[Cashy]

The rising sand fills the air, what's happening? You can't see.

What's happened? You can't tell.

Did it hit the proverbial? f*ck, you don't know, do you.

Should I be scared? Or should I be ready? You tell me.

Am I all there? Nothing missing? You can't feel much, but it seems too be all there.

Should I check on the others? Yeah, you should. But you can't move cause you fear the shots you won't catch in the back if you move.

Can I see any imminent threats? Can't you smell the burning oil and fuel? That Rover is a time bomb. Move out, but careful of the imaginary bullets.

What the f*ck is going on, why don't I know?! You could think it has something to do with the figures in the distance. They are getting closer by the second.

I should find better cover, I'm moving. Bad move, jack...

sh*t, what was that?! Check your leg mate, and take a breather. You're gonna fall down now.

Christ I've been shot! No sh*t. You're near enough f*cked now, son.

Oh god, he's gonna kill me..! Don't expect me too give you a life flash when you've got a gun in your hand.

I can't kill him!! He'd do the exact same too you - 16 pounds of pressure on that trigger.. Go on, treat yourself. It's not time too check out yet.

I killed him.. It'll get easier. Trust me..

[Ziggy455]

A short little schizophrenic piece. It had this sort of 'Revolver' quality to it. Somehow I believe this is what all characters have going through their heads most of the time. A short nice little clever piece, a few typos but nothing worth riding you about.

Nice one!

[Cashy]

Cheers for the feedback Zig, good too hear from you also mate

Yeah I know! I'm a bit rusty!

This is actually originated from a mate of mine who went too Afghanistan around August last year, and the thoughts that went through his head when he came under attack. He didn't kill anyone, before anyone asks, but I had a similar dream the other night. Ironically, I saw Revolver the next day

[Ziggy455]

QUOTE (Cashy @ Saturday, Mar 17 2012, 23:29)

Cheers for the feedback Zig, good too hear from you also mate Yeah I know! I'm a bit rusty! This is actually originated from a mate of mine who went too Afghanistan around August last year, and the thoughts that went through his head when he came under attack. He didn't kill anyone, before anyone asks, but I had a similar dream the other night. Ironically, I saw Revolver the next day

The whole Revolver theme kind of hit me with the double standards persona. One is calm, one is irrational. Much like Jake in the movie Revolver.

I've been away for a bit mate, haven't been writing much besides something which I hold very personal and will be sending away to a publisher, but I've decided to get back here and start up a few shorts. Good to know some of the good writers are still around.

[Cashy]

Now I look over it, it reminds me a lot of the elevator scene from Revolver, but the tables are turned. Didn't really think of it the first time.

Oh thats great news man, I'm glad you gonna be starting up anything old? I'd love for you to do your Friday series again, I still love it. And as for the good writer's bit? Depends who you mean bro

[Ziggy455]

QUOTE (Cashy @ Sunday, Mar 18 2012, 15:24)

Now I look over it, it reminds me a lot of the elevator scene from Revolver, but the tables are turned. Didn't really think of it the first time. Oh thats great news man, I'm glad you gonna be starting up anything old? I'd love for you to do your Friday series again, I still love it. And as for the good writer's bit? Depends who you mean bro

I've been toying around with my Portland Chase series, and my friday series too. Although both need a gross f*cking proofread as when I look back it all looks terrible.

And by good writers I mean you bro, and Unvirginiser. All the OLD writers, it seems that lately all we're getting is young kids who want to do poorly written script fanfics.

[Cashy]

Still need too check your Portland series out bro, but please restart the Friday series again and I'll love you forever.

Yeah I have noticed that a lot of fanfics appear on here, but they do need a lot of work! What is happening to this forum

Anyway, nice to have you back mate <3

[Ziggy455]

QUOTE (Cashy @ Sunday, Mar 18 2012, 18:29)

Still need too check your Portland series out bro, but please restart the Friday series again and I'll love you forever. Yeah I have noticed that a lot of fanfics appear on here, but they do need a lot of work! What is happening to this forum Anyway, nice to have you back mate <3

Likewise man,