[ThePinkFloydSound]

QUOTE (roman bellics brain @ Wednesday, Oct 17 2012, 02:19)

this thread is proof of what i'm talking about. You cool kids gang up on me and cobra to prove how cool you are and me and cobra just have to sit their and take it This is why people shoot up highschools, this is why people kill themselves because they see how the games rigged against them from the start just like i do.

Dude, nobody is ganging up on you. If you were mature enough, you'd know that. What your thinking, isn't mentally rational. You haven't figured something out that thousands, millions before you haven't pondered already. Your thought processes need to develop. You have some growing up to do. I think you are quite young so I'm not going in to detail with you. It's tough when you are a teen.

Keep an open mind. Learn some thing new.

[El_Diablo]

QUOTE (roman bellics brain @ Tuesday, Oct 16 2012, 18:19)

This is why people shoot up highschools, this is why people kill themselves

no it's not.

people only murder innocent's or kill themselves because they're cowards who haven't developed coping skills.

[GreatestEver23]

The key Is staying positive, The Secret. If you haven't already, read/watch The Secret, it opened my mind. Stay positive and it will get better, just got to stick it out thru the thick and thin.

[Tyler]

I dunno, I see where everyone is coming from but at the end of the day the two that everyone is ganging up on have the right idea. Not the whole angsty teen thing - they could definitely benefit from some articulation and sight-seeing before they profess that life is worthless. Life is meaningless. That statement is only telling you that lying to yourself is without reward and that the universe won't work for you. It's not saying you have to be sad about how big the universe is, or that you have to make your own adventure in life, or that pessimism or optimism or realism is the way to go. Everything is equally without meaning.

The flipside is that with everything being on the same level, you can focus on how beautiful it is, or whatever you want to do really. No one can tell you with honesty that you should do one thing or another, because there is no should. You can do what you want to do in the limited circumstances that you've been dropped in to, and you'll always be right. Someone asked Cobra why he doesn't just kill himself if life is so pointless but that completely misses the point (heh) - it's all the same. Kill yourself or not - you're still going to die. You might as well stick around because no matter what it will get better if you do. Or maybe you won't. The point is that it's your choice and we can't tell you sh*t about it except for what we went through. To add to that, the fact that you people are criticizing one another's perspectives on something so completely incomparable as opinions on ambition seems a bit counter-productive.

I'm not a fan of the idea of hope. I'm not a fan of spirituality or souls or anything other than the now. They were invented by people who weren't happy with who they were, or where they were. I don't want to carry a tradition that limits myself to thinking something better will come along. I'm completely happy with the now and that's all there should be to it. That said, I'm sure most people find that trite, angsty and probably very immature. I'm all of those things so it's pretty fair.

Anyway, to relate back to TheBlackProject in some kind of contribution, I never knew my father. He left me at 3 months old. My stepfather after that was an alcoholic, a really sh*tty person that would hit me. He was also an amazing chef and when he was sober he taught me a lot of things. There's nothing good or evil about either one of them, both of my fathers gave me lessons that I'll remember for the rest of my life. There's no hope to it, there's only the now. I do hope (heh) you find what you want to find in life, and always know that at the end of the day we're all in the same confused boat as you.

This post has been edited by Tyler on Wednesday, Oct 17 2012, 03:11

[Ferocious Banger]

Sorry man. I feel the same too-for different reasons.

I..i am a 12th grader. My exams(critical exams) are coming and I don't even know sh*t. I only have 4 months for the exams. When I sit down to study, I don't even feel like studying it-and I know the consequences of failing. My family ain't rich either.

What's ironic is, I get called as an extremely intelligent fellow. I have know idea why people have been saying this for all these years!

Secondly, even though I hang around with ' friends', I don't know if anybody will help me out if I'm in a dangerous situation.

I have generally been misunderstood my whole life . I get bullied sometimes too!



But whatever, may your dad rest in peace .

[IM_YOUR_GOD]

SMOKE SOME WEED AND STOP WHINING LIKE A LITTLE SCHOOL GIRL.

[Kifflom112]

QUOTE (IM_YOUR_GOD @ Saturday, Nov 10 2012, 11:15)

SMOKE SOME WEED AND STOP WHINING LIKE A LITTLE SCHOOL GIRL.

Nice...

[.dre.]

i hope things are looking better for you, man.

[whatsstrength]

I'm not gonna lie, I teared up just a little bit reading your story. I'm very sorry that his happened to you. It's a shame that the world likes to chew up and spit out decent people.

Cliche as it may sound, maybe instead of dwelling on the bad things that happened between you and your father, think about what you did that made him proud, and what made him smile. Using that information, continue those actions and live a happy life. The last thing any parent would want is to see their child fall into a deep slump and not trying to get out. Your father wouldn't want you to be miserable, he would like for you to live life to the fullest and enjoy the time you have with the people you still have around you.

[Kent Traffic Cop]

QUOTE (roman bellics brain @ Wednesday, Oct 17 2012, 01:19)

this thread is proof of what i'm talking about. You cool kids gang up on me and cobra to prove how cool you are and me and cobra just have to sit their and take it This is why people shoot up highschools, this is why people kill themselves because they see how the games rigged against them from the start just like i do.

Are you kidding me? Jesus I thought this crap was only limited to the V section...

If those are truly your thoughts, unplug your router or simply don't visit this site anymore. This is the internet, not "real life" and you can easily leave at anytime.


The fact that you've mentioned shooting up a High School has made this ex-cop twitch... and being absolutely honest, if I still had the tools to find out who you were, I'd be writing up an intelligence report about your post.

[NateShaw92]

QUOTE (Kent Traffic Cop @ Saturday, Nov 10 2012, 20:14)

QUOTE (roman bellics brain @ Wednesday, Oct 17 2012, 01:19) this thread is proof of what i'm talking about. You cool kids gang up on me and cobra to prove how cool you are and me and cobra just have to sit their and take it This is why people shoot up highschools, this is why people kill themselves because they see how the games rigged against them from the start just like i do. Are you kidding me? Jesus I thought this crap was only limited to the V section... If those are truly your thoughts, unplug your router or simply don't visit this site anymore. This is the internet, not "real life" and you can easily leave at anytime. The fact that you've mentioned shooting up a High School has made this ex-cop twitch... and being absolutely honest, if I still had the tools to find out who you were, I'd be writing up an intelligence report about your post.

I can do that for you my friend:
he has none.

End of report

[TenEightyOne]

QUOTE (TheBlackProject @ Thursday, Jul 12 2012, 03:04)

EDIT: A picture of my parents and I on summer vacation at Puetro Vallarta, Mexico in July/August 2011. My dad is on the right.

From the sounds of your Dad I guess he would have laughed at the idea of you pointing out which one was him in that pic

I guess you've got to ask yourself; what would your Dad be saying to you now? What would he do in your position?

He sure as hell wouldn't be happy at how the situation turned out... but what would he have done and said to cheer you all up? Stop reading this post now, think about it - he may have already explained the right path to you without you even knowing it.

Peace.

[Noob_Noobersson]

Well...that is certainly, quite the bummer. I would have a tough time imagining the hardship that would come with losing a parent at such a young age, as well as the unfair emotional burden that you are carrying around for the time being.

There are a few things that strike me right away with your post. One of the big ones is your use of Cannabis and Benzo's. While Cannabis is not a seriously addicting drug, Benzodiazapines can become very addicting, and cause very serious withdrawal symptoms. In fact, in the state that I Lice in, there was just a lawsuit a couple years back where a man's family was awarded a seven-figure settlement after the gentleman died while incarcerated b/c he was not given his medication. I guess withdrawal can cause serious blood pressure spikes, hallucination and cardiac arrest.

So, I don't know what kind of habit you have, but I recommend that you slow down as soon as possible.

The weed isn't so bad, but you need to be sure that your recreational use isn't being fueled by you trying to smoke weed to cover up or mask how you feel. You don't want to look at Cannabis as your new answer to life problems.

What you need to do, is begin to reconnect, or just connect, with your Mother, and any other immediate family members that you talk to, and branch out to any extended family, or friends that you used to talk to. This is important, as it allows you to share your feelings with people who are most likely, feeling very similar to you. It will also help to strengthen the bond of your relationships within your family.

Another thing that you need to start working on; is thinking about how lucky you were to spend the time that you did get to spend with your father. There are a lot of kids who aren't that lucky. Many lose their fathers even younger, or even worse, never had fathers to begin with. You got to spend year after year after year with this great man. You got to know who he was and how he thought. You got to watch how he conducted himself in many, many, many moments in life. This relationship, and those memories are something that you get to keep forever. You were blessed to know this strong, great man who loved you enough to be a father to you for 18 years. And while it is sad that his death should come a little more prematurely that you were prepared for. I believe that his passing has brought you an opportunity to begin living your life as he would have wanted you to live it.

He walked alongside you, as your father for years and years, and he did that so that one day, you would know how to walk without him there. So think long and hard about what he would have to say about your situation right now, and think about how you think he would want you to handle it. It's quite obvious that he valued you a great deal, and so he would want you to move on and live a fulfilling life. he raised you so you could.

With all of this said; there is no reason to let yourself get bogged down in the tough parts. Loss is a tough thing to deal with, but time will make things easier, and I urge you to take this advise and begin living to be the man that your father would have wanted you to be.....

Best Regards,

GDH

[Cosmic Gypsy]

QUOTE (El_Diablo @ Wednesday, Oct 17 2012, 02:54)

QUOTE (roman bellics brain @ Tuesday, Oct 16 2012, 18:19) This is why people shoot up highschools, this is why people kill themselves no it's not. people only murder innocent's or kill themselves because they're cowards who haven't developed coping skills.

Lmao... A very childish thing to say.

[SlickSpencer8]

I am not sure if other people read this post or not, but I read the whole thing. I am very sorry to here about you lost of your father. I don't share this to much with anyone but I will with you. When I was 13 my mother started to have stomach pains in her stomach for two weeks. After the 2 weeks we went to the hospital on my birthday, and after a few test, they found out that she had stomach cancer. It was totally unexpected. I thought she just had the flue or something. After that I couldn't really comprehend it, I didn't know what to think.

After about 6 more months after so many test and trying to heal her she had passed away. I feel so disrespectful that I really get to say thank you for everything she did, she taught me so much in life and helped me with anything and one hell of cook. I can't thank her enough for what she did. But the doctors didn't want to say anything to me but my dad told me everything that was going on. My dad and I were the closest we have ever been.

It's going be coming up to the six year period here soon and I still think of her all the time and I wish this wasn't true. Life sucks man, but you have to find the greater good in life and you need to keep going in life. It takes years to heal my friend. You need to look on the bright side of things and look at the good times you had and keep moving on. Make your dad proud of you, he is still watching you, but you won't see him. It's just so hard in these situations that I try to help others and there is not much you can do. Best of wishes to you mate and get better!

~ SlickSpencer8 | PM me if you want to talk. I know what it's like to lose a family member.

[Carlover325]

I'm very sorry for your loss. But avoiding the memories is not going to help. Thinking about him or talking about him may make you feel sad, especially at first. But the more you think about the memories, the easier it gets.

I also lost my dad recently, on June 24, 2011. But unlike you, I didn't know him for very long. The very first time I talked to him was June 26, 2010. The very first time I met him was October 19, 2010, which also happened to be my 22nd birthday. We became close very quickly.

My dad suffered from heart problems starting in 1996, when he had his first heart attack. Since then, he had suffered multiple heart attacks, including 1 massive, sometime in 2009. This took a toll on his health, and by the time I met him, it was hard for him to walk or do anything physical. It was hard for him to walk across the room. He had several major surgeries, including having a pacemaker/defibrillator unit put in his chest twice, the second was put in to replace the first which had a dead battery.

So in February of 2011 I quit my job and moved from California to South Carolina to help him out. His doctors labeled him 100% disabled. He had several doctors appointments every month, sometimes several a week. The closest Veterans hospital was in Augusta, Georgia which was 90 miles one way. My step-mom and brother worried about him on these trips, and so I was able to drive him back and forth if he was tired or not feeling well. On one trip, while he was driving, he started having heart palpitations and was able to pull over. He and I switched and I rushed him the rest of the way to the hospital.

On June 24, 2011, the final day of his life, we were camping. It was my dad, my 2 nieces, my nephew and I. All that day I noticed he was really tired, but whenever he would lie down to take a nap, he would get up again a few minutes later and say he's just not tired enough to go to sleep. We had a pop-up camper that had hail damage to the canvas, and it started to rain about 8pm. We decided to pack up and go home because all of our bedding was getting wet (we left the camper there for the night). Before I even left the campsite, he told me to pull over. When he opened the door, he leaned out and threw up. He said it was probably the hot dog he at at lunch. He closed his eyes and went to sleep.

About 15 minutes later, and about 30 minutes from home, he made a loud snoring-like noise. The kids were laughing and saying "Papa's snoring loud!" We got home, and I was unable to wake him up. I got my step-mom, and she had the kids go inside for snack. She was also unable to wake him, and told me to take him to the Fire Department/EMS station just down the street. They hooked him up to monitors while still in the passenger seat. When they saw nothing on the monitors, they ripped him out and tried to revive him, but it was too late. He died from a massive heart attack. They said it happened about 30 minutes before I got him there. I told them about the snoring noise, and they said that was when it happened. I burst into tears. I felt that if I had been able to get him to a hospital, he may not have died. But the EMT said that he would have died, even if he were in a hospital when it happened. When it's your time, it's your time.

For the first several months, I couldn't think about him without feeling sad. I couldn't talk about him without crying. But when the rawness of the pain went away, it got easier. Now I can think about him and talk about him, and remember the good times we had over those 4 months. And while there may sometimes be a twinge of sadness, for the most part the memories are what make me happy.

I know the circumstances are different. It sounds like you knew your dad for your whole life, and I only knew mine about a year. And your dad's death was a bit more unexpected. But I just want you to know, the memories may be hard at first, but they will bring you comfort later on.

Don't lose hope. You still have your mom, your family, and your friends. If you ever need to talk or have any questions, you can always PM me.