[Don Giovanni]

I know I shouldn't do this, but I'm bumping this thread to keep it alive

[AceRay]

QUOTE (Don Giovanni @ Thursday, Mar 8 2012, 01:54)

I know I shouldn't do this, but I'm bumping this thread to keep it alive

I suppose that's fair. Although there is a link under the popular thread in the IV section.

That said, I'd like to encourage anyone out there to write and post! I can't wait to read your stories and for staff (me or Aragond) to rate them. GTAIV isn't that old is it? I mean, Liberty City is still an amazing place to visit, with a host of interesting places to create characters in and develop them. Just write about something that interests you and you'll be addicted.

I'm probably preaching upon deaf ears, but for anyone who ain't sure about it, don't worry. Post away.

And me? Oh, I hope I'll be able to finish my Law stories, simply because I find them interesting. Now, bad news for all you fans of my Gambetti stories (both of you); I probably won't be continuing them. I kind of backed myself into a hole with Gilberto, who he is, what he's doing. His backstory is a little con convoluted and I really wanted to have a storyline where he has an affair with Emilio's fiance Sarah, while he's got a wife and another girlfriend he's trying save from Chip. It's just ridiculous. I just threw too much in early on and didn't develop so I ended up in a hole. But for anyone who does care, just PM me and I can probably send them what the storyline was going to be. Hell, give me a way to get out of this hole where it continue, it'd be greatly appreciated.

EDIT: I have continued them, so ignore this.

This post has been edited by AceRay on Wednesday, Jul 11 2012, 05:54

[Don Giovanni]

I'll need to regroup and start up my stories for The Law. Also, I'd like to buy a pistol for The Law

[Build Up Your Gang]

QUOTE (Don Giovanni @ Friday, Mar 9 2012, 21:17)

Also, I'd like to buy a pistol for The Law

Consider it done.

[batmankidal]

been a long time..
I'd like to buy a pistol for The Lost MC
more stories comin'

This post has been edited by batmankidal on Wednesday, Apr 11 2012, 11:26

[TheDandyManCan]

Sign me up... I'll go refresh myself with the OP and get started.

[Build Up Your Gang]

Right, a pistol has been bought for batmankidal. Go wild with it!

TheDandyManCan: Once you write a story, I can get you a writer's card. Its really easy to write something. Just pick a gang and write!

[TheDandyManCan]

Allow me to apologize in advance if the chapter is too short, this is just going to be me improvising as I go.


Chapter 1, Ancelotti Family, Sprunk Factory: I Didn't Want To Do It


I didn't want to do it. Honest to God, I almost didn't have the heart to. But what must a man do, when something so important to him is threatened? Every cell in my structure begged, pleaded that I didn't do it, but for better or for worse, it is done. Bah, enough wallowing, I should explain myself, to you, to any authorities that question me, and most prominently to myself.

My name is William McKay. I'm not native to Liberty City. If you spent 10 minutes in a room with me, you'd figure out from my mannerisms, my harsh Belfast accent, my obscenely out of place attire, and my overall outcast appearance in the blasted ****hole. I know I don't belong here, but one thing anchors me to this heathenistic playground: my family.

Well, my family of four: My loving wife Ailbe, and our sons Aiden and Brian, came here on one of those third-rate tourist cruises. The food was awful, the amusements not very amusing, the bathrooms smelled like the devil mating with your least favorite in-law, and stereotypical "Irish Spring Lucky Charm" bollocks was spewed all over the deck by some arse from Eastern Europe. honestly, it isn't much different from my new housing, in a rundown old Sprunk factory.

We had a overall average time in Algonquin; not anywhere close to being worth the pound sterling I paid. But, as we lost interest, we found ourselves in a dark alleyway. Bad things always seem to happen there. We were ambushed by petty thugs working for North Holland Hustlers. I thought we were right ****ed, but some men came to our "aid". Ancelotti grunts. What the hell they were doing here, I have not a clue, but them being there changed me forever.

The Hustler goons were surprised, but yet prepared for this. The two parties opened fire on each other, but I had more important things to overwatch in my kids. We huddled behind a dumpster for what felt like years, and when the smoke cleared, the Ancelotti party had prevailed. One Hustler rose, with pained breath, to taunt the apparent leader, but was met with a quick and remorseless end.

"The Boss in interested in your, er, past, Mr. McKay. He needs to see you now." , he said. But, I responded, "Thank you kindly for your assistance, sir. But I'm a clean man now. I'm not interested."

"Mr. McKay, I would advise you to collaborate with us for a moment here. The Boss does not like to be refused, especially from a paddy**** like you.", he retorted.

At this point, this racist bastard was really getting me going, back into my younger mindset, and I lost my control. Perhaps my lowest point in my new, impromptu life in America, and I had only been here for latter of 5 hours.

"Excuse me, what was that you goon? Get out of my face before I call the-"

I never got to finish my sentence, because around that point the goons clocked me with a firearm, and not expecting it, I took a fall. I'd love to say the state of knockout I was in allowed me to contemplate the situation, but no. I feel so awful, I condemned my family, myself to this! I don't know if I can forgive myself.


....To Be Continued....




Alright, how was that? Decided to go with a... not slow, but less aggressive character development. Hope I don't write myself into a croner with this one.

This post has been edited by TheDandyManCan on Friday, Apr 13 2012, 01:02

[AceRay]

Hooray! A story! I'm so pleased right now.

Normally, I'd wait for there to be more stories to be written but considering f*ck all has happened for the last months, I'll review Dandy's sometime today or tomorrow and Batmankidal's one too if its up.

[TheDandyManCan]

I apologize again if it seems half-assed, I have little writing experienc outside of educational endeavours.

[Build Up Your Gang]

Second reviews of the year! Just one but its more than last month!

TheDandyManCan
Ancelotti Family| Sprunk Factory| Chapter 1 : I Didn’t Want To Do It
$35 + $0 = $35

Yay, a new story! You know what? I thought it was pretty good, but a few problems irked me and kept you from getting $45+.

Firstly, I’m sorry to say that 556 words is a little too short for a story. The average length is 750-1000 words, but anything over 700 is good. Another couple hundred words wouldn’t have hurt and you’d probably gotten a little bit more money.

Next, grammar! There’s a few problems:
especially from a paddy**** like you.", he retorted. This sentence should really be especially from a paddy**** like you" he retorted. You’ve gotten it a bit wrong with the speech marks and it’s an easy mistake, you’ve just got to look out for it. Furthermore, I don’t know what “****” means. It could mean anything from “d*ck” to “c*nt”. When swearing, just put a neat little * in place of the vowel eg: f*ck. Also, don’t have commas follow the words ‘but’ and ‘and’.

Before I rip into it, I’d just like to say that I really like this premise. The opening line is great and the story is original. It’s an unorthodox decision to have this Irish family guy get conned into joining the Italian mafia and I’m excited to see where it goes. If you handle this well, it could be great.

But the narrator’s tone just got too casual at points. It’s what I said last time about mrpain’s story, fyi. Some of the comments McKay made just drew me out of the story. Example: Bah, enough wallowing, I should explain myself… That sentence would have worked a lot better without that. You get carried away.

I kinda got the feeling William was talking to someone after the story about his life, which is fine but giving some context really helps with casualness. Like an expanded version of: “William and I sat down and he told me about his life story.” Like, an expanded version of that basically allows you to use ‘um’ and ‘erm’ in your narrative.

Furthermore, the big exciting part of the story (the hustlers versus Ancelotti mob gunfight) goes by in about a sentence. It was a big cop-out for me personally and would have added some nice contrast to the rest of the story. It would have been great to get it up to 700 words too. It’s basically a firefight began and the Ancelotti family won. Firefights don’t ‘just begin’ like that. I also found some problems with following the story, as it begins as though the family is going on a holiday but then they live in the Sprunk factory? And all hope is lost within 5 hours? I think that line is a mistake.

Overall, its good but you need to expand on combat and make it longer. Looking forward for the next one.
-
TheDandyManCan

Gang	Ancelotti Family	Total
Details	Story Count: 1 Active Property: Sprunk Factory Money Earned: $37 Money Spent: $0 Last Post: Apr 13 2012	Money: $74 Stories: 1
Weapons	---
Vehicles	Presidente

-
Rated by AceRay


This post has been edited by Build Up Your Gang on Monday, Apr 16 2012, 21:59

[TheDandyManCan]

Chapter 2, Ancelotti Family, Sprunk Factory: Knee Deep in Taurine


I woke up in a daze. All I could see for a brief moment was a solid stream of green sh*t washing over my feet. What.... is that Sprunk? What the hell is this, some kind of joke?

What little I could remember of yesterday's events at the time was nerve-racking. Where the hell is my family? Where the hell am I, for that matter? Who are these men that accosted us, and why? If the man in front of me holding a pistol to my head is any clue, I'll find out soon.

"I told you to come quietly, Bill. You didn't, and look what happened. I think this will be an educational experience for bot of us, Mr. McKay."

"Wait, wait. Will be?" I responded. "What do you want from me? Where the hell am I?" I started wretching around in my seat, but the restraints wouldn't budge, and if they did, well, there would still be a guy with a pistol in front of me. "Bill, my boss needs you to do some errands, some gruntwork for him. You, are currently in an abandoned soda factory. Your family isn't here, but at a different location that I know I can't trust you with."

Oh, sh*t. My family, they're with them? Damnit.... I guess I have no choice but to hear him out. "What kind of work? I told you before, I'm clean now. Why me, anyhow? I'm not in this city to do anything for you pricks." But he replid, "Bill, either you do some work for us, or we gut all four of you like f*cking game hens, alright?"

It was a hard decision to make, but I guess I have to do their dirty work. "Great choice, Bill. Now, your first job. We need you to place a bag of our product in an alley off the street that leads to the factory, it's gonna have five trash cans all tipped over in front of it to mark it. Alright?"

With gritted teeth, I sittfened my upeer lip and said, "For fu... fine, I'll do it. But this one job and I'm out. Right?" His reply was informative, sort of, but disappointing. "We'll see, Bill. Now go, you have an hour to get there."



About 20 minutes later, I was in the alleyway I needed to get to. The bins were in fact, tipped over, so the pricks didn't lie about that. But, as I was setting down the bag, which was all too obviously drugs, I heard a rustling coming from in a cranny between two buildings. Oh, sh*t, not another fight. But, alas, a thug came out with an aluminum bat, and shouted "B*tch, gimme the stuff! Don't make me f*ckin unload one on ya!" When I refused, he started sprinting at me with bat overhead, poising to strike.

I sidestepped his swing and elbowed him in the back of the neck, which seemed to just piss him off. He swung again, but again I dodged and swept his feet. He landed on the concrete with a sickening thud, and seemed to be out of it, but when he reached for his bat I had to take it first and whack him a few times with it.

I hoped in vain that that would be the end of it, but as I feared, he had back up. Four more thugs, which I could discern were more North Holland Hustlers like before, came out armed with bats and knives. F*ck's sake, I can't take all of 'em, I thought. Thankfully, though, I saw an open door to an apartment complex. A million thoughts ran through my head, but one stuck out: get the f*ck out of there.

I lobbed the bat in their general direction, but it missed by a pretty wide margin, so I huffed it into the complex and up the stairs. The bastards were hopped up on PCP, or crack or some sh*t though, and despite my headstart they kept up close. I knew with each floor I was coming closer to the roof , but what then? What a stupid idea this was. When I made it to the rooftop, I had nowhere to go. So I did possibly the most impossibly dumb thing ever. I stood up to four drug fiends with weapons, by myself, unarmed.

They were reluctant to attack, probably not wanting any charges to affect them. Weird logic if so, since they've already chased me onto a rooftop with weapons. One charged forth with a knife and lunged at me, but I disarmed him and hiptossed his dumb ass over the ledge and into an awning below. The impact on the alley floor was accented with a muffled yelp, and I swear I heard a limb dislocate.

This seemed to intimidate the others, thankfully, but in their high they were still eager to avenge their mate. Without any foresight, I threw my knife at the leftmost gangbanger, but this time my aim held true and I struck him in the sternum. He went down immediately, but I no longer had any weaponry.

The two charged me simultaneously, probably the smartest move any of us had made yet, but they missed and I slammed one's head into the ledge of the rooftop. He went down too, but the other caught me in my prime and knocked me down. He lunged at me and started this chain of cliche B-movie suspense fodder, and all I could do was fend him off.

For a second or too, I thought I was dead, but that's when a gunshot crackled through the air. My assailant froze, then slid off me, lifeless, with a hint of remorse in his eyes. I looked up to see that my savior was no savior at all. It was that same Ancelotti goon from the gunfight AND the factory! "You! You set me up to fail, you bastard!" I shouted.

"No, Bill, if you're implying I sent these gangbangers, I didn't. However, in hindsight," He stops to laugh. "... I should have given you a knife, at least. Great work, though, taking out three on your own. I see your past has, ahem, stuck with you, at least through combat prowess."

I never stopped to think about it till now, but how the hell does he know about my past? He stared at me with ice cold eyes and the sly grin of a killer, as if he knew something I didn't, which I suppose he did. "Oh, by the way," he said. "You dropped this on the way down." He handed me the drugs. "Put that back in the alleyway, and consider your work done for tonight."

He handed me a handful of bills and again, told me I did a good job. But I saw through it. "Well, when can I see my family? I did what you asked." "Bill, there's a bed and some food set up in the corner of the old Sprunk factory, you remember the one. Swt up there for the night, and we'll see about tomorrow."

"No, not then, now! Show me my family, you d*ck!" I shouted in protest. "Bill, you remember what happened last time you mouthed off to me? I can't exactly re-kidnap your wife and kids, but I can think of somethin' else. Now go, go to the factory for the night. Damn."



I hated the thought of my family spending another night with these bastards, but my protests seem to fall upon deaf ears. I arrived back at the factory, and, reluctantly retired for the night. I had no dreams that night, to my memory, for nightmares took their place. My family rotting in a safehouse with these slimy, insipid f*cks, the deaths of all of us, and even if I got them back, what our future would hold for us were all topics on the forefront of my subconscious.

I slept horribly, and rightfully so. Killing two or three men for your family's safety, only to find that it really WASN'T for your family's safety really does a number. I've been here for less than two days now, and already my life is as fraught with peril as it was when I was a youngin in Belfast. Back when.... I'd rather not talk about it. Maybe another time, but for now, I slumber. Tomorrow, who knows what will happen? Not me, hell no, not me.

...To Be Continued...


I apologize again if this is too short, but I have no clue how to check wordcount. Minus ten brownie points for me.

[batmankidal]

Chapter 2, The Lost MC, The Lost MC Clubhouse : The Deal With Russian

I'm wiping my bike in front of the clubhouse garage when Johnny called me, yes Johnny Klebitz the club's Vice President. "Bradley, I need you to oversee the exchange of our weapons with the Russian. The deal se for tonight. " "Of course, Johnny," I said. "Good, now listen to me. Billy did a lot of stupid things ever since he got out of rehab, and I'm not going to let this continue to happen. I want this exchange went well, so do not screw up, okay? "Johnny spoke with a very serious face. "Sure, man" I said soothingly. "This Ruskie named Ivan, and he's not a joke". "Hey, take Spike and Tiny with you. I want this deal under the radar, so do not wear your cut ! "Johhny start his Hexer and then then leave.

When night came I was driving my Zombie in front of a van Tiny driven, while Spike sat down next to him. Not like his name, Tiny is a big man. Beardo and got a deep voice, he is a man you do not want to mess with. Spike is average, not skinny and not fat. But this guy is the craziest adrenaline junkies I've ever known. The story that his first task is to disturb the party of Angels Of Death at some bar. He ended up blowing all AoD motorcycle parked on that place ! Cool !. We take this van to transport the damn weapons. To be honest, I was not feel really protected without a cut, but Johnny was right. If the deal is going south or we are caught by the police, the club will not take the hit. We drove to Hove Beach area and headed for the port. At the entrance of the harbor we stopped by someone who look like the port security. "Are you here to meet the Russian ?" Turn out his Russian accent is very noticeable. "Yeah, man. Are they have inside? "I asked. "Come in" damn Russian don’t answer my question.

Inside the port there’s a lot of armed Russian holding AK-47, Uzi, you name it. One of them shows the direction to the abandon warehouse at north side of the port. After parking our vehicles in place that have been determined, we met Ivan and more Ruskie. Ivan got Russian look that more presentable than others in this place, as if to say if he was their leader. If any other Russian wearing a black jacket, Ivan wore a full black suit and red tie. It reminds me of Hitman game, but he’s not bald and ... "Did you bring the money?" Voice of Ivan woke me from my reverie. "Tiny, show them the money" I said. Tiny gave a big bag to Ivan's men, who then took a few step back to calculate the money. "I heard you guys deal with snitchs within your organization" Ivan said to me. "True, but the issue was resolved. I take care of myself "I said. "Good, because I want our deal to continue for a long time" Ivan looked at me sharply. "The money is good, boss" Ivan’s men said to him. "Now give us the arms" I said. "Give them the gun" Ivan said to his men. Four people enter the werehouse quickly holding two big crates. One of them open the crate with a crowbar, and showed me the contents of that box. Seen a few AK-47 poking out of the crate, Spike and Tiny rushed counted. "It’s all there" Spike said.

Suddenly we hear a shot from a distance, followed by the sound of the many motorcycle engine roared the night at the harbor. Spike saw me and said, "motherf*cking Angels Of Death". Ivan said: "What is this?". "How the hell I know, I just curious as you now !" I replied. Ivan's men ran toward the werehouse door with a ferocious right when I realized what was coming next. "They will be slaughtered" Tiny read my mind. And there was carnage in front of our eyes, in a few seconds later the bodies of dead several of Ivan’s men hit the ground. Me, Tiny and Spike off to find hiding, followed Ivan and the rest of his remaining mens. "Call the Broker chapter !" I yelled to Tiny. Tiny was hearing a dial tone when the werehouse door blast open and something slide into. "sh*t, it's a grenade!" Spike jumped out at me and Tiny. BOOOMMM! After an explosion that make ear sore, following the sound of a shot that was leading in all directions. We're all still busy overturned crates of port when there was one member of the Angels of Death shouting "Get the gun, then put it into the van". OH sh*t ! The shootout is one thing, but got our weapon stolen will make us face a big problem. "Broker chapter are heading here," said Tiny. "Shoot them!" Ivan suddenly command his mens. "Damn, this Russian are ruthless f*ck !"I told myself. I had to use shoot my pistol, as well as Tiny and Spike. Apparently AoD was not that close to the crates of weapons owned by us and are very surprised at our response. Spike jumps forward with the Russia, firing furiously. Amid all the chaos, there was someone shouting in panic from the AoD. "More of The Lost is coming!". "Yeah, it definitely Broker chapter !" I thought. "Let's get the f*ck outta here!" The AoD escapes, and the shootout came to an end.

After thanking the brothers of the Broker chapter, I went up to Ivan who was tending a wounded several of his men. "I hope that our deal is not disturb by this little mess" I said. "Easy for you to say, it’s not your men who was hurt" Ivan said with a growl. "Solve your problems with another motorcycle gang, then we can do business again" he added before get into his Rebla. "All right, let's get out of this damn place" I said to Spike and Tiny. On my way back to the clubhouse, I was imagining what would be scolding I got from Johnny. I took a deep breath .......

[Don Giovanni]

sh*t, I totally forgot this. I'm gonna write for the Law again and maybe for one of the Italian families.

[Build Up Your Gang]

TheDandyManCan
Ancelotti Family| Sprunk Factory | Chapter 2 : Knee Deep in Taurine
$38 + $35 = $73

Firstly, WOW! 1412 words is a great length, more than I could expect. I can see you took my length problems to heart. As for your word count problem, you could use this if you don’t have one on your computer.

On the grammar front, it’s mostly good. If there’s one problem, it’s that you sometimes forget to put each new speaker on a new line.
Example: "What kind of work? I told you before, I'm clean now. Why me, anyhow? I'm not in this city to do anything for you pricks." But he replid, "Bill, either you do some work for us, or we gut all four of you like f*cking game hens, alright?" The second speaker should have been on a new line, like this:
"What kind of work? I told you before, I'm clean now. Why me, anyhow? I'm not in this city to do anything for you pricks."
"Bill, either you do some work for us, or we gut all four of you like f*cking game hens, alright?" he replied. It makes it much easier to distinguish who’s speaking in a sentence.
Damnit should be Dammit and there are a few other spelling errors that sneak in like: sittfended, upeer, savior and aluminum. Respectively, they should be stiffened, upper, savior and aluminium.

Right, with that out of the way, time to talk about the story itself! There’s some nice fighting, some nice dialogue and I think its works well all in all. However, it’s often better to imply things then tell the reader strait out, which is something you do quite a bit of. Letting the reader figure things out for themselves is a great style of writing. So, instead of saying ”this seemed to intimidate the others” why not have the thugs do something that lets the reader decide that they’re intimidated, like ”the other thugs backed away slightly as they started to get shaky. Don’t tell your readers how to feel, let them figure it out for themselves.

Something else I found lacking was the characters. When the Ancelotti guy turns up again at the end, I was like “Oh, who was that guy again?” You haven’t characterized any of the supporting cast. The most interesting thing about creating characters is seeing how they interact with each other and it’s hard to remember which Ancelotti mobster is which. You haven’t described them or anything. At least give him an artificial name like ‘The Bearded Guy’ so that can help break up the confusion. Stories are driven by characters and their actions.

Lastly, don’t use ‘…’ in your narrative. You can have it in dialogue but in the narrative it’s lazy. Don’t have your character say ‘I thought’ in the narrative because the story is the character’s thoughts and it’s redundant. The story also falls into a bit of ‘I did this, I did that’ too much of the time.

Overall, a nice story that needs some polishing up. Keep at it.

batmankidal
The Lost MC| The Lost MC Clubhouse | Chapter 2 : The Deal With Russian
$27 + $3 = $30

The big, big issue with this story is the grammar! Or, to be more precise, the paragraph breaks! Now, whenever there is a new speaker, there is a new paragraph. Frankly, at the moment, the story is very, very ugly to read. Look at the following example:

”Hey James, take a left turn” said Angela so I turned left. “What’s the matter” said Eddie. “I don’t know” “Don’t be so glum” I said to Angela as I pulled into Silent Hill. “Where’s my beer?” I said to Eddie. “Ignore him.” Angela said.
This is how NOT to do it. It’s hard to tell who’s talking to whom, which happens in your story sadly. Each new speaker gets a new line, like the following example.
“Hey James, take a left turn” said Angela so I turned left.

“What’s the matter?” said Eddie.

“I don’t know”

“Don’t be so glum” I said to Angela as I pulled into Silent Hill.

“Where’s my beer?”

“Here it is Eddie” Angela said. (yes, I have been playing a lot of Silent Hill 2)

This is much better, grammar wise. You can tell who’s speaking and isn’t an ugly block of text. This is the main issue holding your story back. The past and present tenses get mixed up a lot but I guess it’s a language barrier issue, so I won’t hamper on about it. Just FYI, “I was driving my Zombie in front of a van Tiny driven” should really be “I was driving my Zombie in front of a van Tiny was driving” and “this guy is the craziest adrenaline junkies I've ever known” is actually this guy is the craziest adrenaline junkie I've ever known

Other than the big problem, there is some great potential. While I disapprove of using a game protagonist in your story, Klebitz is more of a background character so it’s okay. The action is fast and it looks like the beginning of an interesting story arc. Great length too (1039 words).

In conclusion, have another shot at it and try to get the grammar right, especially the paragraph breaks if nothing else.

-
TheDandyManCan

Gang	Ancelotti Family	Total
Details	Story Count: 2 Active Property: Sprunk Factory Money Earned: $73 Money Spent: $0 Last Post: Apr 15 2012	Money: $73 Stories: 2
Weapons	---
Vehicles	Presidente

batmankidal

Gang	The Lost MC	Total
Details	Story Count: 2 Active Property: The Lost MC clubhouse Money Earned: $57 Money Spent: $25 Last Post: Apr 15 2012	Money: $30 Stories: 2
Weapons	Pistol
Vehicles	Zombie

rated by AceRay

This post has been edited by Build Up Your Gang on Wednesday, Apr 18 2012, 02:21

[TheDandyManCan]

By the Nine, I double my word count? How did I manage that? Anyways, thanks for the feedback, again.

Also, I should buy myself a Combat Pistol.

[Build Up Your Gang]

QUOTE (TheDandyManCan @ Wednesday, Apr 18 2012, 19:05)

By the Nine, I double my word count? How did I manage that? Anyways, thanks for the feedback, again.

Yeah, its scary how you can just go ape and write much more than what you were expecting. AceRay used to write giant,4000 sized monsters without knowing it.

QUOTE

Also, I should buy myself a Combat Pistol.

You should, shouldn't you?

Consider it done. Everyone get writing.

[Linki]

So, I'm not too sure how this works. Do I just write a possible scenario that involves a gang? What's this about "buying" guns and properties? Is their a set limit on how much you have to write? I think a story can be good without an excess of 700 plus words. And I don't need to have to worry about such things as word-counts away from school hah.

[AceRay]

QUOTE (Linki @ Thursday, Apr 19 2012, 21:33)

So, I'm not too sure how this works.

Don't worry I'm here to help.

QUOTE

Do I just write a possible scenario that involves a gang?

What you do is pick a gang and write about them. If that's not enough, basically, your protagonist is part of a gang and they go around doing gang stuff like drug deals and shoot outs, you know, the fun stuff, and there's an overarc plot.

QUOTE

What's this about "buying" guns and properties?

After you've written a story, a staff member will rate it based on how good it is and give you some money. You can then use said money to buy weapons and cars (drugs haven't been set up yet). The trick is you're not allowed to use items you haven't bought, so if you don't have an assault rifle, you can't "use" it in your story. An assault rifle can appear in your story but the gang you chose can't shoot it or drive a car you don't own.

Example: You write for the Ancelotti Family. James, the protagonist, is a part of said gang. You haven't bought a Turismo so James can't drive one. Eddie, who's in another gang, can drive a Turismo. As long James (or any other Ancelotti member) doesn't directly drive that car, its okay.

F*ck, I hope that's not confusing. Sorry if it is, I'll try to simplify it.

However, for your first ever story, you get a pistol free of charge to use for that one story, so if you want to open with a massive gun fight, you can.

Properties are simply where your story is set. So, if you were part of the Albanian Mob and the property was The Platypus, that would be where the story is set. Its kind of like the main base if you will ie the protagonist works there.

QUOTE

Is their a set limit on how much you have to write? I think a story can be good without an excess of 700 plus words. And I don't need to have to worry about such things as word-counts away from school hah.

I agree that a story can be good in only 300 words or so, there was a influx of really short stories that were more like prologues than chapters. 700+ words is really just a guideline for substantial writing.

[Linki]

Thanks a bunch man. I have some more queries if that's OK.

What sort of story should I avoid? I'm sure people have come in and posted stuff that wasn't intended. Can it just be a well written piece about a common gang activity (drive-by, robbery, drug deal, etc)?