Alrighty I have figured everything out, I had to edit my material in GIMS and not the default 3dsMax material editor, silly mistake but im new to 3dsMax, forgive me for my nooblect
I have meow got my head working ing-ame and textured, its still a little shiny in some spots but i think i can figure that out with my spec levels now that i can change them, my model had no eyes so i will wait until the head rigging tutorial shows up, super excited for that, im guessing removing hair is as simple as replacing the model with nothing or a dummy and if its a tex i can just use something transparent?
thanks to everyone who helped me in this thread and the original, GTA FORUMS
http://www.gtaforums.com/index.php?showtopic=481411 . I have posted pics below, THANKS AGAIN GUYS! Without you i would never have figured it out!