ETAKS
Group: Members
Joined: Oct 29, 2004
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V Rock
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RADIO STATION - 01
VROCK HOSTED BY LAZLOW
Written by ---
Script by Dan Houser and Lazlow Jones
01---Kintaro's V Rock Introduction
02---Judas Priest’s You’ve got Another Thing Comin’
“V Rock till you drop”
03---Love Fist’s Fist Fury
“I flunked school cause I’m hard core!”
04---David Lee Roth’s Yankee Rose
“If you can’t wear a spandex jumpsuit, what can you do?”
05-–-Twisted Sister’s I Wanna Rock
“This is V Rock?”
06---Motley Crue’s Too Young To Fall in Love
“I hope I die before I get old!”
07---Commercial 1 – Patriotism
“Make sure you do the American thing!”
08---Commercial 2 – Love Fist Tour
“Shot your sons!”
09---Quiet Riot’s Cum on Feel the Noise
“Where we’ll peck your eyes out!”
10---Commercial 3 – Exploder: Evacuator Part 2
“I’ll cry when I’m done killin!”
11---The Cult’s She Sells Sanctuary
“Some mutha-fatha V Rock!”
12---Phone call 1: Lazlow versus Cousin Ed
“What’re you like a red neck?”
13---Ozzy Osbourne’s Bark at the Moon
“Willy the Vulture is gonna be there handing out sharp objects.”
14---Commercial 4 - Maibazu Thunder
“Nights of the road, here’s your stallion!”
15---Commercial 5 – Complete the Look
“Wow! You look like a Satanist”
16---Love Fist’s Dangerous Bastard
“New wave this pal!”
17---Commercial 6 - Ammu-Nation
“Actually used when we whooped Australia’s ass!”
18---Iron Maiden’s 2 Minutes to Midnight
“It’s gonna be a “win it before you can pawn it” weekend!”
19---Commercial 7 - The Exploder Survival Knife
“That’ll shut you up!”
20---Phone call 2: Snow Dog YO!
“Black trash bags that’s classy!”
21---Loverboy’s Working for the Weekend
“It’s Lazlow! A. k. a. DJ hard rocker!”
22---Phone call 3: Big Mitch Baker, You hear!
“You’ll be crappin hair bands till Christmas! You hear!”
23---Alcatrazz’s God Bless Video
“AH! Vets are so cranky!”
24---Tesla’s Cumin’ Atcha Live
“If you wake up next to a fat hog in a trailer”
25---Autograph’s Turn up the Radio
“Sissy Sprits your perm! That’s pretty cool!”
26---Megadeth’s Peace Sells
“Only sissies cry!”
27---Commercial 8 - Knife after Dark
“Rated R for retarded”
28---Anthrax’s Madhouse
“Well how you gonna learn to party at school mom?!”
29---Slayer’s Raining Blood
“I about had with this stupid vulture!”
30---FAQ Special: Lazlow gets kicked off the station
"I tell you man you can't stop me right now!"
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*****************************
Kintaro's V Rock Introduction
*****************************
This is what happens when someone has too much time in their hands,
they write the script of their favorite video game. But why write the script
of GTA: VC’s rock radio station? Well because of two reasons. The first is
that I love the songs that are on the station and second I’m a big fan of
Lazlow. Anyway let’s rock!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*JUDAS PRIEST - YOU’VE GOT ANOTHER THING COMIN’*
One life I'm gonna live it up
I'm takin' flight I said I'll never get enough
Stand tall I'm young and kinda proud
I'm on top as long as the music's loud
If you think I'll sit around as the world goes by
You're thinkin' like a fool cause it's a case of do or die
Out there is a fortune waitin' to be had
You think I'll let it go you're mad
You've got another thing comin'
You've got another thing comin'
That's right here's where the talkin' ends
Well listen, listen this night there'll be some action spent
Drive hard I'm callin' all the shots
I got an ace card comin' down on the rocks
If you think I'll sit around while you chip away my brain
Listen I ain't foolin' and you'd better think again
Out there is a fortune waitin' to be had
You think I'll let it go you're mad
You got another thing comin
You got another thing comin'
You got another thing comin'
In this world we're livin' in we have our share of sorrow
Answer now is don't give in, aim for a new tomorrow
Oh so hot no time to take a rest yeah
Act tough ain't room for second best
Real strong got me some security
Hey I'm a big smash I'm goin' for infinity yeah
If you think I'll sit around as the world goes by
You're thinkin' like a fool cause it's a case of do or die
Out there is a fortune waitin' to be had
You think I'll let it go you're mad
You've got another thing comin'
You’ve got another thing comin
You’ve got another thing comin
you’ve got another thing...Owowowow!
You’ve got another thing comin'
Hey comin' now
==============================================================================
LAZLOW: V Rock till you drop! God I never get tired of that one! Hey did you
hear that BJ is gonna be coming back to play for the Mambas, that is
unbelievable! You know I only been in Vice City a few months now, but it’s
clear to me that my opinion is really important to you!
MALE ANNOUCER: New wave this pal! We’re the one and only V Rock!
(Love Fist's Fist Fury begins playing)
LAZLOW: Don’t forget Love Fist are in town right now... Love Fist is in
town... whatever I flunked school cause I’m hard core!
==============================================================================
*LOVE FIST - FIST FURY*
Here we go again
Cruisin in the right side of town
Where the chicks taste like candy, but all the guys look like clowns
Yea! Here’s what I’m gonna do
I’m gonna get and fix some of the best
Driving by in my Porscha, down in the roadhouse to get us some
Love Fist fury, we’re just getting pussy
Our love rockets are too aroused
The girls are going crazy cause we ain't getting lazy
Shooting love fist fuel all around
Six A. M. on the morning after the beast rest up for awhile
Last night saw some ugly fighting brawl
Because the badge mustn’t want us in town
I said “come on guys chill for awhile, join us in our Fist world”
Thank god the badge chose the Love Fist for a drunken crazy wild
Love Fist fury, checkin out all the pussy
Let your love rockets do all the rounds
The girls are going crazy, tonight is getting hazy
Shooting love fist fuel from their mouths
Love Fist fury, we’re just getting pussy
Our love rockets are too aroused
The girls are going crazy cause we ain't getting lazy
Shooting love fist fuel all around
Love Fist fury, we’re just getting pussy
Our love rockets are too aroused
The girls are going crazy cause we ain't getting lazy
Shooting love fist fuel all around
Love Fist fury, we’re just getting pussy
Our love rockets are too aroused
The girls are going crazy cause we ain't getting lazy
Shooting love fist fuel all around
Love Fist fury, we’re just getting pussy
Our love rockets are too aroused
The girls are going crazy cause we ain't getting lazy
Shooting love fist fuel all around
==============================================================================
MALE ANNOUCER: V Rock! (Echo)
==============================================================================
*DAVID LEE ROTH - YANKEE ROSE*
What? Well, let me roll up on to the
Sidewalk and take a look
Yes, Whoa! She's beautiful
I'm talkin' about a Yankee Rose
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha and she looks wild, wild, wild, wild!
Are you ready for the new sensation?
Well, here's the shot heard 'round the world.
All you backroom boys salute when her flag unfurls.
Well, guess who's back in circulation?
Now, I don't know what you may have heard
but what I need right now's the original goodtime girl.
She's a vision from coast to coast, (coast to coast)
sea to shining sea. (sea to shining sea)
Hey, sister, you're perfect host. (Make a toast)
Show me your bright lights and your city lights, all right.
I'm talkin' 'bout the Yankee Rose.
Bright lights in your city lights, all right.
I'm talkin' 'bout it.
When she walks, watch, the sparks will fly,
firecrackin' on the fourth of July.
No sad songs tonight, something's in the air. (Do you feel like this?)
She's a real state of independents.
So pretty when her rockets glare,
still provin' any night that her flag is still there.
She's a vision from coast to coast, (coast to coast)
sea to shining sea. (sea to shining sea)
Hey, sister, you're perfect host. (Make a toast)
Show me your bright lights and your city lights, all right.
I'm talkin' 'bout the Yankee Rose.
Bright lights in your city lights, all right.
I'm in love with the Yankee Rose.
Ah, she's beautiful, alright,
mm, nothin' like her in the whole world.
Yeah, she's right on time, I'm on the case.
Pick up the phone, no time to waste.
She got the beat and here's a little bit comin' your way.
Oh raise 'em up there
Let's see who salutes baby
Little bit, little bit, little bit higher
Here's the National Anthem
Swing 'em from here
I wanna get
A little bit of apple pie man
Bright lights, city lights...
Bright lights, city lights...
==============================================================================
MALE ANNOUNCER: If you can’t wear a spandex jumpsuit, what can you do? This
is V Rock!
==============================================================================
*TWISTED SISTER – I WANNA ROCK*
I wanna rock! (Rock)
I wanna rock! (Rock)
I want to rock (Rock)
I wanna rock! (Rock)
Turn it down you say,
Well all I got to say to you is time, time again I say, "No!"
No! No, No, No, No, No!
Tell me not to play
Well, all I got to say to you when you tell me not to play,
I say, "No!"
No! No, No, No, No, No!
So, if you ask me why I like the way I play it
There's only one thing I can say to you
I wanna rock! (Rock)
I wanna rock! (Rock)
I want to rock (Rock)
I wanna rock! (Rock)
There's a feelin' that
I get from nothin' else and there ain't nothin' in the world
That makes me go!
Go! Go, go, go, go, go!
Turn the power up
I've waited for so long so I could hear my favorite song so,
Let's go!
Go! Go, go, go, go, go!
When it's like this I feel the music shootin' through me
There's nothin' else that I would rather do
I wanna rock! (Rock)
I wanna rock! (Rock)
I want to rock (Rock)
I wanna rock! (Rock)
I wanna rock! (Rock)
Rock (Rock)
Rock (Rock)
I wanna rock! (Rock)
Rock (Rock)
Rock (Rock)
I want to rock (Rock)
Rock (Rock)
Rock (Rock)
I wanna rock! (Rock)
Rock (Rock)
Rock (Rock)
I wanna rock!
I wanna rock! (Rock)
I wanna rock! (Rock)
I want to rock (Rock)
I wanna rock! (Rock)
I wanna rock! (Rock)
Rock (Rock)
Rock (Rock)
I wanna rock! (Rock)
Rock (Rock)
Rock (Rock)
I want to rock (Rock)
==============================================================================
MALE ANNOUNCER: The 100% official home of rebellion! V Rock!
LAZLOW: Alright we got some more rock lined up for ya. But wait! One moment!
I...I think you rather listen to me talk for a while first. That’s what you
get on V Rock, rock and roll and me. I’m not sure which I prefer. Here’s the
Crue.
==============================================================================
*MOTLEY CRUE - TOO YOUNG TO FALL IN LOVE*
You say our love
Is like dynamite
Open your eyes
it's like fire and ice
Well you're killing me
Your love's a guillotine
Why don't you just set me free
Too Young To Fall in Love (Oh I’m too young)
Too Young To Fall in Love (Oh I’m too young)
Too Young To Fall in Love (Too young to fall in love)
(Oh I’m too young)
Too Young To Fall in Love (Oh I’m too young)
Too Young To Fall in Love (Oh I’m too young)
Too Young To Fall in Love (Too young to fall in love)
Run for the hills
We’re both sinners and saints
Not a woman, but a whore
Oh I can taste the hate
Well now I'm killing you
Watch your face turning blue
Not yet a man
Just a punk in the street
Too Young To Fall in Love (Oh I’m too young)
Too Young To Fall in Love (Oh I’m too young)
Too Young To Fall in Love (to fall in love)
(Oh I’m too young)
Too Young To Fall in Love (Much too young)
Too Young To Fall in Love (Oh I’m too young)
Too Young To Fall in Love (Too young to fall in love)
You say our love
Is like dynamite
its no surprise
you've got one-way eyes
Well you're killing me
Your love's a guillotine
Not yet a man
Just a punk in the street
Too Young To Fall in Love (Oh I’m too young)
Too Young To Fall in Love (Oh I’m too young)
Too Young To Fall in Love (to fall in love)
(Oh I’m too young)
Too Young To Fall in Love (Much too young)
==============================================================================
LAZLOW: Thanks guys! That one rocks!
(Oh I’m too young)
Too Young To Fall in Love (Too young to fall in love)
LAZLOW: Here on V Rock the home of the vulture in Vice City. The Vulture is
our mascot, which we need because those idiots, the retards, the guys that
wear the suits in marketing think I can’t carry this station on my own. Well
you’re wrong! I hope I die before I get old! I’m sure I will thanks to this
life of excess I lead.
MALE ANNOUNCER: V Rock! For people who wear nametags to work.
******************************************************************************
*PATRIOTISM (COMMERCIAL)*
MALE VOICE: What makes a real American? A cowboy hat? Enjoying a fine T-bone
steak? Going to a baseball game? Shooting a gun? Maybe it’s the freedom to go
into a poor country and tell them how to do things?! Heh! Those are all great
qualities! But one thing that makes a true patriot is the ability to choose
an American car! When you buy an import you take a hot meal off a hard
working American’s table. (Baby cries) There, there! This poor girl is going
to starve to death, just because you bought a cheaper, more efficient
Maibazu. Without gross symbols of excess, what will Americans have to look up
to? Our great industries is a threaten! Cars, pornography, armaments! And
they need your help! So the next time you buy a car, a piece of adult
literature or a missile defense system! Make sure you do the American thing!
_____________________________________________________________________________
*LOVE FIST (Commercial)*
V ROCK’S MALE ANNOUNCER: Lock up your daughters! (Door is slammed then
locked) Shoot your sons!
BOY: Dad! (Gun fires)
V ROCK’S MALE ANNOUNCER: Because Love Fist is coming to town! (Fist, fist,
fist till morning) The world tour that has been ban through out the world
comes to Vice City. The monsters of rock and roll excess, Love Fist! (The
girls are going crazy cause we are getting lazy shooting love fist fuel all
around) Get ready for a night of death metal love ballads that’ll have you
shoving your fist in the air! It’s the steel hearts, stone cold prostate
tour! Brought to you by Giggle Cream, because dessert should be funny! And
the Maibazu Thunder, because after you get struck by lighting (Lighting
noise) there’s thunder! Come see the pounding rock from the band that brought
you hits like “Shin Stainer”, “Liver Buster” and “Dangerous Man Dead Family”.
Come get love fisted! Love Fist at the Vice City arena! Brought to you by V
Rock!
******************************************************************************
LAZLOW: Welcome back you’re listening to V Rock. Let’s get on with the rock
and roll! I’m Lazlow, Enjoy this one. It’s really special.
==============================================================================
*QUIET RIOT - CUM ON FEEL THE NOISE*
Cum on feel the noise
Girls rock your boys
We’ll get wild, wild, wild,
Wild, wild, wild,
So you think I got an evil mind,
I'll tell you honey
I don't know why
I don't know why
So you think my singing's out of time,
It makes me money
I don't know why
I don't know why anymore
Oh no
So cum on feel the noise
Girls rock your boys
We’ll get wild, wild, wild,
Wild, wild, wild,
Cum on feel the noise
Girls rock your boys
We’ll get wild, wild, wild,
Aoooooooo
So you say I got a funny face,
I got no worries
And I don't know why
I don't know why
I'm a scruff bag well it's no disgrace,
I’m in no hurry
And I don't know why
I don't know why anymore
No, no, no
So cum on feel the noise
Girls rock your boys
We’ll get wild, wild, wild,
Wild, wild, wild,
Cum on feel the noise
Girls rock your boys
We’ll get wild, wild, wild,
Wild, wild (Come on!)
Well you think we have a lazy time,
You should know better
I don't know why
I don't know why
So you say I got a dirty mind,
I'm a mean go getter
I don't know why
I don't know why anymore
Oh no
Cum on feel the noise
Girls rock your boys
We’ll get wild, wild, wild,
Wild, wild, wild,
Cum on feel the noise
Girls rock your boys
We’ll get wild, wild, wild,
Oooooh
Cum on, feel it
Girls rock your boys
We'll get wild, wild, wild, (We’re gonna get wild)
Wild, wild, wild,
Cum on feel the noise (rock it tonight)
Girls rock your boys
We’ll get wild,
==============================================================================
MALE ANNOUNCER: The home of rebellion and the Vulture (squawk)! This is V
Rock! Where rock and roll reign supreme! Where we’ll peck your eyes out!
LAZLOW: This is the 100% official home of rebellion with me Lazlow. The rebel
rouser, hell raiser in chief! That’s right! I’am the master of darkness!
That’s why my name’s Lazlow.
MALE ANNOUNCER: It’s Lazlow on V Rock! The home of all rebellion! Will be
right back!
******************************************************************************
*EXPLODER: EVACUATOR PART 2 (COMMERCIAL)*
NARRATOR: He was a man of peace, living on a quiet farm in North Dakota. Till
one day all hell broke loose! (Gun shots are heard)
SOLDIER: Tim we need you!
TIM: I’m a man of peace, I’m done killing! I wanna raise a family!
SOLDIER: That’s just it Tim! They got your family!
TIM: Nooooooooooo!
NARRATOR: Jack Howitzer is Tim in Exploder! From the heart of America to the
jungles of Cambodia, follow one man’s quest for peace.
TIM: Hoochi Vet is that you?
HOOCHI: Tim I know you come! Just like old days we kill everybody!
(Helicopter is heard)
SOLDIER: Tim they got your wife!
TIM: But I’m not married!
SOLDIER: You are now to America!
NARRATOR: He went in to save his country, but found his family and lost a
friend. (Gun shot)
TIM: Hoochi!
HOOCHI: Tim don’t leave me! You thought me baseball game and how to laugh!
TIM: Nooooooooooo! He would have been a fine American. I’ll cry when I’m done
killin!
NARRATOR: Get your self a body bag, strap your self in, start making friends
the American way! Exploder: Evacuator Part 2! Rated PG may include patriotic
garbage.
******************************************************************************
LAZLOW: Hey it’s V Rock! All the rock you want and some you don’t. I know
what the people want! Some mutha-fatha V Rock!
==============================================================================
*THE CULT - SHE SELLS SANCTUARY*
Oh the heads that turn
Make my back burn
And those heads that turn
Make my back, make my back burn
The sparkle in your eyes
Keeps me alive
And the sparkle in your eyes
Keeps me alive, keeps me alive
The world and the world turns around
The world and the world ya hear
The world drags me down
Oh the heads that turn
Make my back burn
And those heads that turn
Make my back, make my back burn
Yeah
The fire in your eyes
Keeps me alive
And the fire in your eyes
Keeps me alive
I'm sure in her you'll find
The sanctuary
I'm sure in her you'll find
The sanctuary
And the world
The world turns around
And the world and the world
The world drags me down
And the world and the world and the world
The world drags me down
And the world and the world and the world and the world
The world drags me down
And the world
And the world turns around
And the world and the world
Yeah the world drags me down
And the world
Yeah the world turns around
And the world and the world
The world drags me down
==============================================================================
JEZZ TORRENT: This is Jezz Torrent from Love Fist. If you wanna take on the
chin, you’ll remain listening to V Rock.
LAZLOW: Vice City’s home of rock and roll for 75 years. Let’s go to the V-
line. Hello you’re on V Rock.
ED: Dude! You took my job alright! I..I...I got a major beef with you!
LAZLOW: Who is this?
ED: Ed! Maybe you remember me! Now I’m out driving a bus, standing on
unemployment lines getting yelled at by my wife because I don’t make enough
money!
LAZLOW: Look man! The station is taking another direction. It’s heading in
like in a new direction, it happens to be a Lazlow direction.
ED: No! It’s not a new direction, it’s a cheap direction! They’re saving
money on you! You are cheap! Lazlow equals cheap!
LAZLOW: Listen this is rock and roll man! It comes and it goes! It’s better
to burn out than fade away!
ED: So-you’re calling me a burn out! Is that what you’re saying?!
LAZLOW: Well I heard you applied for this job with a resume written on
rolling papers, come on!
ED: Yea-and you sent yours in hand written calligraphy with a bouquet
flowers. That’s not rock and roll man! Rock and roll is a life style! You got
to live it, you got to know! You don’t know a damn thing about music! Twisted
Sister “I Wanna Rock” I came up with those profound lyrics, I helped Dee!
Autograph “Turn up the Radio”! Their talking about me man! Turn up the radio,
turn up Cousin Ed! What’s the mascot’s name for Iron Maiden? Do you even
know? Give me a clue!
LAZLOW: Listen dude! First off, Cousin Ed is a really weak radio name!
What’re you like a red neck?
ED: Wha-What did you do? Let me ask you about high school! Did…Were you in
the high school band?
LAZLOW: No!
ED: You were in the band? Weren’t you?
LAZLOW: yes!
ED: Yea! While you were learning the Star Spangle Banner, I was in a garage
drummin to Def Leppard songs!
LAZLOW: Ah listen; I know who the mascot for Iron Maiden is!
ED: Who!?
LAZLOW: It’s a puppy!
ED: No! His name is Eddy! Cousin Eddy, Where do you think it came from?
Cousin Ed! Eddy! Iron Maiden! Put two and two together my friend!
LAZLOW: Listen that was old rock! This is new rock man! You got to step aside!
ED: New rock! I don’t even use the playlist! You probably have a playlist; I
rolled mine into a big fatty and smoked it!
LAZLOW: Listen! I’m a rock station DJ ok! Let’s get some rock severed up!
This is V Rock!
MALE ANNOUNCER: V Rock!
==============================================================================
*OZZY OSBOURNE - BARK AT THE MOON*
Screams break the silence
Waking from the dead of night
Vengeance is boiling
He's returned to kill the light
Then when he's found who he's looking for
Listen in awe and you'll hear him
Bark at the moon
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha...
Years spent in torment
Buried in a nameless grave
Now he has risen
Miracles would have to save
Those that the beast is looking for
Listen in awe and you'll hear him
Bark at the moon
Hey yeah, bark at the moon
They cursed and buried him along with shame
And thought his timeless soul had gone (gone)
In empty burning hell - unholy one
But he's returned to prove them wrong (so wrong)
Ooh, yeah baby
Howling in shadows
Living in a lunar spell
He finds his heaven
Spewing from the mouth of hell
Those that the beast is looking for
Listen in awe and you'll hear him
Bark at the moon
Hey yeah, bark at the moon
Hey yeah, bark at the moon
Oh, oh yeah, bark at the moon
Hooooooooowl!
==============================================================================
LAZLOW: Yea! Hey don’t forget this weekend, all weekend long it’s a crash and
burn weekend! Willy the Vulture is gonna be there handing out sharp objects.
It is gonna rock! We’re gonna have to take a break right now. But we’ll be
back in a few short seconds and maybe even give you an opportunity to win a
vulture T-shirt. Don’t go away!
******************************************************************************
*MAIBAZU THUNDER (COMMERCIAL)*
(Car engine is turned on)
MALE VOICE: Nights of the road, here’s your stallion! (Horse whinny)
The car for freedom! (Freedom) The car for hot excitement! (Excitement) The
car for a man who’s alone against the elements! (The Maibazu Thunder)The
pride is back! It’s the power of a compact! (It looks small but it’s so big)
Fuel injected! (Inject me) Maibazu Thunder! On the tall road of life, you
have to pay to prove you can! Live the emotion of an individual! (Thunder)
The awesome power of nature, distill into one vehicle! (Wow) Because after
you get struck by lighting (Lighting noise) there’s thunder! (The Maibazu
Thunder)
______________________________________________________________________________
*COMPLETE THE LOOK (COMMERCIAL)*
MALE VOICE: Feather hair, pentagram necklace, something missing? (Complete
the look) Complete the look with a pair of crotch hugging, slightly too
short, acid wash, skin tight jeans at Vice City’s one stop shop for the rebel
who sets his own style! (Wow! You look like a Satanist) Complete the look!
******************************************************************************
==============================================================================
*LOVE FIST – DANGEROUS BASTARD*
Yell
Ahhhhhhhhh!
Yell!
Come on now!
Let me see ya!
Well, I'm a dangerous bastard
And I am bullet-proof
I take life as a lesson
Sometimes I get flu
The devil looks into my eye
And he makes my voice go high
Is there nothing in these eyes
That I need to know
Is it true you like my curl
Do you think we look like girls
Would it cause a section block
If you saw our great big socks
Ahhhhhhhh!
Let me see ya
I keep drivin' faster
Goin through the roof
I wanna run a delicatessen
That don't make me a poof
Action, camera, lipstick lights
I fit in Mercedes's tights
No one knows that I play guitar
Wearing her red bra
Is it true you like my curl
Do you think we look like girls
Would it cause a section block
If you saw our great big socks
Thank you, thank you
Good Evening
==============================================================================
MALE ANNOUNCER: New wave this pal! We’re the one and only V Rock!
******************************************************************************
*AMMU-NATION (COMMERCIAL)*
MALE VOICE: The store leading the fight against communism is having a blow
out sale! Ammu-Nation has a wide array of peacemakers! Come by Ammu-Nation on
Militia-Mondays, exercise your second Amendment right and get 10% off all
armor piercing bullets. We’re the only gun store that let’s you try before
you buy it! Need anti-tank missile? We’ve got’em! Flamethrowers? Oh yeah!
No credit, no problem! No money down, 90 days, same as cash. Shot now, pay
later! If you’re in the 10 minute waiting period fire off a few rounds at the
Ammu-Nation gun range, featuring faces of commies paint coats! Come by
Ammu-Nation and register to win an anti-aircraft gun actually used when we
whooped Australia’s ass! This weekend is the Ammu-Nation Film Festival with
free screening of the documentary Red Dawn! Ammu-Nation protecting your
rights!
******************************************************************************
LAZLOW: Hey here’s another track! Remember it’s gonna be a “win it before you
can pawn it” weekend! I love to give stuff away at this radio station,
especially if the record company gave it to us in exchange to play their
songs. Rock and roll!
==============================================================================
*IRON MAIDEN – 2 MINUTES TO MIDNIGHT*
Kill for gain or shoot to maim
But we don't need a reason
The Golden Goose is on the loose
And never out of season
Some blackened pride still burns inside
This shell of bloody treason
Here's my gun for a barrel of fun
For the love of living death.
The killer's breed or the demon's seed,
The glamour, the fortune, the pain,
Go to war again, blood is freedom's stain,
But don't you pray for my soul anymore.
2 minutes to midnight
The hands that threaten doom.
2 minutes to midnight
To kill the unborn in the womb.
The blind men shout let the creatures out
We'll show the unbelievers
The napalm screams of human flames
Of a prime time Belsen feast...YEAH!
As the reasons for the carnage cut their meat and lick the gravy,
We oil the jaws of the war machine and feed it with our babies.
The killer's breed or the demon's seed,
The glamour, the fortune, the pain,
Go to war again, blood is freedom's stain,
But don't you pray for my soul anymore.
2 minutes to midnight
The hands that threaten doom.
2 minutes to midnight
To kill the unborn in the womb.
The body bags and little rags of children torn in two
And the jellied brains of those who remain to put the finger right on you.
As the madmen play on words and make us all dance to their song,
To the tune of starving millions to make a better kind of gun.
The killer's breed or the demon's seed,
The glamour, the fortune, the pain,
Go to war again, blood is freedom's stain,
But don't you pray for my soul anymore.
2 minutes to midnight
The hands that threaten doom.
2 minutes to midnight
To kill the unborn in the womb.
Midnight..
==============================================================================
LAZLOW: I’ll tell ya, I must be having a bad hair day today. I mean I live
that life of a rock n roll DJ 24/7! So sometime I’m not looking all that
great and wake up in weird places but I always look moody. So anyway today
check this out, I got turn down for a date by a waitress! Can you believe
that! I mean who would turn down me for a date? You’re a waitress baby! Not a
megastar! Bring me some ketchup honey! Some people just don’t know talent
when they see it or hear it!
MALE ANNOUNCER: While other stations are playing this! (Harp plays) We’re
playing this! (Guitar plays) V Rock!
LAZLOW: We’re gonna take a break and then hit the phones really hard with are
heads! Oh yea! And remember if your request is on our playlist, I might just
play it if you call in.
******************************************************************************
*THE EXPLODER SURVIVAL KNIFE (COMMERCIAL)*
MALE VOICE: It’s the knife that saved America! If you liked the film
Exploder, you’ll love this enormous commemorate survival knife! In the handle
you’ll find all the things you’ll need in any wilderness, disasters situation
or the jungle of your backyard! It comes complete with fishing line, needle
and thread for sowing gashes back together and an incredible useful endurable
toothpick!
HOOCHI: Tim go on with out me! I got taffy stuck in tooth!
TIM: It’s ok Hoochi! Try this! (Knife noise)
MALE VOICE: For those unplanned extended stays in the jungle, there’s a saw
for building your own hut, toilet paper and a fold out woman for company!
As well as a serrated blade that can kill a man before he can scream!
MAN: (Knife is swung) Aggh..
TIM: That’ll shut you up!
MALE: The Exploder Survival Knife! It’s the knife that saved America! Now it
can save you!
TIM: This knife killed 25 thousand people in Cambodia, now you can too!
******************************************************************************
LAZLOW: Be sure to stop by Complete the Look to shoplift your self a V Rock
vulture t-shirt, they kick ass! Alright going to the phones! Who’s this?
SNOW DOG: Yo man this is Snow Dog!
LAZLOW: Snow Dog? What kinda name is that?!
SNOW DOG: Yo! You’re one to ask LAZLOW!
LAZLOW: I mean it’s just kinda weird, I mean especially since there’s no snow
in Vice City. Anyway! What are you doing out there today Snow Dog?!
SNOW DOG: Yo I’m gonna wallpaper my room with black trash bags!
LAZLOW: Black trash bags that’s classy! Make sure you spray paint V Rock
across it your mom will love that one! Here’s some more nonstop help me I’m
unemployed rock!
(Loverboy's Working for the Weekend starts to play)
JEZZ TORRENT: I'm Jezz Torrent and this is V Rock! Keep on rockin!
==============================================================================
*LOVERBOY – WORKING FOR THE WEEKEND*
Everyone's watching, to see what you will do
Everyone's looking at you, oh
Everyone's wondering, will you come out tonight
Everyone's trying to get it right, get it right
Everybody's working for the weekend
Everybody wants a little romance
Everybody's goin' off the deep end
Everybody needs a second chance, oh
You want a piece of my heart
You better start from the start
You wanna be in the show
Come on baby lets go
Everyone's looking to see if it was you
Everyone wants you to come through
Everyone's hoping it'll all work out
Everyone's waiting they're holding out
Everybody's working for the weekend
Everybody wants a little romance
Everybody's goin' off the deep end
Everybody needs a second chance, oh
You want a piece of my heart
You better start from the start
You wanna be in the show
Come on baby lets go
Hey!
You want a piece of my heart
You better start from the start
You wanna be in the show
Come on baby lets go!
You want a piece of my heart
You better start from the start
You wanna be in the show
Come on baby lets go!
==============================================================================
LAZLOW: Alright! It’s Lazlow on V Rock! Let’s go to the V-phones! Hello it’s
your big day; you’re on live with Lazlow!
MITCH BAKER: Hey son! Who is this?
LAZLOW: Ah...Umm... It’s Lazlow! A. k. a. DJ hard rocker!
MITCH BAKER: I’m glad to hear it, but I thought this was a rock station son!
And all I’m hearing is girl’s music! What’re you doin? You got personal
problems you sort’em out son! But don’t drag the rest of us down with ya, you
hear!
LAZLOW: Now-now hold on pal! I’m playing the best music in Vice City!
MITCH BAKER: No! You hold on son! This is Mitch Baker here! Big Mitch Baker!
You play something hard real soon or I’m gonna come by the station and shove
that sissy soft rock crap so far down your throat, you’ll be crappin hair
bands till Christmas! You hear!
LAZLOW: Ahhh...Ok!
MITCH BAKER: Cause I didn’t fight, and maim and kill for this damn country,
so I can hear grown men abusing the uniform of long hair and leather with
this damn awful wailing! I wanna rock! Now good day sir.
LAZLOW: AH! Vets are so cranky! If you don’t like the music start your own
radio station. It’s easy!
==============================================================================
*ALCATRAZZ - GOD BLESS VIDEO*
Lets take a plane and go somewhere exotic
To play with a non-descript song
We'll shoot all the crotch shots for 12 year old hopefuls
To make you a real man my son
Ahhhh real man my son
Some cheap kid from Birmingham
Blessed with an accent
That pours like the darkest brown ale
Just one more puppet, piss elegant marionette
He's just a fast buck for sale
Ahhhh fast buck for sale
Don't you know that God blessed video
We know that God blessed video
Break out the cameras that re-shape my face
And get someone to carve up my hair
If you can't beat them, you might as well join 'em
And be glad to say you were there
Ahhhh say you were there
Don't you know that God blessed video
We know that God blessed video
We know that God blessed video
Don't you know that God blessed video
We know that God blessed video
We know that God blessed video
==============================================================================
MALE ANNOUNCER: If you wake up next to a fat hog in a trailer, you’re livin
the life of V Rock! (Oink, oink)
==============================================================================
*TESLA - CUMIN’ ATCHA LIVE*
Ow!
I'm a mean machine; I'm the kind you don't wanna meet
My middle name is trouble; I'm a danger in the street
My motors in overdrive, I got my pedal to the floor
Never get enough, always comin' back for more yeah yeah
Here I come, better step aside
Here I come, I'm comin' atcha live, comin' atcha live
I'm the one you want, I never give a warning twice
Anything could happen like the rollin' of the dice - now!
Here I come, you better step aside
Here I come, comin' atcha live
Comin' at you live, comin' atcha live
Comin' at you live, comin' atcha live
Comin' at you live, oh here I come
Come on!
Comin' at you live, I'm comin' atcha live
Comin' at you live, comin' atcha live
Comin' at you live, oh here I come
Comin' at you live, step aside, oh step aside
Ow! Ow! Oh yeah, here I come, here I come!
==============================================================================
LAZLOW: Alright welcome back! Comin up we got a special treat for you! The
Lazlow mega-music marathon! Where I play two records back to back and then
some commercials and then two more records!
(Autograph’s Turn up the Radio starts to play)
LAZLOW: Oh yeah! And remember if you wanna get a great new hair style,
Sissy Sprits is probably the way to go. Either that or a perm... or both.
Sissy Sprits your perm! That’s pretty cool! That’s what I got and it works
for me! Anyway it’s time for Lazlow mega-music marathon! Let’s start off with
this one.
==============================================================================
*AUTOGRAPH - TURN UP THE RADIO*
Turn it up!
Yeah!
I'm working hard, you're working too
We do it every day
For every minute I have to work
I need a minute of play
Day in day out all week long
Things go better with rock
The only time I turn it down
Is when I'm sleepin it off
Turn up the radio
I need the music, gimmie some more
Turn up the radio
I wanna feel it got to gimmie some more
Now listen!
I wanna shake, I wanna dance
So count it off a-one two three
I feel the beat, I'm in a trance
No better place to be
Daytime night-time, anytime
Things go better with rock
I'm goin' twenty four hours a day
I can't seem to stop
Turn up the radio
I need the music, gimmie some more
Turn up the radio
I wanna feel it got to gimmie some more
Turn up the radio
I wanna feel it got to gimmie some more
Turn up the radio
I need the music, gimmie some more
Yeah!
Turn up the radio
I wanna feel it got to gimmie some more
Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
Turn up the radio
Come on!
I need the music, gimmie some more
Everybody
Turn up the radio
Turn it up!
I wanna feel it got to gimmie some more
(Whoooooooooooooooooooo!)
Turn up the radio
Turn it up!
I need the music, gimmie some more
(Gimmie some more)
Turn up the radio
______________________________________________________________________________
*MEGADETH - PEACE SELLS*
What do you mean, "I don't believe in God"?
I talk to him every day.
What do you mean, "I don't support your system"?
I go to court when I have to.
What do you mean, "I can't get to work on time"?
I got nothing better to do
And, what do you mean, "I don't pay my bills"?
Why do you think I'm broke? Huh?
If there's a new way,
I'll be the first in line.
But, it better work this time.
What do you mean, "I hurt your feelings"?
I didn't know you had any feelings.
What do you mean, "I ain't kind"?
I'm just not your kind.
What do you mean, "I couldn't be president, of the United States of America"?
Tell me something, it's still "We the people", right?
If there's a new way
I'll be the first in line,
But, it better work this time.
Can you put a price on peace?
Peace,
Peace sells,
Peace,
Peace sells,
Peace sells, but who's buying?
Peace sells, but who's buying?
Peace sells, but who's buying?
Peace sells, but who's buying?
Peace sells, but who's buying?
Peace sells, but who's buying?
Peace sells, but who's buying?
Peace sells, but who's buying?
Peace sells, but who's buying?
Peace sells, but who's buying?
Peace sells, but who's buying?
Peace sells, but who's buying?
No, peace sells...
Peace sells
==============================================================================
MALE ANNOUNCER: Only sissies cry! (Boo, woo) Real men stand in the rain and
listen to this! (Thunder noise) V, V, V, V, V, V Rock!
******************************************************************************
*KNIFE AFTER DARK (COMMERCIAL)*
MALE VOICE: He was just the boy next door…
OLD MAN: Hi! Well hello there Danny! I didn’t know it was hockey season.
BOY: Hey can I borrow a knife!
MALE VOICE: A deadly curse, a deranged killer, a small town in tears! Knife
After Dark rated R for Retarded.
******************************************************************************
LAZLOW: You know if one more mom calls complaining, “My son listened to your
station then he flunked out of school wah, wah, wah!” Well how you gonna
learn to party at school mom?!
MALE ANNOUCER: V Rock!
LAZLOW: And now for part two of the music marathon! Hold on tight!
==============================================================================
*ANTHRAX – MADHOUSE*
White coats to bind me, out of control
I live alone inside my mind
World of confusion, air filled with noise
Who says that my life's such a crime?
Trapped, in this nightmare
I wish I'd wake
As my whole life begins to shake
Four walls surround me
An empty gaze
I can't find my way out of this maze
'Cause I don't care
Fall in, fall out
Gone without a doubt, help me!
I can't take the blame
They don't feel the shame
It's a Madhouse
Or so they claim
It's a Madhouse
Oh, am I insane?
My fears behind me, what can I do
My dreams haunt my sleep at night
Oh no, won't learn their lesson, white fills my eyes
And only then they see the light
Trapped, in this nightmare
I wish I'd wake
As my whole life begins to shake
Four walls surround me
An empty gaze
I can't find my way out of this maze
'Cause I don't care
Fall in, fall out
Gone without a doubt, help me!
I can't take the blame
They don't feel the shame
It's a Madhouse
Or so they claim
It's a Madhouse
Oh, am I insane?
Trapped, in this nightmare
I wish I'd wake
As my whole life begins to shake
Four walls surround me
An empty gaze
I can't find my way out of this maze
'Cause I don't care
Fall in, fall out
Gone without a doubt, help me!
I can't take the blame
They don't feel the shame
It's a Madhouse
Or so they claim
It's a Madhouse
Oh, am I insane?
______________________________________________________________________________
*SLAYER - RAINING BLOOD*
Trapped in purgatory
A lifeless object, alive
Awaiting reprisal
Death will be their acquisition
The sky is turning red
Return to power draws near
Fall into me, the sky's crimson tears
Abolish the rules made of stone
Pierced from below, souls of my treacherous past
Betrayed by many, now ornaments dripping above
Awaiting the hour of reprisal
Your time slips away
Raining blood
From a lacerated sky
Bleeding its horror
Creating my structure
Now I shall reign in blood!
(Lighting followed by rain)
==============================================================================
LAZLOW: You know I chose those two myself! I’m sick of people calling up and
saying I don’t have a passion for music and that I have a face for radio.
What’s that about?!
MALE ANNOUCER: While other station’s listeners are at school, (Piano plays)
we’re shoplifting! (Guitar plays) V Rock! (Echo)
LAZLOW: I about had with this stupid vulture! He gets more air time than I
do! Who cares about a stupid bird!
*FAQ SPECIAL: LAZLOW GETS KICKED OFF THE ROCK STATION*
LAZLOW: So hey! How did I do? Do I sound ok? Hey! Do..do I look ok? What do
you think? I got a meet this girl later and check this out, she's dating my
best friend! Heh-how cool is that? I tell you man, you can't stop me right
now! Since I got this gig, I'm a one man-rocking-love-machine! LAZLOW is
unquenchable! I've had so many chicks this month, most of them can't even
remember! And I gotta ask for a raise, I need more money if doing this sort
of thing in a studio. I'm the star of the show man! All they say to me is
"Talk more about the vulture, say the vulture'll peck your eyes out!" screw
the vulture man! I'm a about rock n roll! How many chicks did the vulture get
last week? I hate that freakin vulture! I'am the star, and they think they
can get away with paying me less than the guy who's job I took! I'm Lazlow
man!...What was that?....Wha-I can't hear you!...Then turn the mic off geez!
....Sorry didn't mean to polute your studio!....WHAT?! stop talking?!...But
that's my job!...(Lazlow's voice is now heard away from the mic) Oh yea! if
I weren't a rocker can I do this? (Glass is shattered) Oh yea! I've trashed
hotel rooms! Oh yea I'm whacked on cough syrup man! Ohhh! Watch out for me!
Yea ohhh! Ok, I'll leave, I'll leave!... Yea!
==============================================================================
==============================================================================
==============================================================================
This post has been edited by MetalGrand on Nov 25 2004, 00:31
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GTA: Vice City
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