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 Assassins Creed : Paradise

 Welcome To Paradise
 
cammi  
Posted: Monday, Jul 9 2012, 19:07
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PROJECT A HAS COMMENCED !
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Prologue


23rd September 1998,Abstergo Tower

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"The animus, its done " echoed along the 4th floor. Dr Avery Lazeski suddenly burst into life and dashed from his office to the animus room. He shoved his way towards the group of scientists, they surrounded what looked like a long metal table. He glared at it in shock.

Lazeski: " What is this ? It is nothing like the design."

Scientist "Well what did you expect? the design was a mess. What the hell is bluetonium"

Lazeski "Its what lets you see the genetic ancestory dna of the subjects"

Scientist :"Oh, that stuff. The package we were given were didnt have a label. It is being activated now. Bluetonium, you are crazy "

Lazeski got a grip of the scientist and threw him at the window that surrounded the whole of the floor. It shattered and glass sprayed all around the room. Lazeski lifted his lab coat to cover his face until the glass hit the floor. The rest of the scientists pretended to do work around the animus which was making a loud bleeping noise.

A blue laser light appeared going down the animus, in a flash a laptop mechanically came out of the left side of the animus. It was far too advanced for the 90s, infact far too advanced for the present. Lazeski smiled and walked over to the laptop.It turned itself on, he bashed his login on the keyboard. A woman was brought into the room, she started to shake. The rest of the scientists placed her on to the animus. A display apperared above her head.

Lazeski : " It should be easy to use, just imagine you playing a playstation "

Woman : "Please dont hurt me "

Lazeski : What sort of man would I be if I hurt you "

Woman : " What is going on "

Lazeski : We are just going to have a look into your DNA.

Woman : Okay then but whats in it for me ?

Lazeski : Riches

Woman : Lets do it then by the way, my name is Karen Johnson

Lazeski : Just lie back and you will feel a small bit of pain in your neck.

The laptop screen flashed, a name came up... Lois McAtherton - Born 1960.

Lazeski : Lois McAtherton, does that mean anything to you.

Karen : No

Lazeski : Its your mother

Karen : Donna Johnson is my mother.

Lazeski : Adoption, it must be adoption.

Karen: What the f*ck, this cannot be real.

Lazeski : Im so sorry, I am adopted myself I know how it feels.

Karen : At the end of this thing, can you tell me why she put me up for adoption?

Lazeski : If it is what you want... All you have to do in the animus is keep your mother alive.

Karen : You mean like stop her getting killed. What if she dies?

Lazeski: You will have to resynchronize to the last memory

Karen: So how do I know what to do?

Lazeski: You just will, you will do what she did. What she thinks, you will do.

Karen: But what if I don't do what she did.

Lazeski: Its not possible for you to not do what she did

Karen: Well I am ready to do this then.

Lazeski typed on the keyboard and the animus made another beeping noise. Karen started to violently shake, Lazeski stopped the machine.

Lazeski: Are you okay?

Karen: What just happened, my head hurts ?

Lazeski: I dont know.

A Scientist: You have it on maximum settings, that isn't recommended until the subject is used to the animus.

Lazeski: Okay then. Karen, are you ready to try again.

Karen: Yes, that's fine.

Lazeski activated the animus, the whole room went silent as a strobe like flash emitted from the animus.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Preview of Chapter 1 - The Huntress and The Freebird

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The Huntress

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The Freebird


Assassins Hideout, Los Santos - 1978

Lois clutched onto the gun like it was her life, this was her initiation in to The Assassins Motorcycle Club. All she had to do was pull the trigger, kill the innocent man tied to the chair.

Lois : I cant do it, I really cant.

Alias: You need to kill him.

Lois : He is an innocent man.

Alias: You dont even know the half of it.

Lois: What do you mean?

Alias: Last night, he killed an innocent girl in an alleyway

Lois blew her fringe from over her eyes. She secured her finger over the trigger.

Lois: I still cant do it.

Alias: The night before, he drove straight over a group of Elvis impersonators.

Lois let out a small giggle but Alias didn't notice it. She pulled the trigger slightly, it just needed a little more force to fire.

Alias: He is a Templar.

Lois fully pulled the trigger, the bullet spun through the air and made its way into the Templar's head. The wall behind was splashed with blood. Alias smiled and took the gun out of Lois's hand.

Alias: You are in, go see Roxy downstairs.

Lois: Great, do you want me to clean up here?

Alias: Nah, Roxy can do it later,

The door creaked open, Roxy entered the room in a red dress, with a Tec9 on her belt.

Roxy: I can do what later ?

Alias: Clean up this mess

Roxy: Okay. Who did the head shot, into the brain?

Lois: Me

Roxy: Nice...

Alias: Have you got anything for Lois to do.

Roxy: Yeah. You can have my old bike Lois.

Alias: Really, the Huntress? That is the best bike I ever seen.

Roxy: So you dont like The Freebird

Alias: Its different, I dont think pink is a good colour for us. Its too attention grabbing.

Roxy: Right, Lois can have The Freebird, I will have The Huntress back.

Lois: So whats on the agenda.

Roxy: The bikes got a little scratched on the last road trip, we got them fixed at a garage. But he wants a lot more money than he first asked for. We got to show him what we are made of.

Lois and Roxy left the hideout. Roxy sprinted to the bikes. Slowly and carefully, Lois followed her. Roxy mounted The Huntress.



This post has been edited by cammi on Friday, Jul 13 2012, 21:20
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cammi  
Posted: Tuesday, Jul 10 2012, 22:23
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PROJECT A HAS COMMENCED !
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The prologue added
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xGhostx  
Posted: Thursday, Jul 12 2012, 05:03
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...
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It's Assassins's Creed.
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AceRay  
Posted: Thursday, Jul 12 2012, 05:57
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Dissapointment implies that you were somewhat respected before
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Make sure the real chapters are longer, that prologue didn't really get me interested. You need to have the characters developed and interesting, something I'm not getting here.
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cammi  
Posted: Thursday, Jul 12 2012, 22:30
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prolougue finished.when uploaded, chapter 1 will be at least 4 times longer than the prologue.
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Mokrie Dela  
Posted: Saturday, Jul 14 2012, 08:02
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МОКРЫЕДЕЛA
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QUOTE (AceRay @ Thursday, Jul 12 2012, 05:57)
Make sure the real chapters are longer, that prologue didn't really get me interested. You need to have the characters developed and interesting, something I'm not getting here.

The bit about bluetonium kinda turned me away tbh. Im getting the feel that one guy designed it and the other made it but changed the design. If that's the case and bluetonium was so important for the animus to function, why would one guy not know what it is?
Also - and this is personal opinion - I'm not liking the combination of gta universe and assassin's creed's.
Also I don't understand why the feller threw the scientist. If he's angry or supposed to be an asshole, it feels too sudden with no indication. There's no insight to the characters IMO, and Karen - her self introduction seems forced. It feels as if the guy is a stranger and doesn't know anyone, and that's tsar my attention away from the story. I see potential here but I also see a lot of flaws. I think to need to take a good look and ask some questions, especially with the characters and their interactions
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