made.

QUOTE

Two Chapter flooding! For christ sake, common sense can be used for this. If you post up a chapter, and nobody reads it, does it really seem logical to upload ANOTHER one? What have you achieved? You've bumped up your topic, broken a rule and still, nobody is reading your stuff. Post up a chapter, if nobody reads it, put a shout-out into the Social Club or PM some of your friends to take a peek. (Or even f*cking PM me! I'm constantly trying to give good feedback here.)

[cammi]

has anyone read my updates on Grand Theft Auto Xtra, I wrote the scripts for 2 new missions, can someone please give feedback. Not including that it should be on GTA Series Chat because it shouldn't I asked.

[SCAR Cheatulies]

After reading through the last few pages here on The Social Club topic, I've been inspired to make a story involving various creepypastas. Unlike the last story that I put up on here, this one will be serious and I plan for it to involve multiple chapters, unlike the last story I made which was a comedy and a parody of various things that involved the Gang section of the forums. Even though The Liberty City Militarization Project got a good amount of views IMO (some 200 I think) I didn't get any comments on it, so I assume no one really cared for it, but this next one will be a serious horror story so I think that will get some more interest and I'd like to get some comments on it so I can continue making chapters without having to double post. As for the story itself, it'll be a type of crossover thing where various creepypastas found on the internet will be put together in one universe, and it'll start with a guy trying to survive one of them before gradually increasing in more creepypastas and people being involved the longer the story goes on, starting off with The Haunted Majora's Mask Cartridge being found by another person before he's sucked into the game. I plan for that to then connect to the Slenderman mythos, and after the Slenderman saga of the story I'll figure out more things if the story is successful, but if none of you know what any of that is I highly suggest looking them up on youtube and google if you like horror stories.

[cammi]

QUOTE (SCAR Cheatulies @ Saturday, Aug 11 2012, 14:48)

After reading through the last few pages here on The Social Club topic, I've been inspired to make a story involving various creepypastas. Unlike the last story that I put up on here, this one will be serious and I plan for it to involve multiple chapters, unlike the last story I made which was a comedy and a parody of various things that involved the Gang section of the forums. Even though The Liberty City Militarization Project got a good amount of views IMO (some 200 I think) I didn't get any comments on it, so I assume no one really cared for it, but this next one will be a serious horror story so I think that will get some more interest and I'd like to get some comments on it so I can continue making chapters without having to double post. As for the story itself, it'll be a type of crossover thing where various creepypastas found on the internet will be put together in one universe, and it'll start with a guy trying to survive one of them before gradually increasing in more creepypastas and people being involved the longer the story goes on, starting off with The Haunted Majora's Mask Cartridge being found by another person before he's sucked into the game. I plan for that to then connect to the Slenderman mythos, and after the Slenderman saga of the story I'll figure out more things if the story is successful, but if none of you know what any of that is I highly suggest looking them up on youtube and google if you like horror stories.

Yes, finally someone will write a creepypasta on Writers Discussion. This is what I have been waiting for. Involve some lost episodes, I like them the most.

[LuisBellic]

Deleted it was a sh*tty idea.

This post has been edited by LuisBellic on Sunday, Aug 12 2012, 08:10

[AceRay]

QUOTE (LuisBellic @ Sunday, Aug 12 2012, 15:25)

What do you think? I was also thinking of making it have 6 parts instead.

Well, are you thinking of doing it with Nolan style realism or zany wackiness like the 60s TV show. Maybe a mix of both? The fact you're thinking of Dr Freeze seems to indicate latter (what killed the dinosaurs? The ice age!). Why not get started and lets see how good it is.

This post has been edited by AceRay on Sunday, Aug 12 2012, 02:40

[Eminence]

QUOTE (LuisBellic @ Sunday, Aug 12 2012, 03:25)

I've been kinda obsessed with batman recently and was thinking of writing a trilogy. The first one would be about Bruce's parents being killed and 17 years later he travels to japan to learn the ways of the samurai so he can fight crime and is trained by ras al ghul (similar to Batman Begins but im gonna try to make it different as possible). And upon his return to Gotham the villian would be The Joker. For part 2 it would be about Batman trying to find a serial killer/terrorist who leaves riddles at his crime scenes (It would be my version of the villian 'Riddler'). Meanwhile another batlike figure is terrorizing gotham at night (The Manbat). In Part 3, The final chapter, a mix of villians have escaped Arkham Asylum and plan on taking over Gotham (Bane, Mr. Freeze, and Black Mask). What do you think? I was also thinking of making it have 6 parts instead.

You basically just loosely described the Nolan trilogy, though. There was like, nothing original about what you just posted.

[shiva s]

Hey, guys. Just wanted to know if you're all interested in a Roleplay Game similar to the The Bar?
I promise this won't affect The Bar in any ways.

[AceRay]

QUOTE (shiva s @ Sunday, Aug 12 2012, 16:12)

Hey, guys. Just wanted to know if you're all interested in a Roleplay Game similar to the The Bar? I promise this won't affect The Bar in any ways.

Reveal more to me. What is this role playing going to be about exactly? Fantasy, crime, sci fi? Can't we just try and get the Bar back working, now that the rules are in place properly now and there's a staff account so you could hand it to a couple of people who are active.

[shiva s]

QUOTE (AceRay @ Sunday, Aug 12 2012, 03:44)

QUOTE (shiva s @ Sunday, Aug 12 2012, 16:12) Hey, guys. Just wanted to know if you're all interested in a Roleplay Game similar to the The Bar? I promise this won't affect The Bar in any ways. Reveal more to me. What is this role playing going to be about exactly? Fantasy, crime, sci fi? Can't we just try and get the Bar back working, now that the rules are in place properly now and there's a staff account so you could hand it to a couple of people who are active.

Oh yes. I'm not gonna do it myself but I'll hand it to an active staff. I don't wanna reveal much info about it but it will be just similar to The Bar. The only difference is, the roleplaying location will be different.

[LuisBellic]

QUOTE (Eminence @ Sunday, Aug 12 2012, 02:33)

QUOTE (LuisBellic @ Sunday, Aug 12 2012, 03:25) I've been kinda obsessed with batman recently and was thinking of writing a trilogy. The first one would be about Bruce's parents being killed and 17 years later he travels to japan to learn the ways of the samurai so he can fight crime and is trained by ras al ghul (similar to Batman Begins but im gonna try to make it different as possible). And upon his return to Gotham the villian would be The Joker. For part 2 it would be about Batman trying to find a serial killer/terrorist who leaves riddles at his crime scenes (It would be my version of the villian 'Riddler'). Meanwhile another batlike figure is terrorizing gotham at night (The Manbat). In Part 3, The final chapter, a mix of villians have escaped Arkham Asylum and plan on taking over Gotham (Bane, Mr. Freeze, and Black Mask). What do you think? I was also thinking of making it have 6 parts instead. You basically just loosely described the Nolan trilogy, though. There was like, nothing original about what you just posted.

I edited the idea does it sound so much like Nolans trilogy now?

The first one would be about Batman's orgin and stuff he will only describe his league of shadows training because I dont want it to be too similar to Batman Begins. It would basically be about him fighting crime and stuff but there will be Joker in the story (A more wackier one than The Dark Knight).

Part 2 would be about Batman trying to find a serial killer/terrorist who leaves Riddles at crime scenes. Manbat will also appear.

Part 3 would be about Batman trying to stop a criminal who has escaped from Arkham Asylum (Bane, but a more comic based one than Dark Knight Rises). A scientist whose wife was killed and in his anger he builds a suit which can freeze things and he intends on plunging Gotham into an Ice Age. And another villian Black Mask intends on taking over Gotham.



This post has been edited by LuisBellic on Sunday, Aug 12 2012, 08:13

[Ziggy455]

QUOTE (LuisBellic @ Sunday, Aug 12 2012, 05:43)

QUOTE (Eminence @ Sunday, Aug 12 2012, 02:33) QUOTE (LuisBellic @ Sunday, Aug 12 2012, 03:25) I've been kinda obsessed with batman recently and was thinking of writing a trilogy. The first one would be about Bruce's parents being killed and 17 years later he travels to japan to learn the ways of the samurai so he can fight crime and is trained by ras al ghul (similar to Batman Begins but im gonna try to make it different as possible). And upon his return to Gotham the villian would be The Joker. For part 2 it would be about Batman trying to find a serial killer/terrorist who leaves riddles at his crime scenes (It would be my version of the villian 'Riddler'). Meanwhile another batlike figure is terrorizing gotham at night (The Manbat). In Part 3, The final chapter, a mix of villians have escaped Arkham Asylum and plan on taking over Gotham (Bane, Mr. Freeze, and Black Mask). What do you think? I was also thinking of making it have 6 parts instead. You basically just loosely described the Nolan trilogy, though. There was like, nothing original about what you just posted. I edited the idea does it sound so much like Nolans trilogy now? The first one would be about Batman's orgin and stuff he will only describe his league of shadows training because I dont want it to be too similar to Batman Begins. It would basically be about him fighting crime and stuff but there will be Joker in the story (A more wackier one than The Dark Knight). Part 2 would be about Batman trying to find a serial killer/terrorist who leaves Riddles at crime scenes. Manbat will also appear. Part 3 would be about Batman trying to stop a criminal who has escaped from Arkham Asylum (Bane, but a more comic based one than Dark Knight Rises). A scientist whose wife was killed and in his anger he builds a suit which can freeze things and he intends on plunging Gotham into an Ice Age. And another villian Black Mask intends on taking over Gotham.

Here's a general idea:

Why don't you try and find the parts of Batman that draw you in, and implement them into your own story? Look at the vigilante aspect, look at the characters and their outlooks. Create your own story. Add your own parts to the characters- think of your own plot. Any Batman story you give us has ultimately been done in comic form.

[Eminence]

Ziggy's got the perfect idea. You need to really put a unique spin on it. And I'd say start with just one; not a trilogy.

The problem with yours is the central elements directly correlate to Nolan's trilogy. You can change little specifics all you want, but the overall story remains the same. So you've moved the Joker from part 2 to part 1? Doesn't matter. It's still the same.

Part 1 - Origin story.

Part 2 - A more intense, challenging villain.

Part 3 - A yet still more intense villain, also an escape from prison.

It's just the exact same formula as the Nolan films. The description above sums up both your spin and Nolan's trilogy. It's too similar.